Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy My dilemma that dragged me out of hiding!

Last year DS6�s teacher recommended that we get him tested as he was �on a different plane�. DH and I thought that he was bright, but then he was our first child and just what we were used to. The result was that he is gifted and it took a long while to get our heads around this.

He recently started a new school where they said that they could cater for him, but unfortunately so far it is not quite going to plan. Before they started the option was to accelerate him (which we were told would need to be by at least 2 years to have any impact) or to leave him at his grade level and do a special curriculum for him. We all decided best to leave him at Grade level. We are now well into school year and DS6 is telling us he is just getting �baby� work and it is all too easy. I have given teachers examples of previous work, but the only subject he is getting differentiated work in is Maths and even that is not challenging enough. DS says it makes him feel as if he has �no brain�.

DH and I are going to try to resolve this next week. I suggested that DS request harder work from one of the subject teachers if he wants it, which he did but the response that he got was �I am only one teacher and can�t split myself in half�. It is the first time DS has actually asked for something himself and unfortunately the response was not positive.

So yes, let me get to the point � in your experiences what is the best solution � pushing for a differentiated curriculum or just asking for the acceleration? The problem is that he is good at all the subjects so everything would need to be extended for him � is that unreasonable? To me the acceleration seems to be an easy opt-out, does anyone have experience of a 2 year acceleration? Any advice / suggestions welcome...

In our situation, we spent K-3 waiting for the school to get it together with differentiated curriculum. We even changed schools in the hopes of seeing it come about. In our case it did not. We are currently waiting to see if we get approval for a partial day because my daughter isn't "ahead" in writing and comprehending inferences and with her aspergers would benefit from some time with children closer to her age. We homeschool to meet her needs. At our recent IEP meeting the school has come out and said that they can't accomodate her needs appropriately.

I think you would really need to look at the school and see what they have successfully done with other students and talk to other parents that have kids in the GT range if you can. When we finally got test results and understood that our daughter was in fact GT I contacted a now defunked parents group that I found on our states dept. of education website. Once I did that our decisions became easier when we realized what other parents had tried to do with the school and their results. I would have done things differently had I had both sets of information a few years ago.

Best wishes with your decision. We were just there when the school was offering to move my DD up by a minimum of one year and maybe two like you are discussing. It is a hard one, for us I just couldn't see her in the middle school with the social problems of aspergers. That is not the case in your situation and like Dottie has said it does work for many kids. I still wonder if we are going the right route, but now I'm back to second guessing myself. Please stay out of hiding, it is always nice to share ideas with parents who have been in similar situations. Could your DS visit the classroom he would be moving into?

I loved radical acceleration. I was accelerated 3 years both times in two different districts - from 1st into 4th and from 7th to 10th. If its a good school and he is treated like any other kid, he will thrive. The first time, I felt really small and recall crying a bit, but was fine the next day. The second time I was just glad to be challenged.

I also had a smaller acceleration in between and for that I was moved into one class for reading and then another for math and then I got to pick which class I stayed with and they moved me at the middle of the year.

So, wht you might do is have him go up to 4th grade (??) for reading period to see if he likes it then add in the other subjects until he is fully integrated.

Writing was a big issue for me - I have never had to take notes before - but that was worked through. My much older classmates took me for what I was.

If he is not accelerated, then he will learn to sneak books into class and pass the time teaching himself.

Even when I was accelerated, I did this anyway. Be prepared for it. Just because its more advanced material, he may "know" it in a minute then be bored again - I was not truly challenged until I got into AP-level classes.

Interesting how the 'higher ups' assure one that differentiation inside the classroom can work, but the teachers who have to do the work have a very different view. I think that the teacher answered your question about the limits of in class differentiation, and explains why subject and full grade accelerations - with all their very real downsides - are so popular.

Perhaps you can keep you child with agemates for specials and Gym and go with +2 for the academic subjects? For some kids this 'dual citizenship' makes them feel like a million bucks, while other kids just want to 'get their fake passport and blend in at any cost.' Try to do a trial of some kind and expect to modify from there. I'm just very thankful that the school is willing to be flexable for you!

