Ugh, I just got an email from the coordinator at the gifted school... it seems I still have the option of keeping him there.

Now I have to make the decision again, so let me throw it out there one more time:

What is better for an "underachieving" HG+ (DYS) kid--

a) a much-coveted gifted school where he has not really thrived or been inspired, where there is an emphasis on his two areas of weakness (writing and math) which has caused him to consider himself stupid, where we don't really feel accepted socially, and which is a difficult commute. (Though many of these problems COULD have been a bad teacher match... it could improve.)

b) a small, new, progressive charter school very near our house whose principal will not really discuss the curriculum with me and who visibly shuddered when I said the word "gifted." Though I can't help but feel that this school will immediately notice my son's many unusual qualities and, if they are good educators (which they seem to be) will then understand that here we have a truly gifted kid... (Here in NYC every child is "gifted" so I can somewhat understand her distaste for the word.) However, he is already L-A-Z-Y, and if things are too easy for him, will it set him up for a lifetime of easiness? (He is starting 2nd great and has already done a second grade curriculum at the other school and is reading stuff like Harry Potter and Tolkien.)

Or could be possibly benefit from being the big fish in a small pond?

So what do you think? The frying pan? Or the fire?

Mitigating factor: we have another child who could go to the charter school if big brother goes, but will likely be black-listed if we pull out now. Frankly I am not getting will-need-gifted-school vibes from the baby.