Last year DS6�s teacher recommended that we get him tested as he was �on a different plane�. DH and I thought that he was bright, but then he was our first child and just what we were used to. The result was that he is gifted and it took a long while to get our heads around this.

He recently started a new school where they said that they could cater for him, but unfortunately so far it is not quite going to plan. Before they started the option was to accelerate him (which we were told would need to be by at least 2 years to have any impact) or to leave him at his grade level and do a special curriculum for him. We all decided best to leave him at Grade level. We are now well into school year and DS6 is telling us he is just getting �baby� work and it is all too easy. I have given teachers examples of previous work, but the only subject he is getting differentiated work in is Maths and even that is not challenging enough. DS says it makes him feel as if he has �no brain�.

DH and I are going to try to resolve this next week. I suggested that DS request harder work from one of the subject teachers if he wants it, which he did but the response that he got was �I am only one teacher and can�t split myself in half�. It is the first time DS has actually asked for something himself and unfortunately the response was not positive.

So yes, let me get to the point � in your experiences what is the best solution � pushing for a differentiated curriculum or just asking for the acceleration? The problem is that he is good at all the subjects so everything would need to be extended for him � is that unreasonable? To me the acceleration seems to be an easy opt-out, does anyone have experience of a 2 year acceleration? Any advice / suggestions welcome...

In our situation, we spent K-3 waiting for the school to get it together with differentiated curriculum. We even changed schools in the hopes of seeing it come about. In our case it did not. We are currently waiting to see if we get approval for a partial day because my daughter isn't "ahead" in writing and comprehending inferences and with her aspergers would benefit from some time with children closer to her age. We homeschool to meet her needs. At our recent IEP meeting the school has come out and said that they can't accomodate her needs appropriately.

I think you would really need to look at the school and see what they have successfully done with other students and talk to other parents that have kids in the GT range if you can. When we finally got test results and understood that our daughter was in fact GT I contacted a now defunked parents group that I found on our states dept. of education website. Once I did that our decisions became easier when we realized what other parents had tried to do with the school and their results. I would have done things differently had I had both sets of information a few years ago.

Best wishes with your decision. We were just there when the school was offering to move my DD up by a minimum of one year and maybe two like you are discussing. It is a hard one, for us I just couldn't see her in the middle school with the social problems of aspergers. That is not the case in your situation and like Dottie has said it does work for many kids. I still wonder if we are going the right route, but now I'm back to second guessing myself. Please stay out of hiding, it is always nice to share ideas with parents who have been in similar situations. Could your DS visit the classroom he would be moving into?

I loved radical acceleration. I was accelerated 3 years both times in two different districts - from 1st into 4th and from 7th to 10th. If its a good school and he is treated like any other kid, he will thrive. The first time, I felt really small and recall crying a bit, but was fine the next day. The second time I was just glad to be challenged.

I also had a smaller acceleration in between and for that I was moved into one class for reading and then another for math and then I got to pick which class I stayed with and they moved me at the middle of the year.

So, wht you might do is have him go up to 4th grade (??) for reading period to see if he likes it then add in the other subjects until he is fully integrated.

Writing was a big issue for me - I have never had to take notes before - but that was worked through. My much older classmates took me for what I was.

If he is not accelerated, then he will learn to sneak books into class and pass the time teaching himself.

Even when I was accelerated, I did this anyway. Be prepared for it. Just because its more advanced material, he may "know" it in a minute then be bored again - I was not truly challenged until I got into AP-level classes.

Interesting how the 'higher ups' assure one that differentiation inside the classroom can work, but the teachers who have to do the work have a very different view. I think that the teacher answered your question about the limits of in class differentiation, and explains why subject and full grade accelerations - with all their very real downsides - are so popular.

Perhaps you can keep you child with agemates for specials and Gym and go with +2 for the academic subjects? For some kids this 'dual citizenship' makes them feel like a million bucks, while other kids just want to 'get their fake passport and blend in at any cost.' Try to do a trial of some kind and expect to modify from there. I'm just very thankful that the school is willing to be flexable for you!

