I've been lurking here for a couple of weeks, trying to get the lay of the land. I think I'm finally ready to make a comment. Namely: Help!

My DS4.0 has a strong interest in numbers. Except for me and DW, however, he seems to hide this interest from most people. He made it through an entire year of pre-school last year, for instance, without managing to let either of his teachers know that he could add and subtract. They considered him good at math because he could count objects quicker than the other three-year-olds. Lately he has turned his focus to multiplication. I am concerned.

There are two aspects to my concern. First, I want it to seem ok to him that he has this interest in numbers. Another great interest of his is baseball, and he has no problem whatsoever sharing that interest with his teachers and friends. We live in a baseball-obsessed region of the US, and he gets lots of positive feedback for his athletic ability. But he seems already to have learned the lesson that his interest in numbers isn't going to earn him very many social points. Any tricks for dealing with that?

Second, I want to know better how to help him explore his interest in math. Part of the problem is, frankly, that he's barely 4. He doesn't write very well, he doesn't read particularly well (or at least he says he doesn't), and almost all of the math he does goes on in his head. Dinner table conversation consists in out-of-the-blue snippets like, "Daddy, when you were 28 mommy was 23." I have no idea what he's thinking when he says things like that, but he almost always gets them right.

I like that the whole thing happens in his head. It makes it all seem more playful and fun - which I think it is for him. But it's a lot of work to explain things well without writing them down. Most of the skip-count sequences that he knows, for instance, have songs that go along with them. But we had to make up the songs. That's a lot of work. When he asked me how to multiply by 9 recently I resisted, since I couldn't think of a good song to use. And there are lots of other things he doesn't know anything about because I suspect you'd have to write them down to explain them - like carrying and borrowing. It's one thing to play fun math games with my four year old, but it seems like quite another to sit down and actually give him a lesson. Even if he asks. (Does he really want the full explanation?) Isn't that the horrible thing everyone calls hothousing?

Well, you can see I'm ambivalent about this whole thing, and I really don't know how to think about it. Any comments on any of it would be really helpful.

Thanks,

BBdad

It is only hothousing if you are forcing your child to do the work before he/she is ready for it. It looks to me like you are only following his lead. That is called good parenting

First, welcome!

It is definitely okay that your child has an early interest in numbers. Rest assured that this is perfectly normal for a GT child. The sensitivity to feedback and social norms is also common among GT kids, albeit a more disconcerting trait. Supporting this interest wholeheartedly and putting your child in situations where it's good to like numbers and good to be smart can help. This may mean finding GT support groups or even just having your child spend more time with older kids. Whatever works.

As for hothousing...If you're following your child's interests, you are NOT hothousing! Hothousing is parent-driven, pushy, stage-mom or -dad "you must achieve or else I won't love you!" sorts of behavior. You're clearly not doing that. Going with your child where he takes you is just good parenting. GT kids need to learn like they need to breathe. They HAVE to do it. It's part of who they are. Support that. Don't push, but go where they want to go with it.

For 9s, there are lots of tricks to use--write down for him 0-9, then write 9-0 in reverse order and show him that 1 x 9 = 09, 2 x 9 = 18, etc. He'll probably love that! There's a way to do this on one's fingers and knuckles, too, but I don't know it off the top of my head.

One thought: if you are ambivalent, he will pick up on that. If you think it's cool that he's into math, he will be more likely to stick with it.

You're in a good place.

Show your son the finger trick for multiplying by nine, I bet he'll love it.
Feed his love of baseball & math by tracking stats on players, and how they're calculated.

Welcome.

If you are worried about hothousing, then chances are that you are not! If someone saw our DS's room which has a number line from -20 to 100 and a multiplication table posted they'd probably think we're hosthousing too. But it's just one of the boy's interest. He loves numbers and patterns so that's just him! Sounds like you also have a mathy guy that wants to learn.

