Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy To tell or not to tell....DS wants to know IQ

after IQ testing My DD7 wanted to see her test. I showed her and she asked how she did. I told her it's not something you can do badly on but I would say if she was graded she got an A. She seemed content with that. I thought this was cute.

A good IQ tester won't just give a single IQ number but a several page written report describing the findings, with sub-test as well as overall scores. Showing how a score is obtained may serve to demystify it. I do think my son should be able to read this report if he requests it, but I understand the logic of the people who disagree, especially for younger children.

One other thing about this is that when we have had testing our tester did more than just the IQ test. Part of what they used were checklists or comments from us and from D15's teachers. I felt like some of that feedback was given in confidence by those people, and they didn't really intend for D to read them (at least in the near term). D is 2E, so not every comment was positive I felt like that really was not info she needed to know. She has now seen the full report from the analysis done when she was very young, but I withheld that portion of the report (showed her only the final results section) for the report that was done this year. I felt that was appropriate to respect the teachers who gave the input. I also thought D would focus on their comments and not on the results and recommendations if I let her see that part of the report at this time.

I suspect that's probably the case for most kids. Some curiosity about it when it comes up in their world seems only natural. But more than a score, a number, I think what they're asking for when they ask is "What does this mean? What does this teach me about myself? About how I fit into my world?"

I think it's entirely possible to answer those questions in ways that are helpful to the child without talking numbers, certainly at least while they're younger than teens.

BTW, I think personality might play a part in things, too. If I had a highly competitive kid, I think I'd be less likely to share the number out of fear that he might use it as a weapon with other kids. That sort of thing is really detrimental to all involved, especially the kid with the IQ score! Part of the maturity issue would be the ability to exercise discretion even when pushed by other kids.

As I read through these posts one thought hits me.

If a child is gifted in sports we think it's just fine and dandy that we build arenas for them to perform in front of cheering fans and if little Johnny breaks the school record it gets blasted over the PA and shouted from the rooftops... yet when little johnny is discovered a genius, somehow he's "Different" in a hushed tone and it becomes not nice to announce to the world.

Maybe that's the reason that we have such a hard time finding funding to get these kids what they deserve.

We celebrate kids who achieve in athletics, not kids who have the potential to achieve. I.Q. is a measure of potential - I think it's more analogous to a genetic marker for a high VO2 max than to breaking a school record.

But I see your point. There are no homecoming festivities for the chess team.

I agree with JaneS on this one. Can you imagine the look on your face if some parent announced that his son had the gene for a major-leauge level pitching arm?

Let's save the sports analogy for budget allocation discussions, ok?

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Such great food for thought regarding this issue, and so many things that I don't think I would have even considered had it not been for the discussion.

For me, the biggest issue is not about giving him the number, but rather putting it into a context. If I just told him the number and he had no frame of reference, he wouldn't know whether it was 'good, bad, high, or low'. And he has no reference (when the topic first came up and I was trying to not answer specifically, I asked him what he thought it would be and he promptly replied "like 300?"....boy, is he going to be disappointed, ). This showed me he has no clue about anything other than it being a number.

I agree with those who've said that maturity would play a part in the timing of sharing the info, and if/when it comes up again, DSs maturity with regard to information and the ability to process and truly understand what it all means will be a determining factor. It's simply a piece of information about him that I happen to have, and I believe he has a right to know it...at some point. (I do also believe that it's my privilege to share and not that of a teacher/tester/etc. I'd be upset if I thought someone who isn't as familiar with DSs whole person decided to give him the info.)

I don't agree with you. Suppose a boy gets a 700 on the math SAT before age 13 -- the qualification for the Study of Exceptional Talent. He *has* achieved something -- achieving a skill in mathematical reasoning -- that the vast majority of people will never achieve. There is a good chance he will use that skill to produce something that will benefit society -- more so than the child who runs the 100-yd dash the fastest. Good test scores are generally the product of BOTH innate ability and effort, and they should be acknowledged as other achievements are, in order to encourage future achievements.

To clarify, the person I was respectfully disagreeing with was Grinity in post# 80377. And let me say that I appreciate her contributions to this forum.