Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Ducks in a row-2 E advocacy

I've been homeschooling DS10 for a little over a year now while we were in the long wait list for an evaluation. Also, his behaviors in the gifted program prior to homeschooling were causing problems: rigidity, lack of attention and anxiety.We didn't receive any support during this horrible time from the school. He was diagnosed with Aspergers and general anxiety disorder. He may have expressive writing problems, common I hear for Asperger's. Score information: FSIQ 128, Verbal-126, PRI-99.8, Broad Reading 99, Broad Math 160. Annual MAP assessment this year was >99% for 4th grade and 5th grade across all areas. Essay composition was 18%. He has been talking about wanting to go back to public school for middle school. While academics have been okay at home, I'd like him to have developed more independence, responsibility and time to work on organization before entering back into school. I contacted our local public school, not the gifted program, and have had several discussions with the psychologist. She is recommending that we do a very long transition back into school perhaps over 6 months, one hour at a time, so he can adjust. He is doing a social skill group privately and will probably have that as well in school. They will evaluate for the writing problems. I have the backing of the Children's Hospital psych, for as much gifted ed as possible. My concern, I know that this school district and psychologist are not fans of ANY kind of acceleration. He is 2 years advanced at home compared to the school district. I've already heard a comment that he 'needs to be focusing on the weaker areas', which of course he does but the acceleration has done so much for his behaviors. 1)He likes it a lot better. Although in general, anything that is not Legos, Redwall or video games is a drag. It's an Aspie thing. 2) My Aspie does not like novelty and by exposing him at a regular pace to new material, Singapore Math, he has gone from full melt down in bed with the blankets pulled over, to a very occasional tummy ache or 'this is fun!'. I'm really worried that they will bounce him back to 4th grade math and there may be behavior problems or that he regresses in his ability to deal with new things. He's already going to be going back to regular 4th grade with a pull out gifted and that's not very much. Although, if we do a very slow transition back, I could homeschool the math for awhile. The psychologist has been VERY kind and helpful in regarding the Asperger's and writing pieces but I want to be prepared at the meeing for having to do some real advocacy work in regards to math. Any ideas or experience? Is it really helpful to go in with research from gifted web sites that disagrees with them? Wow, I'm sorry this got so long!! I just know that there is great experience here and wanted all the information presented. Thanks for your time-

Hi Learningmom,

My DS8 has AS and gets accelerated math at school.

Yes, writing is often a problem for people with AS. We have worked very hard to get DS at grade level and keep him there. Some people use OT for this but we got better results by letting our behavioral psychologist design a program for us; as with many AS behaviors there can be rigidity about issues like pencil grip and what topics to write about.

There's a lot you can do to increase tolerance of new, non-preferred, or unexpected events; the book Parenting Your Asperger Child is good on this topic. You'd be welcome to come to OASIS-- there is a good message board there, including some parents of gifted AS kids. http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/

I'd advise bringing your private psychologist to the school negotiations and having them advocate on your DS's behalf. A person not in the family who's got the right degree can say things you can't say, and be heard. We have also had occasion to hire an educational advocate to work behind the scenes for us; this has been useful. We basically never give school people things to read, and certainly not off the internet; they probably won't read it anyhow and they would consider anything printed off the web as not authoritative.

You should know that it's illegal for them to discriminate; if they'd accelerate a non-disabled child who knows what your DS knows, they should accelerate your DS. Our school did the Iowa Acceleration Scale (inappropriately, as it is meant for whole-grade acceleration) before allowing DS to accelerate in math. It's been very beneficial.

Best,
DeeDee

Another helpful technique in negotiating IEP interventions or 504 accommodations is to have an undisputed expert pronounce YOU "expert" in the management of your child's particular disability.

If they'll say that in writing-- specifically using that kind of verbiage, I mean--

...I consider {parents} to be experts in the management of {child's name}'s {disability}.

