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Hello, I have a DS age 6. He has been held back one year as suggested strongly by a Private School Principal due to his "emotional immaturity". He has always been bright but, quirky. We just had him tested finally, because he's bright but not globally gifted. He is quite asynchronous. He has delayed gross motor skills. At age 6, he still cannot catch a large ball, hop repetitively on one foot, nor skip. He can't dribble the basketball and has an awkward shuffling gait and a flailing run) He scored a 143 on the WISC IV. I still haven't received the breakdown subset numbers but, his visual spacial intelligence is through the roof according to the Psychologist.

Has any of you gone through a situation where your child has has a regression of skills after starting formal education? In our case, DS was doing mental arithmetic with double digits at 4. We asked him how he does it and he could never explain it. He loved doing math in his head and yet his methods baffled us. We'd write down math problems and was breezing through them and he loved it. So thinking it would be good for him, we took him to Kumon a year later and it's been a year now. He now has no confidence to do mental arithmetic. Now, he looks at it and says, "It's too hard Mom, I can't do it". He hates the repetition of the Kumon drills but, has finally learned to do them quickly. He's still stuck on doing simple addition, even though he understood the concepts of (+-*/) at the age of 3.5. He still LOVES word problem and we'll do them in long car rides. I'm guessing it's a confidence issue. My guess is to pull him out of Kumon. But, HOW do I help him regain that mental math processing he did with ease??? I feel like I've failed him.

He's focused his efforts on reading now and is reading everything and anything he thinks looks interesting. He's in 1st grade and is reading at a a 5th~6th grade level. His school is trying to accommodate him but, he is put in the back to do a self-study while the other children learn how to read, "cat, rat, and, the, if , it" etc. He gets distracted by the teacher talking to the others and won't concentrate on his given task. The Psychologist said DS doesn't have any learning disabilities, ADHD or Aspergers. DS loves learning about astronomy and biology. He was obsessed with playing the States Game when he was 4 and Monopoly and Chess at age 5.

I'm a working mom at Fox TV Animation. I am of average intelligence but, am gifted in the arts.

Thanks for reading this!

P.s. I think 6 yr. Old boys are supposed to act immature, but what do I know?

I don't think many parents have their kids educational needs figured out by that age yet. Have you tried teaching him something new lately to respark that visualization or however he was doing the math. I wouldn't rehash the (+-*\). There's some kind of calculus by kids for kids book I saw online that's supposed to be for 7yr. olds and up, and there's the hands on equations that's supposed to be for ages 9 and up. I'd look at those and see if offering him something new helps gets his head back into it. Especially as fast as you say he learned the fractions.

I think the regression and forgetfulness comes along when a kid who can do math in his head with no particular thought for the process is suddenly faced with thinking about the process. Do you know the story about the caterpillar tying his shoes? It's like that--you can't stop to think about it or you get confused! There's also the fact that the methods taught often don't correspond to the method that has been working fine in the head, and often the teaching pushes that method as "the right way" and suddenly the other way is "wrong" so they stop it.

Yes, six year olds are supposed to be emotionally immature--and highly intelligent ones are even more so if they are expected to sit still and do stuff they did when they were two. To paraphrase what someone said a while back, if you made a sixth grader sit down and do first grade work, he wouldn't behave well for long, either. I hope you can get the school to reconsider that "emotional immaturity" thing and start getting him some higher-placed education instead. Hang around here and learn from the masters--there are some people who are truly gifted at advocating around here!

Thanks La Texican for the link to the Calculus book. I'll give that a try.

Thanks Nautigal for the explanations. I was discussing this with the Psychologist who tested our DS. He mentioned that DS's Visual Spacial Intelligence is the highest of the subsets on the WISC IV and DS uses his Right brain to do all the computations before, but now is trying to learn to use his Left brain.

Thanks CFK, yes we made that BIG mistake... we have quit Kumon as of today! You are absolutely right. He taught himself to read, and had figured out some way to learn math in his own way before we stuck him in Kumon and tortured him for a year with boredom.

As to why we agreed to hold him back: He has severe (life-threatening) multiple food allergies and we didn't feel comfortable enough to let him handle that on his own. Also, he would not focus on his given task in preschool. He would be told to finish coloring his numbers or writing his letters. He could do it in 5 minutes if he wanted to but, he'd dilly dally for 30 minutes and the teacher would hold him from going to recess until he completed it. Plus, we didn't have him tested until 2 weeks ago.

I was going to say essentially the same thing. My dd9 has had huge confidence issues since she started school. We've played around with the idea of homeschooling and were intending to do so this year but her school GT coordinator has gone so far out of her way to make accommodations for her that we're giving it another try for now.

In our dd's instance, much like your ds', she doesn't do the intermediary steps in math problems and often solves them in a creative different manner. Hearing that the way you are doing things is wrong over and over does do something to your confidence. In our dd's instance, I don't think that anyone actually told her that she was wrong, but it was implied b/c the way she was doing things and looking at things didn't comport with what they have been taught is correct and she took that to heart. She must be wrong.

Is there any possibility of undoing the retention or skipping him a grade at this point? How about having him work with a computer tutor rather than sit in the back of the classroom for reading? Do you have any other schooling options if not?

Have you tried Sudoku? My DS now 7 is much the same as yours "math happens in my head, not on paper". Give him books with math games and puzzles, brain teasers etc. Just leave them out on a table somewhere. I would second looking into the possibility of undoing his hold and having him moved to a more appropriate grade.

Update: I spoke with DS' teacher. She is unwilling to skip him up a grade. She says he'll miss the small details that are needed. For example, he didn't know what a noun, verb or adjective was. I guess that's something easily learn though! I suggested condensing DS' curriculum to half a year instead of the full to get him to the 2nd grade. She seemed very reluctant. So... I tried another way in:

I've been advised by friend that I requested that under his 504 plan, DS would be assigned a private tutor in school. I tried that, the teacher said she'd never heard of it but, would look into it. I also asked that DS would be assessed regarding his delayed gross motor skills. If he does need help, perhaps that will be a gateway into an IEP plan? That might be better than the 504 for him.

I've SERIOUSLY considered homeschooling as well, however DS' an only child and many close friends and relatives steered me away because of socialization or lack there of. I know there are plenty of socializing options out there now, so I'm not as worried but, I'm working full-time and we definitely need the income

I wouldn't imagine that his teacher would be the one making the decision on skipping a child a grade. It certainly helps to have teacher support, but I'd go to the principal with the request.