Thanks so much for all the input - I am going to get the IOWA accleration manual and have a look at that. It is also good to hear some positive stories about acceleration and that it has worked for some families (I have only come across the negative side of acceleration to date). The only thing that my DS6 likes about school is the work, so if that isn't challenging enough he will get disillusioned quickly! Unfortunately he is a very reserved boy and not one to kick up a fuss or ask for anything - he just conforms and then comes home upset.

I like the ideas about the gradual integration and trials with the +2 class if they are unable to differentiate his work further. DH and I are meeting with the Head next week and these will be good discussion points. I do however think that they may say that they are concerned how he will cope with sports with the older boys and also how he will cope from a social point of view (which are legitimate concerns)- have any of you had to deal with these points?

Why do I feel like I am constantly in a dark room trying to find the light switch?! Who's hiding it?!

I agree with Grin, for my DS, Kindergarten consists of recess, lunch and show and tell. The rest of the day he is moving from one class to another. He has 5 teachers every day and is allowed to participate in classes such as Science and Computer Science that kids don't normally get until 3rd grade. He loves it!

Hi & welcome! I also have a DS6, he skipped 1st into 2nd this year.

It hasn't been totally smooth socially but he has adjusted & made some friends. Academically, it was definitely a good move for him. He's pretty social so while we agonized over him being even younger, we were also worried he'd start acting up more when bored.

They change classes for math so they're more with kids at their level. It doesn't totally solve the problem but helps. Our school has several pull out learning teachers & he meets w/his read teacher 2x a week. She gives him projects & works on higher level reading assignments with him.

I don't know if you have any of those options but wanted to share a hopefully successful grade skip/diff. combo. I love your light line - that's so true. We're still wandering around but if you have any questions about the skip, I'd be happy to share how it went for us.

we had the same situation with our oldest a few years back. the school woul dskip him 2 years or he had to sit in the class and get diff.work. After two weeks he got nothing except worksheets to do at home. The third week they told us, they all will catch up eventualy to him. He was 7 with a 5 year intellectual lead on the others.

we switched schools since a 2 year acceleration was a bit scarier. we put him in a rigorous Montessori School where the class was a mixed age class 6 year to 12 years and he was taught every day based on where he was. So math was maybe 3 years ahead where his reading and science was 4 years ahead.

Every year we met with the Curriculum Director of the public schools and they never had a plan. So he satyed in Montessori untill that topped out 5 years. Then we moved due to our younger son showin the same needs. We moved to a district that had a full time gifted program. It was OK, not perfect but it was with other highly gifted kids where most of the day was at an appropriate pace.

i agree that our school claims they differ. Reality is they rarely do, few teacher s know how and fewer want to. Differ, is not gifted. It does not meet their social and emotional needs even if it is done.

Ask them to show you how they do it? Ask to talk to a few parents of children that have been part of the program that are older. You will get a tap dance from your school, but no names is my bet.

Hi-

I still kind of a newbie on this board, but I thought hearing about our experiences might help too! My DD6 skipped Kindergarten last year and went straight into first. Halfway through she was skipped to second. She is now a 6 year old 3rd grader and still above grade level in everything except writing(grade level). She fits in socially, which is so important. But most importantly she LOVES being in third grade.
I know how scary it is even having to think about multiple grade skips, I was a basket case for the first 2 weeks of each skip. I thought my husband and I must be the worst parents in the world to even think about it, but ultimately we knew what was best for our daughter. She was assessed by the school psych and turns out she's PG (which I NEVER would have thought) with achievement scores to match.

I do have to say I prefer acceleration to differentiation when possible. I have seen how hard it is to accommodate both in class and by sending students out to other classes.
As others have said, each child, family, and situation is different and you must do what's best for you today and think about tomorrow tomorrow.

