Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school early spelling and mama's perfectionism

My DD3.9 was able to spell some words at 2, but now at 3.9 is really just becoming able to write words. She tends to omit vowels or use one letter when there are double letters etc. There are some things she can write with no problem and with no prompting from me. She has become interested in doing this on her own and I am not sure if I should interfere at all, but some part of me wants to help her but I try to be hands off to some extent because I want her to want to do it and feel in control of it (it being whatever she is interested in) and have a perfectionistic streak that I am trying to keep in check.

Here is an idea that might be fun for early writers: writing notes back and forth to one another and playing post office. She has a little mailbox. She can't write a whole note yet, but it would be a fun thing to do.

I just found a site online that suggested that we as parents / teachers focus more on content and less on accuracy (in spelling) for early writers. Heck, that was advice for kindergarten and first grade so that should tell me something about not needing to correct too much: any opinons? I tried not to correct her too much when she was learning to speak, and I guess the important thing here is that she feels confident in the act of writing and is using phonic awareness to take a stab at how to spell things.

Anyway, I was just looking for others experience of their children learning to spell and how much you helped them with that process.

I really don't have any advice. My DD (3 1/2) has been writing for a little while and mostly her name and ours. But thought I would pass on something I did with her this past week since it really excited her. I have a friend in S. Africa who has a child about the same age and is HG+. DD wrote him a note and I took a picture of it and sent it to her and her son via email. He was super excited to receive it and is going to send something back to her though it won't be writing since he isn't quite there yet, but he is starting to work on his letters and his mom said the note from DD sparked him to want to try even more. It should be fun for them to share with each other.

But as for what your DD is doing, in trying to spell different words, I agree that right now it really isn't important that she spell them perfectly. It is more about learning to put information down on paper and telling the story. That said, being a perfectionist myself, I will probably need duct tape for my mouth so I don't correct her. And I know DD is already a perfectionist. While writing her name on cards for valentine's day she got very upset that her 'Y' was not perfect and when I offered to help she finally allowed me but complained that it looked like a '4' not a 'Y' and that was not her name. I just keep encouraging her to accept that it is close enough and with practice she will get it. Most of her friends at school can't write their names and those that do are not perfect either. But yet another sign how peer pressure doesn't work on her. Really not about anyone else ... just what she expects from herself.

Thanks for the chuckle with that line. I try so hard to be the accepting nurturing parent, and I think I do a decent job, but there are times there is a bucking bronco of a perfectionist inside of me and it isn't always easy to restrain. I think my DD has a bit of this too and gets really irritated with herself when things aren't right, so the last thing she needs is a nitpicking mom over her shoulder. I hope I can let go and step back if she does poorly in school at any point. It will be a spiritual-emotional challenge for me :-) When she took her IQ test I needed to leave the room because it made me nuts when she said things wrong I knew she knew. I think I am accepting overall, and very proud of her, but have to keep an eye on my inner perfectionist.

That is great that your DD and your friend's child are sending notes back and forth. It sounds as though they both love the idea. I may have my DD write a note then scan or take a picture of it and send to her grandparents. Thanks for the idea.

Ask her to write your grocery list. Write a note to Grandma. Does she like to draw? Ask her to write a sentence about the picture she just drew.

If she likes to cook with you, have her write recipes on cards that she can put in her own recipe box.