Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion quirky behaviors

DS6 has some very quirky behaviors. He has had different ones off and on over the last couple years. He used to lick his lips really frequently and have a rash all around his mouth (still worried about this happening again when it gets colder out). He also whisper repeats often when he says things and he has been doing that for a few years now. Sometimes he does it a lot, other times it goes away for a while. He used to snap his fingers all the time. His latest thing he does is quite odd. He does this thing with his fingers all the time where he takes his thumb and rubs the knuckles of his middle finger repeatedly. We ignored it for a few weeks and then this weekend I notice he has blisters on his middle finger from rubbing it so much. He first just told us it feels good and now he is telling us he just can't stop doing it. It's not all the time, but it is most of the time if he doesn't have something in a hand. He really doesn't appear anxious. He does it more when he is really intense on something or thinking hard (which is why it happens almost all the time because his brain never really slows down). He also paces when he is thinking about things or telling me ideas sometimes. Any other kids have some odd quirks like this? The finger rubbing is completely new to me, but the others I have heard of before a little at least.

The whisper repeating is interesting, it sounds to me similar to a child on the show "The Middle" that we have seen a few times. The youngest boy, "Brick" is most likely highly gifted but he seems to be autistic/asperger's possibly. Maybe you can check that out and see if it is the same thing.
Regardless, DD used to do things similar to that, especially the lip licking. She would have the dry lips/rash all the time as well! She hasn't done that in maybe 5 years now, though. I think she just slowly figured out how to not do that, and it eventually went away. I think at 6, behaviors like that are somewhat normal, if they do eventually go away.
This might be an already answered question, but I'm assuming any type of autism spectrum disorder is not present? If that were there, that would make a lot of since, but I imagine you wouldn't be asking unless you were fairly sure that he didn't have anything.

My DS7 has had the lip bitting/rash thing before. Winter and dry air add to that problem, I had even mentioned it to my D once upon a time and he told me it's common and not to worry. Just put lip balm on when you think of it. My son also has some "quirks". His working memory is realative weak to his "gifted" traits and so he does some things in order to "cope". When you ask him any question he ALWAYS repeats the question out loud. I never realized it until we had him assessed and the Dr. pointed it out. SHe said it's great that he's creating those ways of coping without even realizing it. He is also very fidgity and wiggly when he has to concentrate on something. The teacher has given him a wiggle cushion to sit on and a stress ball to squeeze so that he can release some of that energy in a non-disruptive way. I don't worry about these things too much, my husband is very similar and was probably the same as a child. Now as an adult he HAS to walk around when he is on the phone, and he was a chronic nail biter until he got braces last year. I'm hoping that habit is beat whe the braces come off! LOL.

Yes, we have seen the show the Middle a lot and DH and I laugh a lot. Brick is certainly a character. Very different than our DS but we can still relate in some ways for sure. He does do the whisper repeating like that, and sometimes repeats the whole sentence that he says (usually if he is really processing it). He is PG but he is not at all on the spectrum. Those behaviors would be his only traits that would go along with anything on the spectrum actually, which is why it is so strange to us.

And Joyce, DS is also very active when he is thinking or working on things. He has almost fallen off of his chair doing math ; ) I am not too worried about these, although the hand one now is really annoying me because of the blisters.

I still pace and move a lot when I am thinking hard, especially when I'm not in class, and I still whisper sometimes when I read questions... I also have a lower working memory compared with how quickly I think, so it may be a way to cope with that/compensate, as JoyceJ pointed out. It's only caused issues once in two decades of schooling, and I don't fall onto the spectrum in any other way. My guess is that it's just some quirks...

both my younger dd's have quirky behaviors. dd7 whisper repeats questions and/or her answers since about 18months maybe before that, she pulls little strands of her hair (this drives me crazy) dd5 does the lip licking and twirls her hair when she is stressed. Both are not in the spectrum in any way, I think gt kids just have quirks, part of what makes them speical

We started with quirky behaviors at about 4, and they have changed over time. At first DD would do this weird wiggling of her fingers - constantly, to the point people would ask if she was ok. Then it moved to clicking noises, then clearing her throat, then outright coughing, For a while it was strange faces along with one of these other things. For us it is a clue that something is bothering her, even if she can't express what it is, or has no idea what it is. They are all her coping mechanisms with the situations she finds herself in. They often become more pronounced when she is reading or working on a project. She has also fallen out of chairs while drawing and reading, and paces when talking. She use to do this strange mouthing thing of what I was saying - it was as if she was repeating it to herself instantaneously. My younger DD2 now does the same thing. (It was my mother that brought this little quirk to my attention because it drives her crazy )
When life is great and she is happy, and had her brain activated and engaged we have fewer quirks. I think it is all just part of who she is and how she deals with feeling everything so much more deeply than the rest of us. (She definitely has a sensitivity intensity.) Because of this when we notice an increase, we spend more time talking and cuddling and making sure she is feeling loved and secure with life. It helps a lot, because it often leads to her figuring out what has been bothering her and us getting a better understanding of what's happening inside her brain.

Well, at least now I know what to look for next! DS8 had to keep a Chapstick in his pocket all last winter because he licked his lips and had that red rash all the time. He also did the whisper thing over the last couple years. That has pretty much gone away, although recently there's more of a word-repeating stutter, out loud. Now he's snapping his fingers all the time--which probably didn't surface till now because he only recently learned to do it. I just thought it was Asperger's stuff, but if yours isn't, then maybe it's just kid stuff. I'll keep an eye out for that knuckle thing!

Bless you ALL! I was typing a reply to shellymos last night when I was interrupted by a phone call. I never did submit my reply. I was going to tell her that ds has all of those quirks except for the finger rubbing. I am so relieved to see all of these other replies because we've been in turmoil recently when others have suggested that maybe our ds 6 (soon to be 7) might have Asperger's. Yet, after reading these posts, he seems very normal. LOL

So, I just want to thank you all so much for calming my frazzled nerves a bit. This place has truly been an oasis for me. When you ladies post about your children, it's like reading about my own child. I so relate to what you are saying most of the time. That is extremely refreshing after five years of not fitting-in anywhere.

How funny Nautigal Yes, now you know what is coming up next. It's an interesting progression. Yes, DS started the snapping after he learned and he was quite good. He doesn't really snap anymore, I thought about having him start that again as a substitute behavior Some kids are just quirky. I really don't think he is all that anxious, at least he really doesn't appear to be. He seems so laid back...he gets intense about learning stuff but the finger thing seems to be often even when he is sitting and reading a book or whenever. The whisper repeating seems to be a little less but definitely happens when he is really thinking about things hard.

And the falling off of chairs, how funny. DS doesn't fall too much anymore, but has over the past couple years pretty often. Our chair has broken before though because of leaning on 2 legs. It is so annoying to us. The one he has now is squeaking all the time because he has misaligned the whole thing. I can't say if the behaviors are aspergers type or not, but DS is definitely not aspergers....just quirky. Oh, and I don't have any quirks that I know of except that finger type thing. My husband pointed out to me that I take my thumb and rub my fingertips when I am in a hurry cleaning or cooking, or when I am thinking hard about things. Pretty funny that I never noticed it at all...and no one has ever mentioned it to me but now I am aware of doing it.