Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Teacher doesn't get it

Last night at open house, I thanked DS's 3rd grade teacher for the stack of projects. (mostly art) On top of my pile was a Plate labled "metamorphis". She said hopefully the kids will remember somethings from this project. "How loud can I possibly scream inside?!" I said nothing and smiled. DS did this and understood it in PRESCHOOL. There could be no better example how out of touch she is with his needs. I'm gonna try and let this go but this is hard.

Any one else want to vent?

Last semester in *5th grade* language arts, DD10 had a homework worksheet where she had to prove mastery of "a" vs. "an". It was hard to restrain myself from writing an email.

I will never forget the first few weeks of school this year. We spent over an hour with DS7's teacher and guidance team showing them test information, work projects he did at home and all sorts of information to help them see that he was not the average first grader and to see how we could help get his needs met. The next week after our meeting the teacher sent home a pile of worksheet papers that DS7 refused to complete...they consisted of circle the things that are blue, cicle 6 balls, color in the object that starts with the letter B. She didn't get why he didn't want to complete these sheets even though we took so much time to let her know that he mastered these skills when he was 3. Arggghhh

Yes, please! I think DS's school does a pretty good job but I think I need to advocate for him before he gets totally turned off w/learning. He cried last week because he always gets the second spelling list & gets both spelling pre-test lists correct every week. He is fussing about math because "he learned this stuff last year and doesn't want to study what he already knows again".

He said he reads a book & doesn't hear the teacher when it's time to change activities, gets in trouble for talking and doesn't turn in papers. He knows worksheets don't count that much so he's lazy about doing them and has several late or zero papers.

No venting right now, but omg Belle, my DD has mastered all those things and she isn't even 3 yeat, she would have totally refused to do those worksheets, how frusterating!

Help. Recently I enter this forum asking for advice about myDS7. I received wonderful imput now I need input about myDS13 recently like today we deceided to switch schools. He continues to have problems socially and academiclly. Our final straw is His history/language arts teacher had the kids take their weekly history test my DS13 received a A+. The techer celebrated the 3 highest grades in front class. My sons grade was not one celebrated. Later she puuled him aside and told him he received a A+ but felt he cheated. My son was devastated. She accused him because he has been a c student since the year began and there was no way he could of received a A. He expressed to her that he found the chapter interesting. She made him take the test again and he mastered it with a A. She never apologizes even though I asked her to. and it just goes on and on. On his benchmark test he received advanced in all subjects except math which was average. He is a avid reader loves poetry. In elementry he received All A's in jr high 7 and 8th c's. Talking to him he has a vocabulary that always sends me to the dictionary. We are a family of 5 childen all very bright. We are a little sheltered. The kids spent alot of time with eachother the teens rather than with friends they. Its common to talk about and debate whats in the paper? Newest books read. Questions how many moons are ther? and so and so. The two older are ok socially but the my 13 year old as he gets older the less he feels differnt. Kids have made fun of him for the way he talks. and teachers sometimes dont understand him and lable him as sarcastic. The school has been terrible to us. His new school I ask for a school phychologist to talk with him and I asked them if the would give them achievment test. They said they would give him a benchmark test. Are the achievment test and the benchmark test the same? Any suggestion on what else to ask for? please any advice would be helpful

I'm wondering how much Racism is playing a role in all of this?

Of course this particular teacher might be a 'just mean' to everyone, and she certianly seems to be encouraging competition by putting the top scorers in front of the class. There is no reason that doing well in school should have to go with being socially isolated, but I think that there is a careful line to walk between healthy and unhealthy competition.

Does your son's middle school have heterogeneous classes or are they ability grouped? If this is his first experience with ability grouping then it's possible that that accounts for the lower grades...but I doubt it. I think private testing would be a very good thing for your son and your family. Maybe you can get group rates? ((humor alert)) Sometimes local universities will do testing for less, but then you get less advice (sometimes.)

Most schools will do IQ and achievement testing if you write a letter stating that you are concerned that there is a learning disability. Sudden drop in grades is a classic sign of a twice exceptional kid who has been covering up a disability and suddently finds that as the expectaions rise, they can't cover up any more.

Do any of these ideas resonate?

Love and More Love,
Grinity

They do. I have prepared a letter for the school principal and I filled a complate with the district. After further questioning I come to relize that she had taken his intellect as sarcasim. He has a great sensohumor That we as a family appreciate and look forward to some silly laughs unfortunately not everyone does.His teacher asked the class on the first week of school.
What are you eating for lunch? Other kids answered sandwich, doritos, nothing, snickers. My son stood up and said a dog. He was sent to alc (in school detention) for dirrupting the class.
Later to find out he had a hotdog in his lunch bag.Apparently this is where his troubles began. He even said recently to me he challenged her on her thoughts about a book they read together in the class. Always debating her theory on the meaning of this story and was quite satisfied when she became flustered and used vocabulary even to high for her just to see her have to run to dictionary. He was playing with her. I am so frustrated!! I dont even know what to say to him. I just listen. Is that disrectful? Thanks for listening!

It isn't nice to play with your food, said the Momma Cat to the kitten...

but our kids will do it if there isn't anything else to do --- no wonder she hates him! Still he is a child, and it isn't his responsibility to refrain from doing what comes so easily. He is exploring and she isn't setting limits. A gradeskip to the next older grade might be a fitting 'punishment.' Sometimes kids like this end up at community college until they grow up enough to go off to college. I worry about his grades being low - it would be good to get to the bottom of that. Maybe new school would solve the problem, but I would be very upfront about what his habits are so far. Does he do his homework?

If anyone else knows how to actually fix the 'playing with your food' problem - I'm all ears! Problem is that they start to look so grown up, and it's harder to pass them off as 'just kidding.'

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I feel your pain. Even teachers who try to work with our kids still don't get the behavior they are seeing. Take this lovely email I got today for example:

"We just wanted to let you know that DD needs to be reminded constantly during the school day that she is not the teacher in charge. She has a tendency to try to take over the classroom and needs to be reminded that she is the student. She will often get up and do what she wants instead of asking permission first. We wanted to ask you to speak to her about the importance of raising her hand and asking permission from a teacher."

Gee, I wonder why she does that? Is she bored? Are you going too slow. Is there something far more interesting than the spelling words she has been able to spell since she was 3?