Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school how intense, emotional, and hyper is your child?

Intense - mellowing with age
emotional - hiding it more with age but still very
hyper - very very and why can't this be the one mellowing with age??????? Agh!

This is how I felt with DS6. It doesn't end. I still have moments where I'd like an OFF button. BUT, it does get easier as he becomes more self-sufficient and doesn't depend on me for 24/7 entertainment.

Now if I could just mute my Chatty Cathy (DD4). Wow, I feel sorry for my parents now!!! LOL

'Dialled up' is exactly the term we have been using for our daughter since a few months after she was born. She's not hyperactive, but very intense.

She grilled me for about an hour a few months back about about how our bodies knew how to grow. We ended up making a DNA helix out of pipe cleaners (chenille sticks) including different coloured cleaners for the base pairs. She is wonderful, but can be be very exhausting.

I realize the terms to describe them are necessary. But I really try to refrain from saying intense, emotional, dramatic, but unfortunately those are the exact words needed to explain to the general population.

I wish there were new words to reframe it from their perspective. Their feelings are intense, they feel more deeply, they react, and so in comparing to the normal population, it is more intense/emotional/dramatic.

But from where they are, it is "normal" - a new normal range. In fact, perhaps from where they are standing, we (or the general population) don't feel enough, are less passionate, less intense and not dramatic sufficiently. Heheh

A matter of perspective I suppose.

We really can't tell our children "be less intense, be less dramatic, don't feel this/that" because they can't. It is part of them. I mean, these exact intensities is what makes them really good at lots of other things.

I'm trying to figure out a way to let child be and feel. But how to manage those "intensities"? I don't know. Appreciate suggestions!

When I found the information listed in the post below it gave me a new respect for my child.

"Overexcitabilities in Gifted Children" (Can someone tell me how to post a link?)

I try to talk with my children everyday about their day in a one on one situation. If they feel I understand and they can talk about feelings it can be a whole lot better.

There are books on dealing with emotional needs on gifted.

I hope that helps.

My son has been making trading type cards for 3 years (like pokemon.) He just talks and talks about them even though he knows I don't get it. He still gets very excited. I just listen and admire. He has always liked projects. I think 3 years of this is intense exploration.

Yes, my dd3.5 is this way, high energy yes, but not what'd I'd call hyper. She is, above all else, EMPHATIC in practically everything she does. Ds was somewhat this way (I thought he was the worst this could get!) but dd surpasses in some ways - fortunately since he has outgrown a lot of this, I firmly believe she will too. Right now we are having lessons about being truthful and gentle. And I am working more on my consistency because I have been pretty lax.

DS4 is intense, VERY emotional, and not hyper, but very energetic and BUSY. He wants to be doing something constantly, which was absolutely exhausting before he was old enough to entertain himself (just the last few months). He doesn't like to watch tv, not because he doesn't have the attention span, but because he says it's boring. He stays for afterschool care twice a week, where they often have a movie on, and he will walk away from the movie to build with LEGOs or draw. If we're in the car, he wants to be drawing or reading. If we're getting groceries, he'll follow me down the aisles talking to himself because he's deep in imaginative play--in his head. He wants and needs to be ENGAGED in something at all times.

I think my mother-in-law thought we spent too much time playing with him when he was a toddler, but now she's taking care of him after school two days a week, and she never fails to comment on his amazing energy level when I pick him up.

Incidentally, my grandmother, my mother and I are all the same way--always turned "on" and looking for something engaging and/or useful to do (picture an 84 year old chopping wood!). This has been a huge problem for me in the work world, as I seem to master jobs relatively easily and quickly reach a plateau where I can do my work in my sleep, which is like torture to me. My desire to actually be working/engaged/challenged/developing skills seems to annoy bosses who simply want someone to warm a seat or be there the one day they need them. Sigh. I know my seemingly boundless energy also mystifies and exhausts my husband, who would never turn down an opportunity to take a nap.

Yay! I'm not the only one.

We have the same DD. Our DD 2.9 is the same way. You've described her so well!

Over Thanksgiving, DH, DS 4 mos and I all went to bed at 10 pm while our relatives continued to babysit DD, who stopped napping a year ago. It took 6 adults several shifts to keep up with her throughout the day.

DS 4 mos is so different. Although he's even more physically strong than DD was, and he's quite alert, he is serene and happy all the time.

At 4 months, DD 2.9 was still fussy 24/7 and only willing to be held by me. In fact, I don't think I'd left the house yet. I can't believe how different life can be with an infant who is not so high maintenance. I can actually see having more kids, and I feel more than ever that DD is 3 kids in one.