Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school "She's very young. She's really young."

So this is the reaction I got the other day when I asked the director of this nice preschool dd goes to about specifics on trying her out in K next fall.
I think she said 3 or 4 times how young dd is. Right, yup, she's young. Almost 4 now. Will be about 4.5 in the fall. A whole 7 months early for K. This does not seem like an outrageous leap ahead to me. Dd is possibly HG, for sure MG.
Anyway, since that was the directors only argument, I figured I'd press ahead and ask if they could at least give her a couple weeks in the class as a trial, depending on what her current teachers say about her later in the spring. She said she'd look into, so that was all I wanted for now.
I was feeling pretty good about dd that day, so avoided being sidetracked. I'd just gotten back from a dr's appt with her where not 1 but 2 people asked if she was about 5, commenting on both her size and her speech. Later that day when I picked her up the teachers were just so excited to tell me she was helping everyone collect their things at the end of the day, giving hugs out and making sure they didn't forget anything.

I really do want to play the whole thing by ear, see if dd even likes it, but I do think she's moving along nicely towards a lot of k readiness, will be able to handle the work and most of all I think she'll enjoy it.

I guess I will update this thread with thoughts as this process goes along...any btdt thoughts from other folks would be appreciated.

Good luck!! Keep us informed.

This reminds me of my son's best friend in his daycare room when he was 3. He said that he hates how long he has to wait after naptime when the teachers have to tie the shoes on all the children before they could go outside. He is happy that he doesn't have to wait as long now, since his friend, N, is allowed to go around as part of the tie-up team. This little 3 year old girl not only could tie her own shoes, but she could tie everyone else's too.

Her mom told me later that N would insist on her Mom packing a extra snack for my son every night. No wonder she was my son's Best Friend!

I'd suggest that you keep smiling, and try to get a written agreement regarding how long the trial will be, and what the criteria will be for continuing or not.

If the school doesn't come up with a doc, you can. You can take notes at the next meeting, write them, up, and say, "Thank you for the meeting. I'm so pleased that you share my concern about finding the best placement for dc's social, emotional, and academic well being. My understanding is that we will have a six week trial..."

good luck!

chris1234 - I just want to say good for you and DC. It's so great you are aware of this at such a young age. I did not truely understand our stiutation until 2nd grade and it was like getting hit with a brick. You can certainly avoid lots of damage by starting early. I wish you continued success. keep us posted.

I love this little story. thanks for sharing.

My DD started K at 4. She was more than ready but sadly the teacher wasn't ready for her, it was her first year teaching K. It was the first of many challenges with the school district. I have absolutely no regrets with her starting earlier and think it was definatley the right choice for this child. If I went with hindsight, she should have had a skip somwhere around 2nd or 3rd grade to prevent some of the problems we had in 4th and 5th. Now it's moot since she homeschools at levels beyond another skip.

Go with your gut, and definately get as much as you can in writing, especially if it is a private school you are paying for.

I don't get this obsession with people being five. I have a girl in my kindergarten class who turned five last month and a new one coming who won't hit her fifth birthday until after school's out for the summer. They're both completely ready to be where they are and I'm lucky to have them!

That said, with that door open, I now have the pre-K teacher trying to fob a couple more 4-year-olds off on me who aren't in any way ready, just to give her a smaller group and make her life easier...you know what they say about "no good deed"....

I have no real advice to give except do what you need to do and go with what YOU know is right. I imagine the director gets a lot of parents who "think" their baby is "gifted" and wish to have them pushed ahead... so when people like us with really advanced kids come along... we're just another "one of those" parents. I know it's hard and I wish you luck. I'm grateful that I'm in a position to not have to worry over it. Since I'm homeschooling my kids... we can go at whatever level they need to be at without people telling me I'm wrong.

Even if she isn't allowed in... you can always supplement with interesting things that she's "in" to and hope they'll move her up later.

Thanks everyone for all the good wishes and support. I did vaguely think that in a couple of months I need to pin them down on length of trial period, but wasn't sure about what would make sense. 2 weeks seems too short, as it did take her at least a couple weeks to acclimate to preschool; at least the 'drop off' part.
Re: onthegomom's comment about being so aware of this early on; it is a LOT easier to see the second time around! We definitely had ' damage' with #1, though we've dug ourselves out of that hole finally!
Lorel - very good thought about having some actual criteria for continuing ~ I think I'm going to check out the county site for what they might have available for 'k' prerequisites and end of year goals...
still smiling