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Hi! While I should have been on here years ago, I'm glad that I'm finally here. I need help from those who have had their children go off to college at a young age.

The good news is that my son is 15 and has been accepted at several excellent colleges.

The "bad" news is that he's our youngest and I don't have experience at this level.

What can I expect? He's gotten EA at Caltech and MIT and he just received his "likely letter" from Harvard. While this is all good news, I feel in over my head. As obvious as this will sound, I don't know what I don't know.

Any help...advice?

Thanks in advance!!

Oldest! Oops!

congrats!
Have you visited the campuses? Will dorm living be allowed?
Grinity

Thanks! We started visiting a couple of years ago. He's been involved in math competitions and math camps, so we visited as he attended these.

I think all of the schools in which he's interested requires freshmen to live in the dorms.

Congrats!
No advice per se, but I do have a bit of experience. My oldest went to college at 16, she received a full academic scholarship to TCU and lived on campus in the "Honors" dorm. The college was only an hour away, so we figured it wasn't such a big deal since she could come home on weekends if she wanted to.

For us, it turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. My DD enjoyed the academics but outside of class, she did not really enjoy herself too much, I think for several reasons but primarily she felt out of place socially.

She tried to get involved and joined organizations etc, but she found that she could not participate in many of the activities due to her age (i.e. in the service fraternity, she couldn't even volunteer to walk dogs in the shelter and many of the social gatherings occurred at clubs that you had to be 18 to go to).

Additionally, even in the Honors dorm, there was a lot of partying and alcohol which my DD wanted no parts of, several times she found a passed out girl laying on her bed with a barf pail - my DD's room-mates would be keeping an eye on on a friend that would binge periodically(!).

In hindsight, I think it might have been easier if she had gone further away because in our case it was just too easy for her to give up trying to assimilate at the University. She would just meet up with her high school buddies off campus on the weekends.

After a year, despite a 3.5 college GPA and a great scholarship, my DD transferred to a State University where some of her friends were going. She had a much better time although she was no longer being challenged as much academically. She is now in Grad school at 20, and very happy being the big fish in the little pond, so to speak.

Perhaps your son's involvement in the math clubs will make the assimilation easier for him. He will at least have an automatic base group to be a part of. Or perhaps your son is less dependent on that sense of "belonging" than my DD. I do think things might have gone very differently if my DD would have joined the marching band in College - then she would have belonged to a group and I suspect that would have made a big difference. No regrets though, she is doing great and I am very proud of her.

Good luck!

Gah, this post has forced me to delurk.

Those three schools are ones that I am intimately acquainted with. All three of them are used to young college students, and a 15 year old will not be terribly out of place. On the young side, but possibly not even the youngest.

As a mother, I would not send my 15 year old to Caltech. There just isn't enough adult supervision and very bright kids can get up to unhealthy sorts of insanity. A lot depends on what Hovse a student sorts into, and some are more sane than others, but I wouldn't want my child there at 15.

Harvard and MIT both do well with supervision for Freshmen.

Of the two schools, I would allow him to decide. Harvard is easy. It can be academically challenging, but he should be able to get straight As with very little effort and he will have a lot of free time to spend on extra-curriculars. A trap many undergrads at Harvard fall into is killing themselves with the extracurriculars and doing none of them well. The one exception to easy As is the engineering department where there isn't any grade inflation. The Freshmen dorms have folks looking out for the kids.

MIT will be challenging, and all his classmates will be challenged, even the ones who are used to breezing through. At some point every student at MIT feels stupid (same with Caltech, but there's less adult support). A common trap is some kids with previous preparation do just fine their first year but never learn to study and crash and burn spectacularly their sophomore or junior year (also a problem at CalTech), eventually being outstripped by kids who were struggling their first year. MIT is a much more stressful environment than Harvard. BUT they have probably the most comprehensive residential support system of any school I have seen, possibly any school anywhere. They have to. They put enormous effort into keeping their suicide rate the same as the national average for that age group and there will be someone looking out for your kid. They even have "suicide days" once per month when they insert a no classes holiday because months without holidays have more suicides on average. There are many points of referral for mental health counseling through the residence, classes, and so on. People will notice if your kid disappears. Adults will also keep them from blowing themselves up, for the most part (not true at Caltech). Kids at MIT generally have one extra curricular activity in addition to their dorm activities. If he does go to MIT do not allow him to sort into Senior House (the drug dorm). There are drug floors in the other dorms as well that you will want to put your foot down about if he chooses MIT. East campus dorms tend to be more quirky and West campus dorms tend to be more "normal." The frats are stereotypical frats and I wouldn't let my kid in one at 16 or 17.