We started at the dinner table too. Some of the things that we've done:

• I would just write things out on paper to explain it because frankly it is a lot easier to write out some concepts. Later when DS's handwriting got better, he'd also contribute.
• Use block cubes. So many things that you can do with them from place values, to fractions, to multiplication, etc. "So, why do we call three cubed a cube?" Great "hands on"
• Books like G is for Googol, big number book (forget the title), and so on.
• We made up a fingers game where we use sign language (you can sign numbers 1 through 10 on one hand). The idea was that I'd create a number in on hand and a number in the other hand and DS would tell me which was greater. Sounds easy until you add in hand gestures for basic and advanced math operations, negative numbers, etc...

So I think you keep talking to him and answer all the (many!) questions he'll have about math. We kept it all play-based and let DS drive it based on his interest.

Good luck.

JB

Thanks for the feedback, and especially for the welcome. I do feel like I'm pulling my hair out, and it's good to have some support.

I think Kriston's comment about his picking up on ambivalence is important. I try hard to express equal enthusiasm when he hits the ball and when he discovers some new math fact; DW does too. Indeed, I think we both genuinely feel equally enthusiastic about these. But I think DS has learned that not everyone treats these skills equally. And frankly, the broader environment affects us too: I myself find it hard to talk about math with DS, for instance, when others are around. People just look at us funny. Does anyone else have this problem?

By the way, I discovered the finger trick for nines myself just this morning; I can't wait to show it to him!

BBDad

Well, if he were asking for broccoli when all the kids were asking for cupcakes, would you deny him the broccoli?

If he's asking, go where he takes you. My son wanted this HUGE 100s chart on his wall. I was afraid of what friends would say. I let him put it behind the door so you couldn't really see it w/ the door closed. Ha Ha Ha.

I also tend to de-school the house when friends come over. I got busted a couple of months ago w/ "Re-forming Gifted Education" left out on the couch when a friend came over. It turned out great b/c her son's preK teacher had just told her that in 30yrs of teaching, she had never met a kid as gifted as her son, so she had lots of questions for me which I was happy to answer.

Regarding the math, you can write it down for him. I think alot of math at this age though should be mental math. I use Singapore Math and Rightstart Math to teach it b/c frankly, I learned by rote. Now I'm much more proficient w/ my mental math and the boys have learned it from the beginning.

for ex:
58+13=58+10+3=68+3=68+2+1=70+1=70. I know it seems long compared to carry/borrow, but the kids get fast very quickly and intuitively begin to make the 10s and trade. Same with subtraction. My just turned 5yr old will do 54-8 by 54-4-4=50-4=46 or 16-9 as 1 gets to 10, 6 gets to 16, so 16-9 is 1+6=7.100-46 is 4 gets me to 50, then 60,70,80,90, 100 so 54. Later we'll get to 16-9=17-10...it's based on 5s and 10s.

I LOVE the Rightstart Abacus for demonstrating the above strategies especially for 4yr olds. It's different from the usual abacus in that each rung is broken into 5 blue and 5 yellow beads. So kids quickly see 8+5 as 5+5+3 and very quickly are able to transpose numbers and turn them around etc. My boys are quicker at mental math than I am.

Ok probably more than you wanted to know lol

Dazey

Oh, yes! It's why we're all here!

At a Kindermusik class with DS7 when he was around 13mos old, he IDd the letter "B" on a wood block. Quietly, just to DS, not trying to have anyone but DS hear, I confirmed that, yes, it was indeed a "B," just like I did with him 101 times per day because he had been obsessed with a letter puzzle for weeks. One mom overheard me and she exploded with a "He did NOT just say that! That's ridiculous!" The other moms and the teacher stopped everything to tell me that he did not know the letter B yet. They were adamant and not at all nice about it. It was like I was a bad mom for some reason. I still don't really understand the vehemence of their attack on me. At the time, I just had the deer-in-the-headlights thing going on. He most certainly did know the letter B! But I realized very fast that they would not allow me to defend myself, nor was it worth it to try.

It was my first inkling that not everyone was going to "get" my child, and that I'd better take my support where I could find it!

What in the world did the parents of GT kids do before the Internet? I can't imagine!

