Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion underperforming

Hi,
I'm not sure where to post this question. I think it's something that kids (parents?) struggle with all over the board. But my husband and I are at our wits end and don't know what to do. Talking with the teacher has not yielded any effective suggestions. I've read a number of books and also haven't found any golden bullets. I'm hoping to find tried-and-true tips from those who have been there and are doing it.

My 4th grade daughter consistently underperforms in math. If it's just not her thing (she's not inherently interested), I'm okay with it to some extent. She has possible 2e issues (huge discrepancy on WISC-IV, with working memory and processing speed lagging greatly behind verbal), and this may also be a factor. Thru 3rd grade, she began struggling with math, esp with timed tests, esp on assignments with multi-step instructions (she'd neglect to read the directions, for example). Okay, there's the possible 2e talking.

But now it's like she's not even trying, and that I DO have a hard time with. She tells me that she's the smartest in her class in math, but she got a D on her last test. On another assessment, she got a 50%, all due to careless errors (forgetting to write answer down, although could see it in her work in the margin, for example). And this is spreading to non-math assignments too: She says homework is done and seems genuinely surprised when I point out that she didn't do an entire section. Yesterday I asked her to do her Sunday School homework. She sat down for 3 minutes and declared she was done. When I questioned her, she admitted that she "couldn't get" one of the questions. I asked her to try harder, and when she opened her book I saw that she had not one but four questions left incomplete. It only took her a few minutes to truly finish, but I am so disheartened. Now she's lying rather than trying.

We've spoken with her many times about this. Last year we introduced the concept of grades to her, and that was briefly motivating. (Before then, she honestly thought she'd done well on a test where she got 5 out of 20 wrong.) I've shown her repeatedly that she would have gotten an A on this or that assignment (which she really cares about, being somewhat competitive) except for her careless errors. I've explained that she is missing opportunities--to be in the "fun" reading group, to be invited to join the enrichment program she wanted to be in--because she's not demonstrating what she can do. Last year she struggled with feeling stupid and humiliated when she was put in a remedial math group. So I know she cares about showing competency, but I am completely out of ideas on how to get her to actually do it.

Tearing my hair out....

I'm sure someone will be able to post some tips who have experienced this but I just wanted to offer my support. I know you have to be frustrated. I also don't think you will find an easy golden bullet. What you described about Sunday school homework and having to sit down with her and redirect her attention back is more in line with what you will probably be doing for a while. Habits are not formed over night. They are habits because we are consistent in our approach. I suspect you will need to devote a lot of one on one time with her at home during homework time and reinforce the components of how to tackle the assignment. Doing this with her will establish habits and skills that she will find herself doing in the class.

Also, do you make her do the incorrect problems over? My DD9 really woke up last year when all of her papers came home and I made her redo those she missed. This was a great opportunity to go through material to see if she really understood it as well as a great incentive for her to pay more attention to what she was doing. It was also a great time to reinforce the belief that it's easier to do it right the first time. I don't know if this will help any in your DD's case but it worked well for us.

Yes, I do point out the incorrect answers and ask her to try again. (I usually try to frame it as "oops!" rather than a reprimand, though.) I also sometimes grade her homework so that she can understand what getting 6 out of ten wrong means, for instance.

I do sometimes sit with her to do homework, redirecting as Katelyn's mom suggests. Other times I simply am in the room, supervising generally and helping when she gets stuck. She almost never completes assignments all alone in her room or wherever. We try to help her with homework habits (prompting her to empty her folder as soon as she gets home, use an agenda to keep track of assignments, and check to make sure she has papers before she goes to school).

We also spend a few minutes every day doing math practice (flashcards or whatever), reinforcing the idea that continuous practice helps solidify such skills.

So I feel like we are doing the obvious stuff toward modeling good habits and the like. What have we missed?