I hope this helps and good luck with your decision,

Laura

Thanks for all the encouraging posts and sorry I haven't replied sooner - I have been distracted with health issues with my younger son. My DH and I have the meeting on Thursday and I think that we are going to ask about the acceleration. Differentiation hasn't worked for us so far, so unless something changes it is not keeping DS challenged. From what we have been told he is advanced across all subjects so maybe acceleration will be the easier option. From a social point of view, DS6 doesn't have any close friends his age and although he gets on with the other children and is very kind to them etc he doesn't seem to have much in common with them and tends to find playtimes quite stressful. He has always preferred adult company, although him and DS4 play beautifully together all the time. I am hoping that maybe we can trial acceleration and see how that works out.

Thanks everyone for all the support, there is no-one DH and I can talk to about all this and I need to get myself prepared for Thursday's meeting.

XX

Hi everyone. We had our meeting yesterday and it went well (I think). As usual I sat trembling the whole way through (I always do this in meetings about DS6!), but fortunately the presence of DH managed to stop me chattering away aimlessly

The Head is going to meet with all of DS6's teachers and get back to us next week with their proposed solution. DH and I tried not to rule anything out, we would still be happy for him to stay in his yeargroup and have differentiation, but I don't think that this has worked to date.

I think that the school are unlikely to accelerate him more than one grade - personally I am not sure if there is any point doing this because of all the upheaval and I don't think that the work will be sufficiently challenging - they will still have to differentiate and then we are back to square one!

On the bright side the Head is very kind and supportive and understanding of our situation so we can't ask for more than that. We just want DS6 to be happy. Hopefully next week we will have a solution!

XX

I'm glad that the head at least seems supportive. Hopefully you will like one of the proposed solutions next week. Please keep us posted.

Sounds like they're listening, at least, which is good. Do keep us posted ...

On the accelerating more than one year, I think usually accelerations are done one year at a time anyway? Someone *please* correct me if I'm wrong, but getting them to agree to one acceleration seems like a huge step toward getting them to realize his unusual needs. Good luck!

I think most of the posts sum up my view. Differentiation is best. Accelerate them and they just figure all that work out too and are still waiting. But the problem is - as is posted - differentiation gets mostly face talk. It ends up being a work sheet or writing another page. It doesn't end up in all cases as truly challenging, exciting work. While acceleration isn't perfect either - at least it isn't a constant battle that I've found with the differentiation claim.

We skipped k. And decided against professional advice not to skip 2nd. Now I'm not sure we made the right choice. There is no perfect here. I've been off the board much of this year tryig to hide in the sand and wish "it" all away. They don't complain much so it was easy. But we are wasting their little minds and rotting their souls (can you tell I'm in a funk) and worst yet - to me - they are not headed to learning ANY kind of work ethic. Some day they'll want something - it will be hard - and they won't know how to meet a challenge. Where is the cholocate? I wish the new president had HG/PG kids in public school so we'd have turned a new page on this... UGGGGGG! Is anyone out there just feeling tired of this not being a simple, check the box and move on?

Actually, I don't think differentiation is best as a policy. It's the only form of adjustment for GT kids that can actually result in a GT kid being effectively HELD BACK: if the child has a teacher who is great at differentiation one year and one who does no differentiation at all the next year, it's just like being held back--possibly more than one grade, even!

Honestly, I can't think of a much worse situation for an HG+ child than to be held back and have to repeat material after being allowed to jump ahead.

I would always prefer anything that is codified and given the official seal of approval of the bureaucracy; those adaptations are much harder for anyone in the school to undo.

That's not to say that differentiation doesn't help a kid, and done well, it can absolutely be a lifesaver. But it would NOT be the policy I'd be asking to get implemented. I think it's a pretty high risk option that relies much too heavily on the support of individual teachers, with no real bureaucratic force behind it to see to it that it happens daily and it works and it keeps on working for that particular child through all of the years of school.

