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I was quivering at the thought of asking this question on the "regular" parenting boards because I know their answer will be "don't let him help then" "that's dangerous" While I'm at it I'll tell him there is no Santa Claus either...

So we're expecting a new baby in 2 months now. DS is 18months old now & tries to help with EVERYTHING!! He loves helping me switch over the laundry, get plates for the table & just started helping me with the dishes (I use the term 'helping' pretty loosely here...). So I know when we have his little brother he's going to want to help!

I've been WRACKING my brain thinking about how I'm going to make this work!!

He can't help with food time (breastfeeding), I don't even want to think of the mess with diaper changes, although "can you get me a diaper?" might be possible, we'll see. Bath-time, NO WAY!! Although Lucas can certainly sit beside me and splash in the water a little. Other then that, newborns really don't DO much. I'm sure Lucas would love to be carrying around his little brother, and trying to entertain him :S.

We had some practice as my cat had a kitten... it was a good experience for Lucas! He learned what GENTLE means, and that kittens don't always have go back in their kennels ALL the time . Also that cat's don't like it when you hold them upside down by their back legs... See, he was 'helping' by returning the kitten to his home ALL the time. He still frequently brings the kitten to us, but at least now it's right-side-up with two arms around the kitten's belly (most of the time...)

I think the babe is going to spend allot of time in the play-gym just to keep him away from Lucas & his helping ways; but I know that also is going to mean he'll be buried in an avalanche of toys that Lucas tries to give him...

*sigh* I'm going to have my hands full!!!

Any suggestions for Big-Brother tasks for a little but very bright and helpful guy?

We have a 2 1/2 year gap between Wolf and Bear. Before Bear came home Wolf got his own baby doll with bottles and diapers, etc... He could take care of his baby while I took care of his brother. There was also the explanation that when the baby gets a bit older Wolf could help more. He could teach him to talk, try to make him smile when he was crying, play with him, teach him all about everything. The getting diapers part helped too. In the meantime he could help by helping Mommy, getting a blanket for nursing time, being quiet when the baby was sleeping, being a good boy to keep Mommy's stress level down, etc...

What we found though was that once Bear was home and Wolf realized that he was just a loud, smelly, Mommy time sink he became much less interested with the baby. When Bear got to the more interactive stage there was a golden time where Wolf would make faces to get the baby to smile and bring him toys and pick up what he dropped. Then Bear became mobile and went after his brother's toys and the novelty REALLY wore off.

Did the diaper really help after Bear came home? I had thought of that (it's an up-hill battle with DH on that one! :P) but we already has tons of stuffed-animals and I figured I'd just stick a diaper on one and hopefully that would be good enough for DS. That was he could mimic (which he LOVES to do too).

These guys are only going to have a 20 months gap.

I have a friend who had a second son when her first was about 15 months. Anyways, we visited them when their first was 17 months, they had a newborn and DD was 3 months old. Mostly what their 17 month old did was "help" by interacting. He pretty much ignored his newborn brother (wasn't much to do there...) but with DD he was showing her nose to her, bringing her toys, bringing books to my friend to read to himself and DD, etc. Honestly, I was really, really impressed by how social and helpful he was. I don't think she did anything special for him to be that way, she just tried to make sure he got enough attention (as was possible), which sometimes involved herself and her husband tag teaming the two kids before her husband went back to work.

Oh, and what about carrying around the newborn in a sling to avoid the avalance of toys? If you can figure out how to nurse in a sling, you'll save yourself a ton of time!

Another thought... can you make up things for him to help with. During nursing sessions, maybe you could prepare a glass of water in a spillproof cup and ask him to grab it for you, or a book, or something along those lines. It's not necessary for you, but it'll keep him busy.

My DD's are just over 2 years apart- 3y9mo and 18mo now. My oldest DD has always LOVED helping with EVERYTHING so I can definitely identify. When baby DD came along, big sis was right there all the time. Having a toy baby helped a lot so she could mimic me. Even think of things like turning out the lights in the room when you put baby down for a nap.
We had her get diapers, get wipes, throw dirty diapers away, get blankets, etc. Pretty much anything she could do without harming herself or the object (or the baby!), I tried to have her involved -- that kept my sanity as well as hers. If I didn't let her help, DD would have driven me nuts!

Good luck! It's a crazy and trying time, but it goes by fast!

When I was nursing My DD I had a basket of new inexpensive toys to give to help him deal with the waiting. He could also sit by me during nursing and I would read a book.

There are lots of things he can do to help. Have him sing sweetly to the baby when she is getting her diaper changed or a bath. He can show the baby a picture book and teach the baby what everything is. He can push the stroller. I think you will be fine. Your a good Mom. Just enjoy it. Give up dusting for a while - it's worth it.

*DOH!* curse my mommy-dummy brain!! I meant DOLL!!

Thanks for the suggestions guys!

It's just so hard as I try to adapt EVERYTHING we do into something more appropriate for his physical and mental abilities. The world just isn't made of very small & smart hands .

If I'm really lucky maybe he'll never grow out of being so helpful! (yeah right!) but we've done things like gotten him small brooms (which he then refuses to use, because he has to use the big-boy broom) and I think I'll get him some plastic plates to wash up when "we" are doing the dishes . I just KNOW it's going to be the same with his little brother.

Plus we are dealing with the terrible-twos so if you don't let him help... :S

My DS was 22 months old when DD was born. I had similar fears. Once DD was born, DS just knew how to act around her, what he could help with, etc... trust in your DS! He'll be fine!

LOL I figured that. Yes, it did, to an extent at least.