Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Math confusion....

Are there gifted classes offered that he doesn't qualify for some reason?

Has his IQ been formally tested? Is the tester someone you can turn to for advice?

One thing is clear, he doesn't have much work ethic, and this work ethic isn't likely to develop under the current situation.

Of course you want him to be a good citizen, but maybe his behavior is a cry for help? Would you deny a child with disabilities access to a special classroom that would better help them learn until that child could bring their behavior up to par?

I would contact the tester and get some advice. I would crank up the EPGY a level or two and see what happens. Ideally, he should have lots of chances to learn to live with the challenge of learning, yes?

It is hard to sort out the motivation level of our kids sometimes... any hope for some fun/challenge over the summer? That helped out DS13 tremendously at that age. He felt like he was attending Hogwarts to be with kids who love to learn and classes that were interesting. Very Magical.

Grinity

I don't know why this question makes me laugh! No I do know, because I have finally realized that nothing I do will ever be "the thing" for our kid that makes his school life run smoothly once and for all. When I accept this, then I can even celebrate it, revel in it! Seriously though, I tried to look at things one at a time as much as possible and always attack the variable which I sensed to be the biggest at that moment.

In third grade that turned out to be high anxiety. This eventually involved going head to head with a very experienced teacher and TELLING her (no more asking) that DS9 would be allowed to leave the room and look for another adult in the building at any time during the day when he was feeling overwhelmed. That helped a lot.

In 4th grade his teacher and student teacher were both a dream. DS10 was quirky and weird like he always is, but he was not only accepted, but appreciated and celebrated for being his own unique self. Sometimes he worked more and sometimes less (not bad attitude though), but the teacher adapted. What a great year for me!

A fringe benefit of the fabulous teachers was that we got to see that even in a great setting, SOMETHING was going on that still needed to be addressed. He'd been diagnosed with ADHD, dysgraphia, anxiety, but at that point we still thought it might be maturity, asynchronous development, ?? stuff.

5th grade hit and he started at the magnet gifted school full time. He was doing great socially and "okay" academically with one teacher, but miserable in every respect with the other teacher. We addressed the anxiety piece again, went back to counseling and saw some improvement, but by the end of 5th grade I had figured that I could home school and work both if 6th wasn't better - I work at a University so doable.

In 5th grade we also tried two different ADHD meds; one which made him too anxious and another which made him sleepy. I think a lot/most/? ADHD people don't need meds to do what they want in life and when he was smaller i wasn't going to try anything. At the end of summer we tried a third medication and it worked. The difference in focus on things he doesn't want to do is unbelievable. We were told at some point along the line that people with ADHD often have "hyper-focus" on things they are into - hence the reading on the bed for hours at a time, not being distracted by anything.

Anyway, on medication this year his work is more consistent and complete, and he's still his funny, quirky self, and still sort of immature, and way up and down on scores in different areas. He's never going to be the straight A student personality, but if he just can find his passion, he'll do something amazing!

I don't know what next year will bring, but I'm enjoying a little breather right now! (Sorry to go on - you did ask, right?)

Good point The last few days at school have actually been good ones for him...I don't know if this is what's helping, but I have him go on the treadmill for 20 minutes, take a TBSP of Barlean's flaxseed oil, 100 mg of L-Theanine, only protein for breakfast, AND what I really think is helping him keep on track, is that every morning, he has been taking a marker and putting a little dot on the back of his hand reminding him to "focus" etc....lol So far so good and the best part is, is that HE wants to do all this too

Hi master of none! I'm so glad I'm not the only one Just got off Amazon and ordered about a bizillion books on the subject-lol An interesting looking one is "Upside Down Brilliance" and "The Edison Trait"... My DS is a very visual-spatial learner, so I'm excited to read and do some more "research" haha

Hi Grinity (and everyone)... Thanks so much for all of your kind replies I don't feel so alone anymore! You asked about formal testing...Yes, we took DS to Dr. Deborah Ruf ...LOVE her!...He is on level 3 of giftedness...After seeing her last year, we were all fired up to advocate, which we successfully did. Last year was pretty good...He had two tutors that worked with him one- on -one (higher math and research projects where he got to put together power point presentations and present to his class) He loved being taken out of the class room for this...Last year, the g/t teacher decided not to have him in her g/t classes because she, (not us) felt he might be better just "one-on-one"....She didn't say it, but I know she just didn't wat to deal with all of his questions and enthusiasm. From my observation, you look at the kids she has selected for her classes, and they are your typical "over-acheivers who wouldn't dare make a fuss" type of kids.......Granted, this g/t teacher has 3 schools she is working with and I'm sure she is overwhelmed....Not having my truly gifted creative kid, who constantly asks questions and questions authority in her g/t class would probably make her life easier- lol Now it's this year............We had understood that he WOULD be in her g/t classes now and also be taken out with her for one-on-one math.....Received an e-mail from her saying after talking with his teacher, that being in the g/t class would "disrupt the flow" of the class....Ugh. His teacher doesn't understand that when he is finally engaged in something interesting, he is the most inventive, fun, imaginative kid!!! He goes to kids mensa events, science museum camps, lego league, imagination destination,etc....and never, to my knowledge, "disrupts the flow" He is currently being taken out once every 6 days for about an hour one-on-one and that's it. It's clear he needs more and so I'm back to the drawing board and will be shooting out an e-mail to dear g/t teacher....Wish us luck, sorry this is so long!!! Have a good day everyone

