Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy something to study please

My son does not have to study in school yet. The first day he brings home the work he knows it. He just reviews it the day before the test and he is all As. He does not have a photgraphic memory, just a good memory.

They have made some adjustments at school but don't seem to agree to do what I think he needs. The school tried to minimize his boredom, by saying oh lots of kids say that and gifted kids just don't need to study. Well my kid loves to learn so I don't agree.

I want to help him learn to study something that is challenging. How can I do this? I think it will need to be fun or interesting. He is in 3rd Grade. From what I hear from a few parents most of 3rd graders are overwhelmed with all the spelling, science and social studies tests.

He excell in math. He has lots of interests including nature, animals, science and sports.

What is your son interested in? This would be my first thought. And your topic says something to study...what do you mean by study? I would phrase it as something to learn... This may just be me but studying never sounds like fun although I do love to read, learn, do...when learning something new.

What does your son like to do with his free time?

Let him browse around the non fiction section at the library until something strikes his fancy. It can be a good place to start and usually you can keep branching out from there flowing from one thing to another. I don't do this with my child yet he is only 4 but, I tend to do this myself and I rarely have times where I am not obsessively studying over something.

DS in 3rd Grade is already loves to learn and is ambitious with computer programming, home projects and reading. He did Chess and robotics class last summer. So far he has not been afraid to try stuff. Last summer we took a one day fly fishing class. We only did this just to try something new and it was free. The teacher was very serious and it was all adults and he was just fine.

When I say study, I mean you keep reviewing information until you get it. So that could mean being quized, rereading, copying information, ect. The other 3rd graders are putting lots of effort into remembering all the spelling words, science and social study information. I'm concerned he is not getting the challenge experience with studying. I've talked to school on meeting his needs but that is another story.

Okay, so you are wanting him to experience not knowing something and having to put in the work to learn it. This may still never look like it does for some kids.
What kind of computer programming is he doing? My DS8 loves the computer and I am trying to get him a tutor for C+ programming which I think will be a real challenge for him.
It sounds like you do a lot of really great things with him.

He is doing SCAT. He is just playing in it with no directions. (I wonder if there is a guide book.) He made a simple animation. He made a dot character and it slid over to hit a box and made a word bubble appear that said happy birthday. I loved that.

He knows how to work hard to learn something. But I think studying for a test is different. right? Do you think he doesn't need this experience if he is challenged and ambitious in other ways?

We have a marble run type toy with flexible tube marble runs on. I said I just can't do it. Well, he went back to it another day and figured it out. It was for 8 yr old but it was very tricky.

I had the same thoughts last year with my DD7. She just knew everything they were teaching in her school class and never had to apply herself. The teacher actually just let her do whatever she wanted, computer time, reading, etc. when she was giving the lesson to the class. We were afraid she was not "learning how to learn" like the rest of the kids. She never had to sit in a seat and have a lesson with the teacher and practice it and then do the actually work. We advocated hard for a grade acceleration which she was granted this year. This year for 3rd it also is a full-time gifted/high achiever blend class so they actually work a grade up in language arts and have an accelerated math program. I can't say she really still needs to study or anything as much as the other kids, but it is far better than where she would have been at without the grade acceleration.

I would guess what you are looking for is something where he can participate in an actually learning session or class of some sorts. Are there community classes he could take? Our comunity offers different computer courses, languages, etc. even for kids of this age.

You might consider a 2nd language, so kids love Latin.
Grinity

Hi Dorothy,

I'm new here, so please bear w/ me The way you described your DD7's experience is exactly what we are experiencing w/ DD in 1st grade. Her teacher let's her pretty much do whatever she wants, and gives her "special projects" where she gets to research a topic of her choice. Luckily she is well-behaved and self-motivated, but clearly this is no way to go through school! Ha! I actually found out tonight that her teacher is having her correct the other students' work!

So this is my question for you: Other than boredom in math and spelling (which has to be done as a whole class) DD is really happy at school--she loves all the independence, loves her teachers and friends, etc. I think she needs a full grade acceleration for next year, but I am hesitating discussing it w/ the school b/c she is content. How did you decide to push for the skip? What was the decision process you went through, and how did you present your request to the school?

Thanks!
hhugh

That's what my first-grade teacher did with me! In retrospect, I keep wondering why I was never accelerated, but it just never came up. Two of my brothers were extremely bright and years ahead of me, so I was only what was expected in my house. Mom just made sure we learned in spite of school, and fought the school in many other matters. My brothers came out fine, but I have to say I ended up lazy. I hope I can avoid that with DS7.

I just want to pick you up on this - do you mean the teacher is telling you these have to be done as a whole class, or are you just assuming it? Because these are two areas where my DS6 is getting individualised work, and I think this is pretty common, actually. He gets his own group of spelling words (sometimes words he's spelt wrong in his written work, sometimes a printed sheet of words with a particular pattern that he and a couple of other good spellers in the class get together). For maths his teacher uses a lot of different material, mostly provided by the school but also including the odd ALEKS worksheet from home. It seems to be going well. If these two are the only problem areas for your DD, I think I'd be pushing for differentiation in those two areas, and only arguing for whole-grade acceleration if they try telling you differentiation is impossible. (You might find that differentiation becomes less impossible once they find out that's your fall-back position, too :-)

Hi Hhugh,

Welcome to the boards. When my DD was in 1st, the teacher let her "teach" the class. She stood in front of the class and went over the morning work, calling on kids to answer, etc. Plus going around helping kids individually with seat work or reading. At first I thought it was kind of cute, but I soon realized it was developing into behavior issues as she was ostracizing herself from the rest of the class. The teacher had given her the 2nd grade math book and would meet with her individually to go over any questions she had, but she never had any "real" lessons. She also had her own spelling words. We had her tested at the midyear point and asked for her to be able to actually go into a 2nd grade classroom for reading and language arts. When the school year was coming to an end, we realized we could not put her into 2nd grade as she had finished the year with kids doing reading, language arts, and had finished the 2nd grade math book so we begged for and were finally granted an acceleration for her. It wasn't easy or pretty, but the the hard work paid off.