Just my $.02...

For most school districts who cannot group the GT kids in one class together with a motivated teacher and proper curriculum, acceleration is going to be the best compromise.

There are really two groups to work with here - your child AND the school, both of which may be averse at first.

Not much in life is cut and dried and with a bureaucracy and people averse to change and risk, the best approach is to rock soup your way into the final configuration. Use this as a principle to get there.

Ask for pull outs to 2+ grades for reading or math or science then keep adding pullouts until your child is there and there are no issues means one day after Christmas break, they just go to grade 2+.

Everything in life is negotiable. Everything. Unless someone is mentally unstable, you should be able to rationally discuss things with them by agreeing on general principles then working within that framework.

To be honest I am finding the whole thing rather overwhelming and I am even finding myself starting to feel annoyed with poor DS6! I know it is not his fault but why does this all have to be so hard. I am very nervous if they accelerate him as (a) I think that he will be just as bored if it is only by one year (b) He is a sensitive boy and doesn't take well to change.

But, I am also nervous if they decide not to as he is already starting to hate Maths (he doesn't want to be doing addition, he wants fractions, decimals etc). He is also doing spellings etc. which are way too easy and obviously the differentiation to date hasn't worked. If he does come across something challenging he has an absolute panic, my biggest fear for him is that if he isn't used to working through a challenging problem he will struggle later in life when presented with one. He is also so different when he is happy with his work at school, so much happier and peaceful - it has an impact on our whole family.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts everyone, it is great to have people to talk to.

XX

The issues can happen sooner than you think. DS8 is on 2digit-x2digit multiplication. He can do it conceptually just fine but is now on the standard algorithm. Well, it was spread over 2 lessons. The first lesson we did the 2nd week of December. then there was a long Christmas break and we're just now getting back to it. I just went to the 2nd lesson but quickly realized DS needed to back up so we did. So then we did the 2nd lesson again. DS got very frustrated with it. He told me "This is hard. I'm so used to always knowing everything." This has really shaken him to his core ... so much so that he doesn't want to do math at all. Now he is by no stretch of the imagination a mathy kid (well, compared to this board - compared to ND peers, he is a mathy kid) but his happiness always revolves around how he feels about math which is one of the reasons he absolutely hated school. He's HS'd now. He is also in the winter doldrums which doesn't help at all. We'll do some fun math logic puzzles, algebra stuff which he enjoys to restore his faith in himself. I told him this is his learning opportunity to learn to stick with it when it gets hard. Granted, he's upset b/c I've had to explain this TWICE. We did 3-4 math lessons/day (we use Rightstart) since August trying to catch up to where he was and he was really enjoying math at that pace. I think we've been stuck in multiplication too long and it's time to move on. He loves fractions so that will perk him up. Also, b/c math is his strong area, we were doing it at night when he's less fresh etc so I'll be moving math back to the AM.

My point is this: not being challenged can have repercussions long before Middle school or highschool depending on the kid's personality.

Oh and another thing....missing windows....over a year ago, DS had figured out the multiplication algorithm on his own. I didn't follow up with it as we were having issues in school w/ him being advanced already ..... I never would have foreseen him having an issue w/ it later. I often think that the brain is ready to learn certain things and if they get their own their own, we need to help get them the rest of the way....strike while the fire is hot.

I agree, Dazey.

Wow, Tiz, your DS6 seems like my DS6. Who is easily more than 2 years ahead of his agemates...but immature and SO SENSITIVE!

I am trying to work with our school to get him to show that he can do the work (he is pretty lazy when it comes to writing and.. http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/36175/1) and then hopefully get something less dull to do. We can't address the GT until they decide he isn't a behavior / LD problem. ugh.