I think what you're feeling is normal...at least I felt that way. I would cringe when DS would be reading the signs at the zoo when he was 4. Or when he was 20months at the library, he yelled out (w/ 6 other moms standing there) "Look mom a trapezoid!" You should have seen the heads whip around. It does make me uncomfortable. And when all the parents remark how advanced the curriculum is in this district and your son is screaming b/c it's all to easy.....

A friend asked why DS dislikes school so much and I almost went into and decided against it. I left it at "There is a difference in philosophy."

Good answer, Dazey.

I tend to say things like, "It is a very good school system for some kids. Just not for my child. All kids are different." That seems to defuse the situation somewhat.

LOL... conversation at my house yesterday...

DS5 (to DS2) "What shape is this?"
DS2 "Parallelogram"
DS5 "NO! It's a parallelogram prism!"

You're in good company BBDad!

JB

LOL JB!!!

The other day I called some shape something (memory is foggy) and DS5 said "No mom, it's a rhombus." and he was right. Ain't it fun?

Welcome to the club

Show your son what he wants to. He will let you know when he had enough. We too do lots of dinner math. It got to the point when our younger one, 3 at that time, willingly finished his dinner so he could do math problems!

If you are looking for math workbooks, I suggest Singapore. We sort of used it as a general guide and will use it next year for homeschooling.

We too have lots of dreaded moments. When our older one was 4 he used to welcome people with a chapter book in his hands and then proceeded to read them a few pages. Oops. It was kind of awkward, but part of me did enjoy it

It got even better when he started playing geography games with adults (still at the age of 4). That one I didn't mind, the adults might have because he was by far the best.

I no longer worry about answering questions when we are out of the house. I used to but you cannot really hide it forever. If we are with people we know then chances are really good they've already figured out that DS5 is gt or they will really soon. I was surprised how many appropriate birthday presents the boys got last year. People really know even if they don't talk about it.

If we are among strangers then we speak different language (the kids are bilingual). I cannot describe the freedom it gives you Very handful not only with the gt questions but especially in the tough parenting situations Isa, Ania do you do the same thing?

This is all very reassuring - thanks! I can't tell you how difficult it is emotionally to deal with this, though I imagine everyone else here has already been through it. Recently, when we were on a family vacation, I saw a first-grade math workbook at a bookstore. My immediate thought was that DS would love it! But then I realized how awful it would be to bring it home. DS's grandparents were with us, and the thought of doing a math workbook with our then 3-year-old on vacation would have elicited looks of horror from them. In the end I bought the workbook, spirited it into the house, and let DS play with it for a full hour before the grandparents were awake. Then I hid it away again. Ugh. This does not seem healthy.

BBDad

I agree. It HAS to be okay for him to be who he is. I think it's okay for a child to understand that "showing off" is not okay, but shoot! Around the grandparents, you really must be able to follow the child's lead! You'd think they'd be proud of the kid for being so self-motivated to learn!

It might be time for a talk with them...

Have you done any reading on GT kids? That might help you to deal better with others.

Well, Kriston, I've done as much reading as I can. I'm slowly coming up to speed, but there's a lot of literature. As far as I can tell, the grandparents on one side are of the "it all evens out by third grade anyway" mindset, and on the other side they are the "you want your son to be able to fit in" types. In both cases there's a dash of "let him be a child, for heaven's sake!" thrown in. The funny thing is that these are all people who are very educated and who really value education. But although they will watch him play baseball for hours, they subtly tune out if he wants to talk about numbers. Strange.

Maybe they're the ones who need to be doing the reading, eh?

That's really, really hard. Fear of GTness is really prevalent, especially in that generation. Sad, but true.

I think all you can do is to keep talking to them. Keep encouraging them to accept him--embrace him!--for all that he is. You're a good dad to be on top of this!

hugs BaseballDad! That's tough. It's nice having the inlaws to tell all the accomplishments of the grandkids...made easier since there are no other grandkids.

I think it is a kind of fear, Kriston. I'm not sure where it comes from - I wonder if it's a largely American phenomenon? But it is hard, because this seems such a special feature of DS, and it would be great to be able to share it proudly. I used to tell them about all his accomplishments, but I don't talk about the math things anymore.