If it were my son going I would lean towards Harvard, but make sure he knows what he's getting into at MIT if he wants to go there. Also, although there's a lot more quirky types at MIT than Harvard, both campuses have both socially normal folks and quirky folks. It's easier to have friends while socially awkward at MIT, but not impossible at Harvard, and vice versa for socially ept. There's probably more room for mental growth at MIT, but there's plenty of time for growth in graduate school... Harvard is a good transition. If he's just thinking masters, MIT has a great 5 year MEng program. And if MIT academics get too tough, he can always drop down to course 15 (business). Though Harvard also has better financial aid, as I'm sure you've noticed.

I echo the sentiments about Caltech, although my experience is not so recent. I was in the dorms as a typically-aged college student, and I'd say "insufficient adult supervision" sums up my concerns well. Some of the young kids (14, 15, 16 yo) in my dorm did okay, but in hind sight as a parent, I'd say most of them would have been better off at home. The kids I know of who started at 17-18yo but were "over-prepared" as freshman fared much better in the long run than the very young, on average. I think the extra maturity went a long way in getting the most out of the experience.

Caltech may be a unique case, but I'd say my experience there has significantly influenced how I advocate for my kids - I am very eager to have them at home until 17-18yo. We have not grade-accelerated our public school kids, although test scores suggest they could have easily managed multiple skips. We are lucky to have some great teachers who have helped keep them challenged. They (twins) start middle school (6th grade) in Sept. at 11 yo, and it is still possible they'll run out of curriculum before they finish high school. But we're lucky to have a great (for now, anyway) state U. close by where they can take classes as high schoolers in that case.

p.s. on Caltech. -- Caltech offers a unique experience in many ways. I have never regretted the experience or the private school tuition -- there was definite value added and unique opportunities for students with a science/math/engineering inclination. However, when I went there, the drop out rate was about 30%, and some of those kids crashed and burned pretty hard. My previous post may have come across as an unintended diss of Caltech. Being an undergrad there can be an exceptional experience in a good way - but I encourage parents and students alike to do their homework and make an informed choice.

Congrats Clark! it is all good news, nothing to worry about :-)

I think that you should enjoy the moment and keep an open mind and wait for all information to come in (your son will probably get some more admission letters).

One thing to consider is finical aid, Harvard is by far the most generous one to middle/upper middle class families. MIT and CIT are a bit less. Depending your finical situation, that may or may not be an issue.

In April, admitted students will be invited to various campus for a couple days. Colleges are putting best shows to attract those who they already admitted (to keep yield high). MIT will give you a spectacular show (about how fun and how exciting the campus can be) and kids all love it. But keep in mind that will not be the real daily experience. Harvard puts less effort on pre-freshman weekend although most admitted student still come anyways. I am not sure about CalTech's pre-fresh weekend. I encourage that you and your son take the time and money to attend these events because they do give you a feeling of what is like.

My younger daughter DD17 was choosing between Princeton, Stanford and MIT last year. She kept her card closely until last moment. In the end, she choose Princeton mostly based on Pre-fresh experiences. She never regret it.

What major he plan to take? I assume that it is something math/science or engineering. Kids do change their mind frequently. My older DD18 changed major from English/Lit to Math and left me stunned. That gives comprehensive university like Harvard an edge because kids can change their mind without getting stuck.

Thanks for the all the advice. I'd rather go in with my eyes open and aware. Our son is trying to decide among Caltech, Harvard and Princeton (waiting for that acceptance letter). He seems to be heading toward theoretical physics/astrophysics. His first research project won him recognition in both the Siemens Competition and the Intel Science Talent Search. He'll turn 16 in June and he's our oldest, so we're adjusting to this next step.

chenchuan, what is your Princeton daughter's major?