Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy My dilemma that dragged me out of hiding!

Wow, Tiz, your DS6 seems like my DS6. Who is easily more than 2 years ahead of his agemates...but immature and SO SENSITIVE!

I am trying to work with our school to get him to show that he can do the work (he is pretty lazy when it comes to writing and.. http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/36175/1) and then hopefully get something less dull to do. We can't address the GT until they decide he isn't a behavior / LD problem. ugh.

I am also GT, and I remember how school was this place that I had to go everyday just because (except a few years in TX where the whole schools were ability differentiated into 12 bins!). I never needed to look at anything more than once or study or do homework at home...yadda yadda. And now, I wonder why I don't ever want to do anything that isn't super easy. This (and his potentially wasted ability) is my biggest fear for DS6.

Hi Mom of GT boys!
Welcome~

I believe that one can't address behavior/LD problems untill a child is given learning opportunities that fit his 'readiness level' which in your sons case means: GT.

Can you imagine a ND (normally developing) 5 year old in a Middleschool Classroom? Would he appear to have a behavior problem? You bet! Can you imagine a 12 year old in a Kindy classroom that was being treated by the teachers as though 'doing all the kindy work' was the only way for the 12 to grow up healthy and strong? Would the 12 year old seem 'off task' and 'in his own world' and 'disrespectful of athority' and 'class clown' and 'has his own agenda' and 'doesn't take criticism well' Oh Yes!

I'm not saying that you child isn't unusual - I'm sure he is: So measuring his 'maturity' against a normal yardstick isn't going to work.

Does he cry when something makes him sad? Oh he's immature.
Does he talk instead of hit? Oh he's mature
Does he worry about Global Warming? Oh, he's mature.
Does he dissagree with teacher when she does illogical things? Oh, he is immature.

And so on....I've had to accept that my own kid is on an 'Alternate Path of Development.'
I still want respectful, kind behavior out of him, but I also try not to leave him in situations that are more than he can handle, when possible. When he was two, DH and I still were bringing him out to resturants with us, but if he started to get loud, then one of us would take him to the car. Were we teaching him respect for other diners? Probably not, but since we wanted resturant food, and didn't want to leave him at home, we took responsibility on his behalf. DS is 12 now, and that doesn't happen anymore, but we are still trying to find the edge where he can be in situations where 'if he tries' then he can succede in behaving responsibly. Yes?

Grinty

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all your input and here is an update. My DH and I went to meet with the Head again today to see what had been decided. They had decided that a single grade skip would be futile and they would need to skip at least two, something they weren't keen to do and as you all know I was uneasy about it.

Well they have come up with the most fantastic timetable! DS is with age peers for Art, PE, Games, Music etc, but is having a different Maths, English and Science lesson (one-to-one)and they are also letting him have a lesson in another language. DH and I are so happy we can't believe it. The head said that DS is seen as a special needs kid - yay someone who gets it! They haven't ruled out skipping grades in the future, they just want to give this a try first. The teachers involved in the one-to-one are very keen and "want to help" DS so it is all looking very promising.

At the moment I feel like the weight of the world has been taken off my shoulders. I am so hopeful that this will work out and with such strong support from the head I don't see how this can fail!

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and advice - we couldn't have done it alone. I love this forum ...

XX

wow! That sounds like a dream come true. You will have to let us know how that turns out. I am thinking of asking for a similar plan for my son. I would love to know how it works.

Tiz,

This is the same sort of program that my DS6 is in. He goes from class to class like a middle schooler and he loves it! I was worried that the older kids would pick on him, but he seems to inspire a protective nature in the older kids. They all look out for him. We are looking at a multi grade skip for next year, 3rd instead of 1st but he doesn't spend any time in those grades now so I don't think it will be an issue. This year has given us great peace of mind in that we know he can handle himself in groups of older kids. I don't think I would have felt good about him going straight to 1st this year without a clue as to how it would work out. This way he is full time differentiated, taking classes that he normally wouldn't even have access to for another few years. All of his teachers report on his great attitude and love for learning.

I hope it works out for you as it has for us, because in the end we all just want our kids happy!

Excellent Shari, pleased to hear that it is working so well for you. The first two days have been great for us and he is so much happier when he is challenged at school!

xx

i love to hear about happy kids! enjoy!

Great news, Tiz.

I somehow missed this post, Grinity. Thanks, and I think you are right. DS seems pretty akin to the other DS6 on this board, but his asynchronous development is difficult on teachers and ND kids' parents.