Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Should my 5 1/2 yo son attend funeral?

I am so very sorry for your loss, and I will keep your family in my prayers.

The other parents have wonderful advice. I agree that in this difficult situation where I'm sure your mind is on so many things and you need this time for yourself, you should just follow your instincts. If your husband, inlaws, or other trusted adults can stay with him and help monitor his feelings/emotions (and remove him if it's too much), it might be best for you to keep your family together. On the other hand, I think it could also be a wonderful middle ground to have him stay with other people during the funeral itself and join up with the family event afterwards if there is something along those lines.

Thank you all for your support and advice. I guess one of the things that makes it difficult is that my husband categorically does not like the idea of a 5 y.o. attending a funeral. He will, however, let me choose whether my son attends. I will not allow him to go to the viewing, however, based on everything here, and having spoken to others, I will allow my son to attend. I will, however, have his paternal grandmother stay with him and allow him to leave with her if any of the funeral becomes too much for him. Once again, I thank you all so much for your help. Knowing that I can come here for help makes a difficult time less so.

((hugs)) I'm very sorry for your loss.

Your plan sounds very sensible. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you feel happy with your decisions in the end. I'm also in the large group of people who were not allowed to go to a funeral at this age and regret it (although not as much as the funeral when I was 10 or so, to which I actively wanted to go).

I would like to thank everyone who gave advice. My son did attend the funeral (but not the viewing), and it appears to have been a positive experience for him. He was never requested to leave and hopefully, all will be well!

Thank you for sharing that outcome with us, as we should all be able to draw from your experience.

When I was pregnant with DD9 my husbands sister passed away, with 4 children left behind, youngest being 2.5 yo. What they did was have someone in another room watching them, they came out one by one and viewed her in the coffin with someone explaining things gently to them of what was going on, and they went back to the room. They were allowed to come out again if they needed to be with their Dad and it all seemed to work out pretty well.

Oh no, I started to cry a little bit when I read that.