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I appreciate your "dissenting voice" Roni! I am currently struggle with the same situation (wrote a post elsewhere on the forum). What you're saying is exactly what we're concerned about. We have a 4yr. old son who we are considering starting early (if we're even able to) in Sept., but are concerned about all the things you mentioned. Except that in his case he is big for his age, so I guess that would be in his favor. But everything else (coordination, maturity etc.) he is just a four yr. old boy; we're wondering how much this will change in the next 8 months. He also only misses the cut-off by 12 days. I'm curious how you feel about the need for intellectual stimulation. What if you're parents didn't send you ahead? We're concerned that if we don't meet his needs intellectually, that could lead to other issues...boredom, behavior problems etc.

BBQ,

It's really a tough decision, and I'm sure it also depends on exactly how intellectually advanced he is. We can definitely see it coming with our son, too.

Again, I am only speaking from personal experience, but I should probably clarify a few things:

1. Though I found it difficult to be so different, I was not socially unsuccessful (homecoming court, student council, etc). If one judges from a standard of "A" grades and number of yearbook photos, I did just fine! However, because I was socially conscious, I did spend a lot of energy on working towards social goals. I was in an environment where my physical and emotional maturity put me at a disadvantage. This energy and creativity could have been spent intellectually.

2. I was so far above my peers in language and reading comp that there was really no answer for my parents' dilemma inside of the public school system where we lived. Homeschooling was not an option. Placing me up one grade did stop me from being as bored as I had been because I was experiencing more challenge in my areas of comparative weakness, and therein lies the dilemma: my academic weaknesses and social skills were strengthened, while my intellectual strengths grew only to the level of my personal investment outside of my school days.

I think it depends on your individual kiddo. If he loves interacting with kids his own age, if he's a very physical little boy whom you can see will very much enjoy competitive athletics, if he is quite bright but not so much so that remaining among his peers would become a great burden for him...well, then you really do have some challenging choices to make!

Tough choice after tough choice. Isn't that parenting in a nutshell?

I absolutely agree, CFK, although I doubt that the ratio is quite 1:1. School districts have probably seen a lot of kids experience great frustration and failure because they weren't emotionally ready for such a challenging social jump, regardless of their test scores. For the kids for whom it does work (and I was definitely a success story, by all external standards), it is a fantastic solution and relief for both them and the families who support them.

Roni makes some very good points.

I've written elsewhere in this forum on my experiences. I was able to connect to other boys through sports. This made it a lot easier for me once they got old enough to carry a conversation - around age 12 or so.

Other parents on this forum have posted about their children making friends within a given social group as well. Theater and music sticks out as one environment.

Finding a social group or two that your kid fits into is seems to be a critical task for raising a G/T kid who is accelerated.

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Today, Mr W went to two parties with his age peers and then hung out with some older boys. I was able to observe his behavior with all groups in the same day.

As a 24 mo old boy, he prefers and has the most fun with 3-5 year old boys. He hung out with them today and ignored the 2 year olds. The older boys are much more stronger and rougher than he is, but he just guts it out. (And he goes to bed at 6pm and sleeps 12 hours!!!!)

For Mr W to be socially balanced, he will need to interact with kids older than he is.

We have the same situation. DS8 has friends of many ages, but socially he fits best if kids 1-3 years older than he is are playing. We're homeschooling, so that makes this sort of fluidity easier to find and means that his age is really a non-issue. And he is big for his age. But I think there are plenty of GT kids for whom older kids are a better social fit than kids their own age.

That's true too! I guess that's why we're really wrestling with this!

Well, keep in mind that almost nothing in education is irreversible. There are costs to every choice, of course, but kids are resiliant, and if something doesn't work, you can always regroup and try something else.

I think many of us parents are perfectionists in our own right--the apple and the tree being what they are, after all --and it can become paralyzing if we think we can/must find the "right" answer. Don't get overwhelmed with it. Besides, the "right" answer today possibly/probably won't work in a year or two anyway.

Oh, and if you haven't read this article, you must! It should be mandatory readiing for any parent making these big decisions about school: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/least-worst.htm It's a sanity-supporter!

Thanks Kriston. This point of yours DW and I have really taken to heart. IMHO this is the best take-away from this forum.

Happy to help. Reminding myself of this has kept me (more or less) sane when I started feeling pressured. Deep breaths, do your best, and don't get overwhelmed.

If your child/ren feel/s seen, loved and supported, it will all work out.