Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Teacher intimidated by my child?

I may be guilty of assuming too much about the OP's situation, but she says it's a Mother's Day Out program. I would guess the quality of the program is probably comparable to the childcare room I used at the YMCA. Safe, pleasant, but not in any sense a "school" and refering to the staff as teachers was more of a pleasantry that a professional title.

Although I would be shocked to hear an employee say it that way - "It's not my job to answer childrens' questions" - I think in practice you could argue that is true. In a 2 y.o. room they are still changing diapers and making sure the lids on sippy cups are secure. Not only is the OP's child very advanced, but he's older than the other children. It's not realistic to expect a MDO program staff memeber to answer all his questions. Just to keep him safe and happy while mom runs a few errands.

In programs I have chosen for my children on the basis of the educational environment they provide (as opposed to convenience) I have always found a huge degree of self-selection going on and the other children have tended to come from very good home environments and many were extremely bright. My expectations for those schools were very different.

More info. about the school: It's NAEYC accredited and the only school I found in my town that offered to make his room peanut and tree nut free. My kid is also anaphylatic to milk. They have bent over backward to accommodate him and the parents have been wonderful in letting me know what kind of treats they will bring in so I can make something similar for my ds. I don't think there is anywhere else in town that could keep him as safe as this school has. I slept in my car overnight to get my kid into this school. They have 1-year olds-pre-K, but don't call it preschool until they are in the 3 y.o. class. So you can see why I'm hesitant to stir-up possible trouble. This teacher has been there for a long time and is a member of the church. The director seems to be one class act though.
Questions/Comments: 1. I saw the Montessori school comment. Aren't Montessori schools supposed to encourage learning at your child's individual pace?
2. I do regret not trying to put my now 3 y.o. in the 3 y.o. class. I don't know what's covered in a 3 y.o. class and if my son knows these things already or not. He could be suddenly put in a new environment mid-year and would be away from his newly made friends. I don't know how he would react to this if at all. I didn't realize how seemingly babyish the 2 y.o. class would be. My heart sunk at the beginning of the year when I saw those large knob puzzles. My child is doing much more complicated jigsaw puzzles. A funny and surprising moment was when I came in during free-play and saw my ds with the class gathered around attentively listening as he read a story aloud. The kids in the class, even the ones with birthdays close to his, are barely intelligible and their sentences have few words. Should I try to get the director to sit in on class to observe him if I try to move him up either this year or next?

Now I can see why you don't want to stir up trouble!
I think you should visit the school and see what the 3 year old room looks like (and the 4 year old room while you are at it) and do ask the director to sit in on class. That doesn't seem like alot.

As for a midyear move - I think alot depends on the personality of the kid. If you kid makes 'friends' easily at the playground then I can't imagine it would be a problem. Afterall, at this age what passes for 'friendship' is hardly what we adults think of as friendship. But I come from an unusually extroverted family, so perhaps I'm not the best to get advice from. If you want to 'stack the odds' then get a kid from the room your son will be entering and invite him over for a playdate on a weekend. Repeat 3 more times with different kids if you are nervous. That might be all it takes so your son doesn't have to walk into a room totally 'fresh.'

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Sorry to hear you are going through that right now. Some people just don't understand our children. It can be so sad and frustrating. That woman is the opposite of everything you would want for your child. I am sorry. I am sure you will eventually find the right environment. It is great that he seems happy there, but he could change. My DD4 started "dumbing herself down" (sorry if that sounds awful) at school so that she fit in in preschool and is just starting to share more of herself with people. It will get better. It seems preschool can be a tough time for kids who are very advanced.

Hi Anna, I'm no expert on this (maybe someone else will chime in) but a just turned 3 y.o. reading is really quite unusual. Like, remarkably unusual. I'm bringing this up only because I get the impression from your quote that you are considering the possibility that the 3 y.o. class curriculum might be too advanced for him. If I've misinterpreted you, I apologize. But if your son is reading books at barely 3 I don't see how there can be any question that the 3 y.o. class is more appropriate for him academically (obviously the best placement with regard to the whole child is your call).

I have a son whose birthday is 21 days past the cut off in my area. We've always had him "ahead" a year (really only 21 days) and it's allowed us to avoid a lot of difficulties.