IF you can get that, then that makes YOU part of the "expert" input that must go into a 504 plan or IEP from a procedural standpoint. The school would be very foolish to NOT consider what you have to say in light of such a written statement.


It also means that most communication with your own physicians happens WITH YOU IN THE LOOP.

It really sounds as though you have very good reasons to believe that some form of acceleration is truly necessary if your son is to transition well. Trust that instinct!


Oh, and about printing things from the internet?

Generally, no. On the other hand, "official" guidance, medical organizations' "best practices" and/or things from, say, The Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights?

Oh, heck yeah to that. That's just good advocacy. (I handed my DD's school a copy of the ADAA and even read pertinent sections to them in a particularly tense meeting once. I should be blushing, but hey... it made my point.)

ETA: general note of interest to ANYONE with a 2e child-- WrightsLaw is-- amazing.

I've found the hardest part of the 2e advocacy to be trying to balance getting the acceleration needed and assuring the school that accommodations are still needed as well.

I sometimes feel that the school thinks I am crazy when I say DS8 needs another skip, yet he just had a meltdown when his classmates water bottle touched his desk. He often has the maturity of a 4 year old but a brain of a 16 year old ....where should he be in school? It is hard for me to deal with the discrepancy and I've been living with it for 8 years; I can't even imagine what teachers who have just met him must think.

I try to follow the rule of advocating for his strengths primarily and then secondarily accommodating for his weaknesses. Sometimes schools have a tendency to see only the weaknesses and want to deny acceleration based on that. Our son was diagnosed with autism first, and it was a lot easier to advocate for that by itself. Now, he is a DYS gifted kid and we have to change the way we present him to the school.

As HowlerKarma noted, WrightsLaw is a great resource. I have referred to that and brought it to the administrators attention when needed. I have also brought in articles and books and even recently the Temple Grandin DVD, but I don't think those have much effect. We have had personal letters from DS's therapists and advocates present during the IEP meetings which do seem to be helpful. The best advocate for your child is you. Nan

Dr. Ed Amend advised us that for every minute our child spends working on his weaknesses--which is never fun for anyone to do--he should spend 3 minutes on his strengths.

That seemed like a pretty smart balance in our case. I don't know if it helps you with advocacy at all, but it might be a way to decide if the school is even aiming for a good balance.

Feel free to ignore.

I think I'd share your concerns with him and set up goals together before he goes back: "Jeffy, I know you want to go to middle school, but I am concerned about your ability to handle the responsibility of keeping track of your own homework, getting to class on time, etc." Then set up goals at home together-- simulate homework (assign things to be done in the afternoon, and turned in a day or two later, and his job to remember and keep track), projects, so HE can see where his strengths and weaknesses lie (and so you have something concrete to point to when you're explaining your concerns/kudos later down the road).

Our school system allows dual enrollment (home/public school) so last year my son attended sixth grade for band and was homeschooled for academics. Could your son go in for maybe two subjects for a semester, then come home for the rest, then add more the next semester, then go fulltime the following year (or skip step 2 if he's doing well)? That kind of transition worked pretty well for us, and would keep the clock-watching to a minimum.

And fwiw, both of mine are back in middle school, and while I'm thrilled we homeschooled for awhile, I'm also glad to see that they're putting the skills I worked on with them to good use in a different setting.

Oh, I like that. It means we can do more with less.

Thanks everyone! Can you imagine trying to advocate for your child without the internet? It's not a wonder that it probably just didn't happen.

Great suggestions everyone! DS is working with the psychologist every week with goals to expose him to anxiety situations and help him start working through them. I'm still trying to capture the moment when there are opportunities to work through rigidity issues, slow progress there I think. I will definately start changing the way he does homework, that will be a great discussion.

I've been spending time at Wright's Law and it was really helpful. It seems to get a little fuzzy around the gifted aspect so I may need to look at the Civil Right website. LOL! My husband has to say 'Babe, carrot not sledgehammer'.

I really appreciate everyone's advice. Always solid-