Thanks so much for all the input - I am going to get the IOWA accleration manual and have a look at that. It is also good to hear some positive stories about acceleration and that it has worked for some families (I have only come across the negative side of acceleration to date). The only thing that my DS6 likes about school is the work, so if that isn't challenging enough he will get disillusioned quickly! Unfortunately he is a very reserved boy and not one to kick up a fuss or ask for anything - he just conforms and then comes home upset.

I like the ideas about the gradual integration and trials with the +2 class if they are unable to differentiate his work further. DH and I are meeting with the Head next week and these will be good discussion points. I do however think that they may say that they are concerned how he will cope with sports with the older boys and also how he will cope from a social point of view (which are legitimate concerns)- have any of you had to deal with these points?

Why do I feel like I am constantly in a dark room trying to find the light switch?! Who's hiding it?!

I agree with Grin, for my DS, Kindergarten consists of recess, lunch and show and tell. The rest of the day he is moving from one class to another. He has 5 teachers every day and is allowed to participate in classes such as Science and Computer Science that kids don't normally get until 3rd grade. He loves it!

Hi & welcome! I also have a DS6, he skipped 1st into 2nd this year.

It hasn't been totally smooth socially but he has adjusted & made some friends. Academically, it was definitely a good move for him. He's pretty social so while we agonized over him being even younger, we were also worried he'd start acting up more when bored.

They change classes for math so they're more with kids at their level. It doesn't totally solve the problem but helps. Our school has several pull out learning teachers & he meets w/his read teacher 2x a week. She gives him projects & works on higher level reading assignments with him.

I don't know if you have any of those options but wanted to share a hopefully successful grade skip/diff. combo. I love your light line - that's so true. We're still wandering around but if you have any questions about the skip, I'd be happy to share how it went for us.

we had the same situation with our oldest a few years back. the school woul dskip him 2 years or he had to sit in the class and get diff.work. After two weeks he got nothing except worksheets to do at home. The third week they told us, they all will catch up eventualy to him. He was 7 with a 5 year intellectual lead on the others.

we switched schools since a 2 year acceleration was a bit scarier. we put him in a rigorous Montessori School where the class was a mixed age class 6 year to 12 years and he was taught every day based on where he was. So math was maybe 3 years ahead where his reading and science was 4 years ahead.

Every year we met with the Curriculum Director of the public schools and they never had a plan. So he satyed in Montessori untill that topped out 5 years. Then we moved due to our younger son showin the same needs. We moved to a district that had a full time gifted program. It was OK, not perfect but it was with other highly gifted kids where most of the day was at an appropriate pace.

i agree that our school claims they differ. Reality is they rarely do, few teacher s know how and fewer want to. Differ, is not gifted. It does not meet their social and emotional needs even if it is done.

Ask them to show you how they do it? Ask to talk to a few parents of children that have been part of the program that are older. You will get a tap dance from your school, but no names is my bet.

Hi-

I still kind of a newbie on this board, but I thought hearing about our experiences might help too! My DD6 skipped Kindergarten last year and went straight into first. Halfway through she was skipped to second. She is now a 6 year old 3rd grader and still above grade level in everything except writing(grade level). She fits in socially, which is so important. But most importantly she LOVES being in third grade.
I know how scary it is even having to think about multiple grade skips, I was a basket case for the first 2 weeks of each skip. I thought my husband and I must be the worst parents in the world to even think about it, but ultimately we knew what was best for our daughter. She was assessed by the school psych and turns out she's PG (which I NEVER would have thought) with achievement scores to match.

I do have to say I prefer acceleration to differentiation when possible. I have seen how hard it is to accommodate both in class and by sending students out to other classes.
As others have said, each child, family, and situation is different and you must do what's best for you today and think about tomorrow tomorrow.

I hope this helps and good luck with your decision,

Laura