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I'm wondering if any of you with verbally precocious toddlers have 'issues' with the way in which your DC chooses to communicate? (By issues, I mean choice of words/topic, emphasis etc relevant to the receptive audience)

I feel a little embarrassed to be talking about this actually, but we've a reached a point here at home that something needs to change - or at the very least, I need to get it off my chest. Basically DD26mos has gone from being my quiet ponderer who talked in depth when it interested her, to commenting on absolutely everything and everyone. Combine this with perfect clarity, animated body language and facial expression and there's no mistaking it - if she's got a problem with something (which is most things it seems at the moment) you are going to know about it. She's telling strangers off for littering; Children at the park for not wearing their hats; Me for being tardy in responding to her requests; From her stroller no less, she even accused a poor unwitting gentleman of stealing our new car. This was a somewhat understandable mistake to make as it was the same make/model/color as ours, but still! She hasn't mastered volume control yet and being 2, lacks understanding and judgment of social etiquette. Family, friends and strangers to date have been mostly gracious about her outbursts (especially if they ask how old she is) but I think she's become downright overbearing for children, which is a shame because she's also extremely empathetic and concerned about fairness.

Anyway, I've been subtly working with her by rephrasing some of the harsher comments as well as practicing speaking quietly/loudly and when it's appropriate. Neither DH nor I are loud, confrontational people so she's being shown polite interaction in everyday situations as well.

Please understand, I'm absolutely thrilled for DD that she can communicate effectively especially after watching my DS(now 4) struggle with speech delay and articulation issues. I'm also acutely aware that DD is going through the typical rapid development of toddlerhood which can be tricky at the best of times and everyday can be a roller coaster However, if anyone has any other ideas on how I can gently help her to be somewhat less...abrasive, I'd really appreciate it. Otherwise, can you let me know about when we can expect a reprieve?!

LOL
2 was also a hard year for us!
When my DS was a late 2 he stated very loudly in a restaurant "that lady is fat" I wispered sweetly in his ear about volume, choosing nicer words, and so-on, which made him mad so he then replied back in his rude loud voice "Fine! she's not fat she is over weight"
The worst part about it was that the lady was not fat, size 12-14 maybe?


We are now on the up side of 3, and I can report that his temper, volume, and couth have improved.
The only thing I can recommend is patience and practice. We had to have alot of "little talks" about what was appropriate or not and why. Gradually my DS started to catch on, but he is still a work in progress.
Role playing about what would have been a better choice may also help as your DD gets a lil' older.

And lastly don't stress too much, your DD is giving you some fun stories to laugh about later!

Dd3 has been unbearable at home since about 2, but a little improved now that she is almost 4. Mostly she is demanding, no please/thank you, often barking requests rather than using a normal much less 'nice' tone. The other major issue is not taking no for an answer; hardly ever. It is crazy.
I was extremely relieved to find that at school anyway she doesn't act like a bossy monster. She started preschool about 2 months ago and they think she is very nice. Go figure.
Some days it feels like she's in time out 1/2 the time she is at the house. If we didn't have another child who has pretty good manners (for a 9 year old boy that is) I would think we were the worst parents.

DD is like that too. Especially on the play grounds. As we mostly do not speak english with her the most embarrassing situations are usually saved as nobody can understand us. She does comment on other kids actions in English and sounds like a police sometimes. She takes good manners very seriously (I think she is a perfectionist). I have told her how she should and should not behave and she thinks everybody should follow our rules (and comments loudly in English when some kids behave differently).

We must be living parallel lives! DD26months does exactly the same thing. DH is the one who gets to deal with it most of the time as he is at home with her right now, but I get my fair share in the evenings and on the weekends.

We went through the same thing with DD7 when she was this age, but the difference with her was that we were not living in the US at the time, so we were sort of comforted (like Oli) with the knowledge that she was only being understood by about 1/4 of the people she was talking to. (Little comfort, I know)

We actually found with DD7 that if we didn't correct her until a few minutes later we'd have less of an aggressive response like what you described with the woman in the restaurant. We would tell her immediately that what she said was not polite or appropriate or nice or not something she should say, but we went into the reasons behind it and alternatives to say later when we were removed from the situation.

We apologized more times than I can count for her when she was 2 though. Most of the time the person she was talking about would be so taken aback by this little person speaking so well that they were less offended than we thought they'd be.

Even to this day DD7 will comment on things like this, but she has learned that if she is going to do this she needs to do it quietly in my ear, or wait until later to say something. I think it has been interesting listening to her try to explain to DD26mths that doing this is not allowed.

Just remember that at 2 the understanding that words have an affect on others isn't completely developed. Neither is the abililty to control the volume with which things come out of their mouths.

Hang in there, it is just a phase and as such it too will pass.

After we saw Barack Obama speak, DD went through a phase of shouting, "Look, there's Barack Obama!" every time we encountered an African-American man. She didn't say much in public then (she was generally a very shy toddler), but that always came out loud & clear.

You mean like the time I was gassing up the car, and a fellow in full motorcycle gear pulled up next to us on his Harley and DS (2?, 3?) called out to me from his carseat, loud and clear:

"Look Mommy, that Boy has Girl Hair!"

Nothing came of it, but I was quite shook up!
Grinity

I had to add another one that just happened yesterday to me. We were at a friend's house and had been swimming, so we all needed to change back into clothes afterwards. I got DD changed, and was working on getting myself changed when she points up to my unclothed top and says (in her loud 2 yr old voice that can be heard from a mile away) "what are those mommy, and why are they falling off?" How I would love to tell her that she is part of the reason they are "falling off". My friend thought it was hysterical

Children, especially toddlers, have this raw truth. I find having a sense of humor helpful. The other day my lovely DD announced loudly that the man who was walking past us was really huge. I could have hushed her but she wasn't lying... just verbally observing. The gentleman the comment was directed at was wonderful. He answered back with yes he is and sat down at the table behind us and had a lovely conversation with my DD. At one point he asked her age and she quickly responded 3 1/2 which shocked him because of her verbal ability. When we left she had to run over and give him a hug. Sometimes those awkward moments turn into something magical.

Thanks everyone for the bonus laughs - it's good to know that we're not alone

I think we may have already started to see some improvements with DD's volume. I asked her if she knew where DS's last chocolate egg had gone and got only a quiet, mumbled response. With the evidence still around her mouth, she whispered "I'm speaking softly so I don't make him feel sad that it's gone."

So off we head into the murky waters of truths, white lies and outright falsities... I just know this is going to be good