AAAACCCCKKKK, I love hearing the accomplishments of my GC! I love to see their eyes light up telling me about what they've learned, or listening to them read to me, etc. I'm sorry it's tough for some of you who don't have supportive (grand)parents.

Maybe you just have to plow through it with them, whether they like it or not? This is their grandchild, this is who he is. Stressing the friendships he has--the ways he fits in--even as you also talk about his love of math might help, maybe?

FWIW, I know you're not alone in this. I've talked with others here on the forum who have the same problem with the grandparents. It really is common.

I think fitting in is a real and primary goal for some people. Personally, I think that's dumb. It's not a goal I ever shared, so I can't say much about it. I just always figured that I am who I am--for better or worse--and I feel the same way about my kids. Be nice, be friendly, try to make people feel happy instead of unhappy, but be who you are. If nothing else it's a timesaver for friendships if you lay it all out to people. (But then people tend to either love me or hate me, no in-between...)

I guess I think you have to decide what messages you want to telegraph to your child, how you are going to want him to feel about himself. Then you surround him with people and ideas that support that approach. And that goes for grandparents, too. They need to get on the train or get off the tracks!

But what do I know... I'm just babbling. Maybe something here is not a total waste of time for you?

I hope you'll find that here people delight at your shared proud moments. I can't share with me extended family either. I rarely do with close friends either, I never want it to approach a "competition"
This is a good place to cheer your child......
I'll start:

Hooray Baseballdad DS! You are such an amazing intellegent lovely child! Getting to hear about the unique way you think is a joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get on the train or get off the tracks!!!

I would love to say that out loud to some of my family members!

Unfortunately, they are off the tracks by proxy in a way. They don't get as much info and don't "know" the girls as well.

Kind of sad

I second that! I always think of these kids as "our kids," and I definitely celebrate them.

Heck, I have always celebrated all the kids I meet, GT or no. I think kids are cool!

Thanks to everyone for their support and nice comments. I've just finished half an hour of computer games with DS, and he agreed to take a bath only if we could do more tomorrow. He gets so excited about it, his eyes light up, and it makes it all worth while. [He's just this moment come in to tell me that he weighs 36.6 pounds.] I feel energized to give him these opportunities no matter what. Thanks again.

BBDad

So sweet...........
thanks for sharing.

BBDad, best thing I've purchased in the last year: bathtub crayons. The math we've done (BEGGED for by DS) in the tub... it's been amazing.

JB

BBDad-

My family homeschools and I finally gave in and purchased academic workbooks for my daughter when she was two and was begging for them. She saw her big brothers working and she wanted to be like them. She started with a simple phonics workbook (she was reading independently) and the Singapore math earlybird series. She ZOOMED through the first two singapore books but got stuck when her writing skills (and perfectionism) were not enough for her to do all the writing expected in the two higher level earlybird books. The first two books only require drawing connecting lines, circling, etc. The second two want kids ot actually write legible numbers and letters, and though my dd was writing a bit (like her name) at 2.5, she wasn't satisfied with her writing in the math books. We took a break of 6-8 months or more, and then she was fine going back to them. You can look up the very reasonably priced books here: www.singaporemath.com

I also have a handy list of cool math "stories" here:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art33626.asp
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28465.asp

hth! Welcome to the board.

If you want curriculum, RightStart Math is great for 3-4yr olds b/c level A doesn't require much writing.

BB Dad:

A couple of more simple teaching aids: there is a good site someone on a forum showed me recently for manipulatives (search for eai education.com), also check out the National Library of Virtual Manipulatives online (though we tend to limit our use of the computer and work in four dimensions as much as possible).

Also, the website Enchanted Learning, for a $20 annual subscription, lets you print out individual pages of problems at all different levels and topics. I'm just getting into this with my DS6 and finding it to be a rich resource (though it does not offer you a teaching system, as, say, Singapore math does).