Hands on Equations might be of interest.

Thanks for your reply. That's a good question. From conversations w/ DD and her teacher, it sounds like the class all sits together and slowly (slowly, slowly...) goes over the math and spelling lessons. Whereas, in most other portions of the day, DD can do her own thing while the rest of the class does their worksheets/reading/centers, etc. So DD is actually getting some individualized "work", but not "instruction" ie she gets harder spelling words to do on her own, but not lessons teaching her the spelling rules that apply, etc. So math and spelling are so painfully boring b/c she has to sit and wait while the lesson is being taught.

And honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I want her to know real challenge (common theme on this board, it sounds like!) on the other, learning patience with slower learners is an important life-skill too.

Thanks for your help. I will try to stop stealing this thread now! Sorry!

Be thankful that your child is at least doing the work. I have the child who just simply refuses to do the 3rd grade work b/c he already knows it. Teachers will not differentiate b/c they say he has to show he can do their work first

Patience is a virtue, but asking a 5 or 6 year old to practice it for more than minutes at a time is asking quite a lot, from my personal perspective. Hard work is also a virtue. You will send your daughter a message loud and clear by how you handle this situation: Which virtue matters more in your family?

I myself do find 'being left to do one's own thing' in 1st grade sounds very appealing in a romantic sort of way. But given the current society that we live in, I don't think you are going to be sending the message that you really want to send by leaving her to that. I think that - at least during the 'group work'-you could expect her to be sent up to a classroom that is teaching what she needs to be learning. And I do mean ASAP, not at the end of the school year.

If the school is willing to do formal IQ and achievement testing, that would be a good start. If not, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to have that done professionally before doing the gradeskip - but no matter what the tests say, her current situation isn't meeting her current educational needs, and therefore needs to change.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Grinity,

Wow, thank you! That was such practical, yet inspirational advice. I think I am going to like it here

Thanks again,
Holly

And we are so happy to have you here with us Holly!
Grinity

I have an excellent memory as well - steps over into photographic sometimes - and never needed to learn how to study. After I got to university, I ended up discovering that I actually do WORSE on exams when I spend time studying. Your son may be like me: his mind picks up everything it's ever going to on the first or second pass. If that's true, my opinion is he'll probably never benefit from the experience of "studying for a test"; his time would be much better spent learning NEW things.

I'd like to see someone not study for a Thermo or Organic Chem Final at a top tier university and get an A.

The real question is what amount of preparation is necessary to meet one's goals? And how do you know with certainty what that preparation is?

Your son loves math; my father was a mathematician and LOVED music. I'm sure you've heard of the connection between the two subjects; have you considered piano lessons?

If so, please consider the Frances Clark "Music Tree" series. There is more than enough in there to keep any kid challenged. Piano pedagogy has changed in the last twenty years; we now teach kids theory, improvisation, composition,how to count difficult rhythms, as well as graded pieces. Kids now spend a LOT more time on the intermediate levels so that when they get to Mozart, Beethoven etc. they are so prepared.

DD8 is now at the early intermediate level (I've been her teacher for the last three years). If you give her a simple piece, she can transpose it into different keys after learning it (Frances Clark teaches one how to read music by intervals, which is very mathematical!). DD finds school easy, but her piano lessons are always challenging, and she's slowly, but surely realizing that she won't breeze through everything.

Other instruments are great, too. Piano is best for budding composers, because of seeing music on more than one staff.

While patience is an essential skill in life learning to accept that your needs don't count at school is probably not the way to develop self esteem.

I completely agree!

Theater generally takes effort, in the sense that it combines memorization, group activities, and lots of practice to coordinate everyone.

I acted in my first play in 5th grade.

I'm not sure how you find age-appropriate ones, though.

I'd like to second the poster who said piano (or another musical instrument). DS4, also a mathy kid, is moving more quickly through Suzuki Book 1 than anyone might have imagined. However, if he learns a song quickly, it just means he moves on to the next, harder one. We've been learning a lot of good life lessons about daily practice, staying focused, not getting frustrated if the song isn't perfect right away, etc.

I also heard a presenter who spoke about the need for gifted kids to practice performance of some sort (music, theater, etc.) Often, they are so "in their own heads" that they have a hard time relating to an audience. This is problematic when they enter the work world and have to talk with supervisors and subordinates.

Acting in a number of plays really didn't help with me being able to talk with supervisors or subordinates.

Possibly because they are taking time away from when I could happily be in my own head.

I suppose I may be giving off the vibe of "please go away, you're interrupting me thinking about things that have nothing to do with my job."

I'm not nearly as gifted as my son, and I have that problem!

I just quit a job earlier this week (though I was an independent contractor) because my IQ was clearly getting in the way. I either had to dumb myself down considerably and stop caring or QUIT because I cannot do a job where I have to rely on others doing their job well and on time when in fact they do not and I cannot change it yet I am the one who gets blamed in the end. Long story short, In 35 years of my life, this was the first time EVER that I had to quit something because of not being able to "adjust". It only took me 3 weeks to realize it was a complete mismatch and I am happy I could recognize it this early on! My kids have their happy mommy back ... and now I can have my head full of my own thoughts! yay me!