Thanks so much Benny for sharing your story! What stood out for me was your comment about "hyper-focusing" That is so my son! Like I said before, I believe he could be borderline ADD...I am very hesitant to try any type of medications, but then I read your success story, and I start to think maybe??? His creativity is unbelievable and that's what makes him so special. I don't want to mess with that, so medication really scares me...Especially when he is so borderline. Then again I think, well, what if it DOES help??? All of our lives would be so much EASIER! Which one finally worked for your sons focusing??? The last few days have been good ones, and I'm going to be advocating for him being taken out more during the school day, which I know will help. I'm glad you are finally getting a breather with your son!!! Cheers!!!

It sounds like your DS is really motivated to make class work for him. This healthy attitude and a plan that he is vested in sounds like he is doing what is going to be good for him, for his whole life!

Our son is on Vyvanse, and the reason we decided to try it was because we could see depression creeping in from the feeling of being overwhelmed. Our DS is very "out of the box" and the medication does not subdue his creativity at all. If you ever get closer to making that decision, I imagine you'll do what we all seem to do and read everything you can find about the options. I am a big believer in meds when they're the right choice, but I would absolutely not go for a medication with a happy, motivated child. It sounds to me like you and your DS are working as a team to face issues head on. My guess would be that it is the school environment that is not what it should be, not your child.

On that note, since when do GT teachers "choose" who will be in their classes? Or the classroom teacher for that matter? Granted, I might not push to get my son into a classroom with a teacher who didn't want him, but I think access to GT Ed is a right, not just a privilege. I'm still amazed at how many GT teachers I read about on this forum who don't seem to have much understanding of giftedness. And remember, an "easy" life is not necessarily the best one for any kid.

Hello master of none and everyone Wondering how it's going with your dd7??? I'm hoping it's going better and if it's not, I want to offer some hope!!! Wow, let me tell you, it has been a whirlwind with my ds...Wondering if he has ADD, disrespect issues, behavior problems etc...Pulling my hair out with wondering "What the heck is going on??!!??"...Desperately trying to find an answer!!! Well, it was as simple as getting him appropriate ability-level work...Having to fight for it and not backing down. He is like a completely different kid!!! YAY!!! Don't get me wrong...He still has his moments of "blank looks" haha but it is SO much better than before. The kid was so bored!!! Now I look back, and it all seems so logical, so simple....But when you have teachers doubting your child, you sometimes look for all the negatives...What could you be missing??? His teacher even said to me, "Have you thought of medication?"After convincing and demanding that the school meet his needs, I have to tell you, it is pure joy now!!! The school has been wonderful...He is pulled out for g/t program, has a one-on-one tutor for math and research projects, AND also has a private science mentor!!! HORRAY!!! He is SO HAPPY I look back now at how confused I was thinking that it might be ADD or something else, when it was as simple as just plain old boredom...Wow. Just another reason to keep trusting your heart (and childs)

wow! how did you get all that? How long has this been in place? So are you saying you have met his needs with out full grade accelloration?

Last year he had the one-on-one tutoring but not the g/t program or science mentor. I believe last year, the g/t coordinator didn't exactly "want" my ds in her program, because it would have been too much of a "challenge" (lol) for her. I've noticed she chooses very well behaved kids who don't question a whole lot...And they use the g/t program as a "reward" (Don't get me started haha)Well fast forward to this year...G/t teacher said due to "time constraints" the one-on-one tutoring he had last year, wouldn't be possible this year...AND his 4th grade teacher thought it was best that he stay in the classroom the whole time to reniforce the core basics due to random test scores, ugh. So g/t coordinator agreed with this and then a week or two into the school year, trouble began. I knew in my heart that ds was bored silly but kept hearing doubts from his 4th grade teacher. Finally in October, I had enough. I knew what he was capable of. I mean, the kid is pg and kids were in the g/t program that were certainly high acheivers but I highly doubt truly belonged there. So I basically said to both his teacher and g/t teacher that things have to change. This was unacceptable and I wanted this, and this, and this.........or I was going to ask for acceleration on three subjects. They knew I had already made an appointment for this action with the principal and school psychologist. The principal was on my side. I think they both realized I was dead serious and wasn't backing down. They know what his IQ was, read full reports, he's a level 3...Clearly in need of something more. Next day I received a lovely e-mail from both 4th grade teacher and g/t teacher granting all of my wishes. I know, amazing. Since they agreed to everything, I felt that acceleration wasn't needed at this time. My feeling is that one-on-one is so much better than a classroom full of kids...Even if they are older. He is loving school and I have a happy spirited kid again!!! He's viewed as a creative, smart, charming little boy now, instead of a "behavior problem" The best part is, that after many tears on my part, his g/t teacher and 4th grade teacher finally "get him" and have grown to love him