Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Hyperactive????

DS is 4 and has always had an abundence of enery. I too at 33 have an insane amount of energy but not nearly enough to keep up with DS. He also channels that energy into his learning and has amazed me since birth with his learning capacity. Today his Karate teacher who has a class for children with autism and ADHD mentioned something about DS's hyperactivity. I didn't act insulted but I really wanted to blurt out "You know he could read and 3 1/2 and he knew all his letters before he could walk?!!!!". But I bit my tongue and stated that I had been channeling his energy with exercise. So now I'm freaking out thinking that DS is hyperactive and I'm going to have a lifetime of difficulty with his learning. Help!

It's how you play the hand you're dealt, bro. �He's smart and full of energy. �There's worse things to be. �He might be the one to finish his work early and then leave his desk and bounce around the room bothering the other kids, but teachers have dealt with that before. �
That said, I worry too much too! �My baby is almost three. �I've been asking for advice to come up with a plan to help him succeed in a few months when he starts karate and next year when he starts pre-k. �
The most workable advice I've found yet was recommended here, "the nurtured heart approach, transforming the difficult child.". My baby's too young to be difficult yet, but the program gives me a plan ahead of time. �I like two things about it. �It promotes a continual positive mindset. �The parent is encouraged to stay excited and spend your energy on the good times while minimizing focus on the negative. �But still teaching discipline.
It teaches kids how to not get wound up when they break a rule and there's a time-out. �It actually said to practice time-out before there's a problem. �
In school and karate both it seems the ability to take a time-out like a man when you've broke a rule will keep you out of getting into more trouble with the teachers. The guy on the cd said it makes kids neurotic to try to be perfect all the time. �They need to learn, "yes, I care what you do. �But if you mess up and break a rule, oh well. �Don't make a big deal out of it. �Do your time-out then get on with your day.".�If that's even the part you're worried about. I am, kind of.

Hi Jimmysmom. Other than energy are there other concerns that his teacher noticed?

I'm the first to state misdiagnoses are common and you should definitely read "Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnoses Of Gifted Children And Adults: Adhd, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression, And Other Disorders" especially if you feel you will be dealing with this through his entire schooling.

But I also want to point out that a child can be gifted and have autism or ADHD or many others. The fact that his teacher works with kids who have autism and ADHD makes me wonder if it was something more than just energy.

Exactly. There are wildly gifted kids with ADHD and ADD, but for each kid the strengths and challenges combine in their own unique way - so saying a child has ADHD says nothing about how their learning will go. OTOH a 'normal school environment' can be very hard on a wildly gifted kid or a kid with ADHD - so depending on the child's personality, combining those aspects can make fitting in to a 'normal school environment' something of a challenge.

See what you think about that 2008 edition of 'Transforming the Difficult Child' by Howard Glasser and if there is anything there that would help you guide your child to be strong enough on the inside to handle whatever challenge comes his way.

Smiles,
Grinity

Hi, Jimmysmom.

I would like to mention Dabrowski's Over-excitabilities Theory as a possibility.

I have had suggestions of autism, and certainly OCD tendencies, in my own son, now 7. His Montessori teacher labeled him early on as autistic due to "hyperlexia," inability to sit still during circle time (age 4), zoning out/daydreaming during class time, and occasionally enjoying playing alone.

However...my very sociable, well-balanced, and happy child is about the farthest from autistic that one may be. As with other highly gifted children, he just has some differences. Dabrowski's theory explains him perfectly - all five areas. It also gives me great comfort that some of his little quirks fit right in line with this theory. It also explains why many highly gifted children are misdiagnosed with ADHD, etc.

Thought I might add this as a perspective, primarily because we have been through some difficult and uncomfortable school situations where a teacher wanted to "diagnose" my DS and did not even consider profound giftedness as a possibility.

Regards,
Alee31

My son IS hyper (but not ADHD) and it IS noticable. Usually when people make a comment I say something like, "Yeah, just like the energizer bunny." or "I know, right? I can't keep up!" Every once in a while there will be a mean comment that I have to ignore and I try my best not to fume about it. It is a way of life and I mostly enjoy it...exuberance and enthusiasm are contagious!!! Nan

I was labeled hyperactive as a kid. Truth was my body just couldn't keep up with my brain. Thinking, thinking, thinking, doing, doing, doing. The energizer bunny for sure. I'm no doctor but years of meditation (yes even as a child), created in me a happy, healthy, peaceful adult. There are a lot of meditation for children books including yoga books out there that can begin to train that non-stop thinking to calm a bit. Best of luck

Even if your child ends up being diagnosed with ADHD there are ways to cope with. That said, I worry about the diagnoses for my DD4. She is very hyper, silly, and impuslve, but she CAN focus and contain, esp. if something interesting is happening. She learns "academic" things quickly and easily BUT doesn't seem to be listening many time, interupts, and is slow to respond to social lessons. I worry, yet I am telling you not to worry. Yes, I am a hypocrit.

Thank you all for your help and suggestions. I feel so much better and accepted. After I posted, I thought that I may offend others by worrying if my DS is hyperactive. This is just because society seems to equate ADHD or hyperactivity with learning disabilities. DS's preschool teacher did mention that he is easily distracted. I chalked it up to the fact that they spent the ENTIRE school year learning the alphabet (how borring!) I explained to her that he learns constanly even when you think he's not paying attention. I have found so much understanding here, it is so helpful to know that I'm not alone!

I know, right? �It's just wierd and a little vulnerable to discuss our lives online where you can't really see each other. �You can't really see a reaction. �And you lose half your charisma by not being there. �But it's cool once you adjust. �Online forums. "The final frontier, these are the voyagers who seek out new life, a strange civilization."
Especially nerve-wracking to anyone who would make a post in a gifted parenting community. �Part of being gifted is trying to do everything right. �And part of trying new things is doing stuff wrong. �How embarrassing. �But cool at the same time.
I don't know if my guys hyper or just a three year old. �Is it ADD to run, climb a stool and jump off running back to the stool to climb it and jump off...or is that just a healthy active three year old boy? �Umm, that thing I suggested is supposedly an effective discipline plan for ADD kids. �It's respectful to the child. �And it works for non-add kids as well. �Anyway, I'm trying it.