Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment calling all testing experts...

One other thought on that same line...

How about a compromise where IQ is actually part of the picture but, once you've reached a certain point where the tests no longer distinguish as well, what diferentiates HG from EG from PG is not the #s alone but the characteristics that go with the individual child?

I've actually been told by someone in one of our local school districts that a child with an IQ of 100 could be gifted b/c IQ isn't what determines if someone is gifted. I can't get behind that idea but I could see as how two kids with the same IQ # might not be at the same level of giftedness.

This is good stuff!!!
As parents, it seems the bottom line is that we really need to know our kiddo's and what they need, and what they are capable of. Being "new" to this, it is so helpful to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences - it is a lifeline and a way to start down the path...
I assume (hope?) that as kids get older, it is less difficult to figure out what they need???? Someone say that is true!!!!

My kid only fits LDmom's description when he's with family. Otherwise, he is quiet as a mouse. In fact, he's told us he always behaves when there are teachers around so as not to ruin his perfect streak of no consequences at school.

You get better at advocacy, so it seems to get better. Although I'm only a couple years in. But it certainly gets better after the first school year is over. And the stress subsides after a while.... I know that now that my DS7 is in a good-fit school, I have not felt the need to advocate for anything yet, which makes me very happy.

I think just learning that different levels exist made a huge difference for me. When we started on this path of wonderment, trying to figure out how best to educate our wee child, I didn't know much about gifted. And I was even in gifted programs as a child, but I somehow forgot about that. I had no clues that there were different flavors of gifted, or that the needs of one GT kid might differ from the needs of another. I think a GT child can be any one of the different labels of GT at different times and in different areas. The thing that makes a difference to me is that the different levels/different needs exist. Once I wrapped my mind around that, my goal switched to convincing teachers that these differences exist.

From our experience, you get better at advocacy, you know more what your kid needs but the school? Well they may or may not know what to do with your kid. We're on school number two now and DS is only in 3rd grade. We're looking at school number three, or homeschooling or some sort of hybrid for next year. Because the school just doesn't "get" it.

I have an on paper PG kid (in achievement, IQ and school testing) who is a DYS but who really in a classroom is more like any teacher pleasing MG kid. He's grade skipped, still top of his class and still at least two years ahead in most subjects. But he doesn't speak up EVER, doesn't self-advocate and will do whatever work is put in front of him. We have battled repeatedly with the teacher this year who "forgets" that DS doesn't do 3rd grade math. She forgets about once a week. He's very very under the radar, doesn't want to make waves and doesn't want his teacher mad at him for questioning her.

So we know what he needs, know how to advocate for it- but that doesn't make it any easier!

My son (5.5 yr) is another - quiet, shy, and hardly ever speaks in class. His teacher didn't know he could read till the formal assessment, still doesnt know his math abilities. He's happy as a clam counting M&Ms with the other kids.

I think it does - often - get easier. Even for you CAMom. What if you hadn't gotten that first skip? Perhaps your DS would be chewing the desks today? And you not doubting what you see - that's a big improvement. The fact that you know something is wrong, and are actively planning your next step is a sign of great improvement. It is so easy to just 'let him be - he's happy' when they have that wonderful capacity to act good in school. Where I started was: "I don't care about the academics, as I know he's bright and can learn. I just want him to learn to be a good classroom citizen." You are a lot further along than where I started!!!

BTW - My DH had a reputation as 'the worst child ever created' at home,but was perfectly behaved at school.

No generalizations work for this group, we all simply have special educational needs.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Grinity-
I think what I mean by it doesn't make it easier is that just because you know what your child needs, it's not necessarily easier to get it! We went from clueless to having a plan and the skip was life changing for all of us. But each step in advocacy has new walls to conquer. We foolishly figured that one skip and we'd be done, smiling and happy for another 10 years. We've learned our lesson!

Let your DH know that he may have lost the title of "worst child ever created" at home to our DS. Also, like your DH, our DS is an unrecognizable angelic creature at school.