My son is not as precocious as some described here, but I try to do as much as possible with him in chats and dialog, talking about the world around us, using fingers, and going to paper and pencil only after he has the idea. Keeping a light touch and feeding his interest are key. DS6 drives the pace.

Apropos songs, try looking for the School-house Rock dvd. I'm ambivalent about some of the content, but my son loves the math songs, and they helped him master his multiplication tables within a week or two (something I still haven't managed).

The social issues are hard; as someone said earlier, this is why we're here. I've also been chastised by my mother for 'pushing' my DS. As a result, partly, we put math on the back burner for a whole year, and now realize that this was counter-productive, to say the least. The best advice I've seen, and I've received it from several sources, is to listen closely to your child, and to trust your own heart and instincts.

Thanks to everyone for the great suggestions - both about resources and about strategies for coping. As it happens, a lot of this began with the Schoolhouse Rock video that Fitzi mentions. DW and I had watched those little pieces as children and were delighted to discover, shortly after DS was born, that they were available on DVD. Practically before he could talk DS knew how to count by 3s because of the song "Three is a magic number". He absolutely loved it. Who knows whether he loved the song because of the numbers or he loves numbers because of the song, but in any case there's no going back now. Finally, yesterday, I broke down and printed out a multiplication chart for him; we had to take it away from him so he could focus on eating his dinner.

I do have a quick and happy update. DW and I met with the director of DS's school this morning, and he is being very sensible about the whole thing. He said explicitly that he wants DS to feel comfortable with his interests, and he wants to provide an environment in which they can flourish. The new teacher will plan to watch him carefully for the first month or so to get a sense for what kinds of things he is interested in, and then try to work with him in those areas. He did say that he thinks it's important not to allow him to get "ghetto-ized" - to become interested only in numbers and nothing else - but that seems quite sensible to me. We'll see how it all works in practice, but I'm hopeful.

BBDad

Yup. We have lists of Fibonacci numbers, Lucas numbers, factorials, happy numbers, ..., you have to practically tear it out of their little hands...

Glad to hear things are going well.

JB

This makes me a wee bit nervous because of our experience with statements like this.

DS7 was obsessed with cars and all wheeled vehicles in pre-K. They were his whole world. His teacher allowed it for a while, but at some point she decided that he was too focused on his own interests. She removed ALL wheeled things from the classroom. All of them!

I'm not sure what she thought would happen--he'd suddenly not be obsessed? But his reaction was just what I would have predicted: he took blocks and build cars out of them, using the cylinder for an axle. Take that, pre-K teacher!

The fact is, if these obsessive-style HG+ kids are on something, they're ON IT! There's no way to dissuade them from it. You can--and should!--expose them to other things, other topics, of course. But you also have to accept that this is your little guy's thing, and it will remain his thing...usually right up until you have spent a fortune on birthday gifts for him centered solely on his obsession. That week, he'll get over it and be onto something totally different, but equally obsessive. (And that's only funny because it's true!)

My warning: I'd be a little wary of the school because of the "ghetto-izing" comment. They will not be able to dissuade him from his obsession without making him feel bad about himself. I can almost guarantee it! But if he's allowed to have his love without being shamed or refused, it will eventually run its course.

...Not to rain on your parade, but I wish I'd been warned when I was where you are.

I've actually never heard that term: "ghetto-izing". I admit it didn't garner a positive reaction.
I wasn't going to say anything but since Kriston piped in......

I hope this fall is a dream school experience for your son and it absolutely can be.

I would just keep your eye out for glitches. If things are not going well sometimes the child's behavior will change and that's a good reason to start looking into things.

DD6 had a very bad year in K. The teacher told me everything I wanted to hear but didn't do anything she said she would and I couldn't pin her down on it until after winter break.
That was a lot of wasted time in my opinion, it didn't have to be that way.
Additionally, she will swear to this day that DD loved kindergarten and was always happy. She literally had sunshine blowing out her butt when she told me all about how everything was perfect.
However, DD came home from school withdrawn, sullen, sometimes crying, sometimes saying she was stupid.
On the off chance it was just a transition issue, I peeked throught the window sporadically. Sure enough I saw her on several occasions sitting by herself in the back of the room with a VERY sad look on her face. But it wasn't until nearer to the end of the year that I figured this stuff out.
I like to take people at their word and had no reason to think she would either lie or be so clueless about the situation.
ON the other hand DD8's second grade teacher did everything she promised. There were a few bumpy moments, but all in all, she had a better year than I could have ever expected.