I am also GT, and I remember how school was this place that I had to go everyday just because (except a few years in TX where the whole schools were ability differentiated into 12 bins!). I never needed to look at anything more than once or study or do homework at home...yadda yadda. And now, I wonder why I don't ever want to do anything that isn't super easy. This (and his potentially wasted ability) is my biggest fear for DS6.

Hi Mom of GT boys!
Welcome~

I believe that one can't address behavior/LD problems untill a child is given learning opportunities that fit his 'readiness level' which in your sons case means: GT.

Can you imagine a ND (normally developing) 5 year old in a Middleschool Classroom? Would he appear to have a behavior problem? You bet! Can you imagine a 12 year old in a Kindy classroom that was being treated by the teachers as though 'doing all the kindy work' was the only way for the 12 to grow up healthy and strong? Would the 12 year old seem 'off task' and 'in his own world' and 'disrespectful of athority' and 'class clown' and 'has his own agenda' and 'doesn't take criticism well' Oh Yes!

I'm not saying that you child isn't unusual - I'm sure he is: So measuring his 'maturity' against a normal yardstick isn't going to work.

Does he cry when something makes him sad? Oh he's immature.
Does he talk instead of hit? Oh he's mature
Does he worry about Global Warming? Oh, he's mature.
Does he dissagree with teacher when she does illogical things? Oh, he is immature.

And so on....I've had to accept that my own kid is on an 'Alternate Path of Development.'
I still want respectful, kind behavior out of him, but I also try not to leave him in situations that are more than he can handle, when possible. When he was two, DH and I still were bringing him out to resturants with us, but if he started to get loud, then one of us would take him to the car. Were we teaching him respect for other diners? Probably not, but since we wanted resturant food, and didn't want to leave him at home, we took responsibility on his behalf. DS is 12 now, and that doesn't happen anymore, but we are still trying to find the edge where he can be in situations where 'if he tries' then he can succede in behaving responsibly. Yes?

Grinty

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all your input and here is an update. My DH and I went to meet with the Head again today to see what had been decided. They had decided that a single grade skip would be futile and they would need to skip at least two, something they weren't keen to do and as you all know I was uneasy about it.

Well they have come up with the most fantastic timetable! DS is with age peers for Art, PE, Games, Music etc, but is having a different Maths, English and Science lesson (one-to-one)and they are also letting him have a lesson in another language. DH and I are so happy we can't believe it. The head said that DS is seen as a special needs kid - yay someone who gets it! They haven't ruled out skipping grades in the future, they just want to give this a try first. The teachers involved in the one-to-one are very keen and "want to help" DS so it is all looking very promising.

At the moment I feel like the weight of the world has been taken off my shoulders. I am so hopeful that this will work out and with such strong support from the head I don't see how this can fail!

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and advice - we couldn't have done it alone. I love this forum ...

XX

wow! That sounds like a dream come true. You will have to let us know how that turns out. I am thinking of asking for a similar plan for my son. I would love to know how it works.

Tiz,

This is the same sort of program that my DS6 is in. He goes from class to class like a middle schooler and he loves it! I was worried that the older kids would pick on him, but he seems to inspire a protective nature in the older kids. They all look out for him. We are looking at a multi grade skip for next year, 3rd instead of 1st but he doesn't spend any time in those grades now so I don't think it will be an issue. This year has given us great peace of mind in that we know he can handle himself in groups of older kids. I don't think I would have felt good about him going straight to 1st this year without a clue as to how it would work out. This way he is full time differentiated, taking classes that he normally wouldn't even have access to for another few years. All of his teachers report on his great attitude and love for learning.

I hope it works out for you as it has for us, because in the end we all just want our kids happy!

Excellent Shari, pleased to hear that it is working so well for you. The first two days have been great for us and he is so much happier when he is challenged at school!

xx

i love to hear about happy kids! enjoy!

Great news, Tiz.

I somehow missed this post, Grinity. Thanks, and I think you are right. DS seems pretty akin to the other DS6 on this board, but his asynchronous development is difficult on teachers and ND kids' parents.