Just pay attention to what's going on and gauge your child's most common mood after school and also before school. It they are always upset about the prospect of going to school in the morning, it's worth looking into.

It's funny - as I was writing that sentence about "ghetto-ization" I wondered if anyone would get worried about it. I can completely see your concern, Kriston. If keeping him out of the "ghetto" meant stripping him of all access to his interests that would be a disaster. For purely contingent reasons, though, I'm a bit less worried about it in our particular case. They could, of course, refuse to let him do any interesting kind of math at school - that would be bad. But since DS has always had this second obsession - baseball - I think he's less likely to come off as at risk of narrow-mindedness. The happy side of his baseball obsession is that it puts a certain kind of adult more at ease around him. (If they had any idea the amount of time he devotes to these two obsessions, though - baseball and numbers - well, they would certainly become worried again.) In any case, it remains to be seen how the whole thing will work out. I'm hopeful, but stand at the ready...

BBDad

P.S. - I had to remind myself what happy numbers are, JB. Pretty cool...

Well I guess if YOU are using the term to describe the conversation..........it's less concerning than if the director actually used that term in conjuction with describing a child's learning environment.

I don't think anyone is worried about it.....

I agree completely. It's so hard because we never know when a school is telling us what we want to hear and when they're going to live up to what they promise until we're in the thick of it.

So hard!

And BTW, the example I gave wasn't even our big-time bait and switch example from a pre-K... A second school sold us a serious line and then delivered on none of it for half the year, until DH and I overcame our phobia of making waves and became "those parents." It was very disappointing.

They can promise you the moon, but it's whether they deliver or not that matters. And they say very little that can tip you off, so you really do have to read between the lines carefully. So I think that anyone dissuading your son from pursuing his interests is probably someone to watch out for. It means they don't *get* him, and finding someone who *gets* your GT child is really 3/4 of the battle!

Incogneato -

I'm slow at composing these things, and we cross-posted. I certainly agree, though, that a lot will depend on how the thing gets implemented; there's plenty of room for its not working out. We'll keep our fingers crossed, but so far at least people seem to be approaching it with a lot of good will. That may not be sufficient, but it's better to have it than not.

BB

Busy thread! I obviously crossposted, too.

As long as you're on top of it and not practicing wishful thinking--not that you would, just that I have in the past!!! --then it should be fine.

Good will is a start. If the teacher gets him, that's the key though. The teacher in the room! All else is really just noise.

It is a lot. You are definately starting off on the right foot with the school and I am wishing you much look.

Look forward to hearing some success stories!!!!!

Oops. Cross-posted again.

To be clear: "ghetto-ized" was the term the Director used; it wasn't my description of the conversation. It's not a nice term, I agree. But English is not his first language, and I didn't hold it against him. I believe he was trying to describe the danger of becoming a narrow-minded individual. As I see it, this kind of narrow-mindedness is different from simply having incredible talent in a given domain. And it's different, too, from the kind of serial obsession that Kriston was describing. Either of these is perfectly compatible with being broad-minded in the good sense of the phrase. I myself know a number of great mathematicians who have very broad interests, and I know one or two who are rather narrow-minded. I prefer the former to the latter by a lot. Still, I agree that it is very difficult to know what people will actually do from their description of their intentions. It's better than it might have been, but I'll be much happier when I see that it's worked out.

BB

Agreed! I'm hoping it's a great match-up!

Can someone explain the term "ghetto-ized" to me? I'm not getting the connection with "ghetto" and being obsessed with something.

I would love to. Here is the definition I found:

Main Entry: ghet�to�ize
Pronunciation: \ˈge-tō-ˌīz\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): ghet�to�ized; ghet�to�iz�ing
Date: 1939
: to isolate in or as if in a ghetto
� ghet�to�i�za�tion \ˌge-tō-ə-ˈzā-shən\ noun

I really don't like the implication of this when a school administrator says it to a parent, KWIM.

But of course, BBDad has good instincts and doesn't think it's anything nefarious, so I'll personally let it slide this time!

This was the initial post--meaning compartmentalizing, overspecializing.

Yes, I was uncomfortable w/ the term and wanted to make sure I understood the meaning as it was intended.

I appreciate the endorsement, though it's not at all obvious how good my instincts are. Still, in this context I'm pretty strongly inclined to be generous. The main thing to know is that the Director is a thoroughly lovable old man whose first language is not English. From the context it seemed clear to me that nothing nefarious was intended. But I probably shouldn't have reported his position verbatim, since it's clear that the terminology distracts from the meaning.

In any case, all this leaves completely to the side the question whether his intentions, which seem to be good, will lead to practicable results. About that we can only keep our fingers crossed.

BB

JB

Where do you get these particular lists?

Thanks.

I've made them for DS when the topic has come up. Fibonacci and Factorials are easy if you have Excel. (Lucas is like Fibonacci, just with different starting values, so that's also Excel). There is a ton of information on wikipedia and other sites about happy numbers, primes, etc., so in those cases I just copy and paste. DS like to have the numbers in hand for reference...

JB

Not to drift off-topic, but I appreciate this sub-discussion, because, though no one has used the 'G' word with us, DS6 has for years utterly fallen in love with one isolated topic after another, notably, the alphabet, numbers, and the solar system. Not only his teachers, but even I get worried myself from time to time that he is over-obsessing. I'm coming to the view that they represent his comfort zone and provide a useful portable intellectual structure. We need to nudge him outside of the zone a bit, but it's good that he has it.

As it turns out, the solar system is a terrific launching pad for a whole raft of learning topics, from measurement, to geometry, to chemistry. It's actually a very sensible long-term framework to establish.

Well Grinity says "Gifted is as gifted does"

Label it however you want as long as you support your kid in it.
My kids have done this and I've never seen them get OCD about it. When they are done, they move on to something else. They have had periods where they weren't fascinated with anything in particular.

I knew a mom who seemed a little Gifted Denial. Personally, her son looked really GT to me, but it's none of my business. She had told me he was obsessed with Pokemon cards or something along those lines. Making intricate binders, creating extravagant story lines with the characters etc. She said she was very concerned and solved the "problem" by taking all the stuff away from him.
I felt bad for the little guy, but that's the mom's decision to make.
DD8 has made comments before that one of her friend's mom doesn't understand her. This is a particularly bright little girl. I asked her if that's what her friend told her. She said no, she's just decided that from observing her. DD8 then told me that I get her, which is obviously good!
Phew...

Yes, if it gives the child pleasure and helps the child connect with the world in a meaningful way, then the "obsession" looks healthy and useful to the child to me.

We all view the world through lenses that make sense to us. If your child's lens is math or cars or dinosaurs...so what? What does it hurt?

DS7 has been serially obsessed with letters, colors, building equipment, cars, race cars, and now Transformers. (I may have missed a couple, too!) Every one of those had its trying moments for me, but they were never bad for him. He learned from them and loved them, just as fitzi is describing. They were a springboard to making sense of the world. In my mind, that's a positive thing.

It also looks to me a lot like the sort of specialization that we adults do. I took math, but I don't love it. I LOVE literature, so that's what I'm doing for a living. It's my passion. In adulthood, we think of having a passion for what we do as a good thing, not a bad thing. So provided these kids don't dig in their heels and refuse to do *any* math (or whatever that's not their passion)--and most don't!--why penalize them for finding out about healthy, intellectual passions early?

I think of this sense of focus as being part of my son's makeup, like his introversion and his eye color. It's easier to accept it and even embrace it so we can use it for his growth and development than it would ever be to try to change it.

Stepping off my soapbox now...