Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Normal? Sensory Issues? Overexciteabilities?

I�m kind of at a loss with DD. I�m not really sure what is normal or not so maybe somebody could help me out here? I�ve been wondering lately if she might have some sensory issues but I don�t really understand exactly what is the difference between SPD and overexciteabilities. Also, everything I�ve been reading about SPD says that children hit their milestones late and that is the complete opposite of DD! She�s quite a bit early across the board...

So here are the 'issues'. Taken alone I wouldn�t worry about some of them but I�m wondering if the combination of them all could mean something? Oh, and DD is 9 months old...

HATES sleep. It�s a real struggle to get her to sleep and keep her a sleep. The room has to have background noise, be dark, the perfect temperature, the bed has to be soft, etc.

Still isn�t eating solids. We started trying at 6 months but she refuses them entirely if we try to feed her anything (she gets so stressed out that she will throw up). She will only eat if she puts it in her mouth herself and even then she very, rarely does (pretty much only apples and bread). She definitely has the ability to feed herself, she has a great pincer grasp and can even use a spoon some, but she just refuses.

Very sensitive to textures. Will remove socks, hats, sweaters, pants (well, tries to at least). Screams at diaper changes, screams during baths, screams if she doesn�t like the texture of an outfit etc.

Very highly distractable. Refuses to nurse except in a completely quiet, dark room. Stops the second something/someone moves.

Sensitive in general. Cries if someone is using a "loud" voice or yelling. Same even if someone laughs too hard. Lots of seperation anxiety from early on too. Doesn�t like objects that make jerky movements (like toys that dance around).


Besides all that she is a very happy baby normally. Most people are shocked to find out that she has these problems because she is soooooo social. I have no clue what is supposed to be normal at this age. None of her friends seem to be dealing with this stuff or at least not all at once. I�d appreciate any insights you have!!!!

Oh, and any ideas on how to handle these things???

Some of this sounds like how my son was at that age.

He never, ever, ever slept and the slightest thing would wake him up and we'd have to begin the process again. I attribute that to his brain being unable to stop and struggling to keep his body awake.

He was (and still is) distracted very easily. He did love to eat though so I had no problem getting him to focus on his food

He cried about everything. Change was the worst for him. If we did something we normally didn't do he'd throw a fit. If I got water on his face while washing his hair he'd scream. If there were too many people in a room he'd scream. I was never able to have a peaceful birthday party for him because the people would make him cry and then when it was time to sing happy birthday it'd get really bad!

My son seemed to grow out of a lot of these things though so I don't know. What has your doctor said about it?

Some of these things are new so we haven't really had a change to talk to DD's pediatrician about everything as a whole (I plan to when we go to our next well baby visit in Nov.). Here's what she's said so far, though:

sleep- either we try CIO (something we're not willing to do) or live with it

solids- it's promising that she'll at least take whole foods (like apples) but she wants to wait and see a bit first before she decides if this is an issue or not

textures, distractability, and sensitivity- forgot to mention at our last appointment, wasn't as bad then but have gotten worse more recently

She was shocked about how early on she had separation anxiety but she chalked that up to DD being very advanced.

It's comforting to hear that I'm not the only one who went through this (although I'm sorry you had to too!). How long did it take your son to grow out of it? Did you find anything that helped?

With the sleeping nothing helped. I think that he was well over 3 years old before he started sleeping all night more than once a week. He still has his nights when he's up a few times for whatever reason. Usually it's because he has very vivid dreams.

He just turned 5 and he's just starting to not have as many crying episodes. A year ago they were still pretty bad. But it seemed like once he could express himself to us it helped a lot with the crying. From about 3 weeks until he was almost 1 he cried almost non-stop.

Hi Newmom21c,
I cringe to hear you are going thru this. I hope you have a support group to lean on. My DD now 3 was/is like this. I was told by the members in my family that I needed to get out with her more so she would adjust to noises and people more. LOL How do you take out a baby who starts screaming the second you leave the house? I used a sling which helped a ton! She didn't eat well and didn't sleep either. My ped told me to stop putting her down for naps (she only slept for 15 mins anyways) at 6 months. I thought he was absurd but I tried it and it worked. She slept for 6 hours straight at night from then on. This was huge! Sign language helped a lot for communication. Both of my kids were signing at 7 mos. I let her touch as much stuff as I could and talk about each item especially the ones that make noise; washing machine, dishwasher, vaccuum, all the various toys, etc. Just talking in general helped calm her down and the sling.

She is now 3 and if she sleeps for 8 hours a night, I am happy.

HTH and hope you get some sleep soon. That is always the hardest part.

LOL, She may be hitting those milestones later than she would if she wasn't putting so much energy into dealing with the world, you never know!

anyway - my son was misdiagnosed when we first started noticing 'the difference' and he did go to Occupational Therapist for Sensory Issues, and it did help him tremendously, and our insurance paid for most of it. Later when we found how that he was gifted and what that 'meant' I realized that he was 'probably' 'just' extreamly OE, but I was really grateful that we had come down the 'something wrong with him path' so that we got him to the OT instead of writing it off as 'just gifted-manage the environment.'

Does that make sense? So, to me, if her differences are interfering with your daily life, and you mind, then try OT, and quit if it doesn't help.

As for sleeping, DS13 was a non-sleeper,and again, I heard that gifted kids don't need to sleep. Looking back, I think that DS DID need to sleep, but was terrible at winding down. Now that he is big, I give him Melatonin, which triggers him to wind down, but never saw that type of behavior before that. Later I read

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg

And wondered if this would have helped at all. Let me know!

We did use a baby sling, and he would drift off as long as I was wearing him, and that helped. Since he was my first, we both just napped a lot. Get as much social support as you can. Get outside in the fresh air as much as you can.

If she is staying on her weight chart, I would totally let her manage her own eating. I've seen lots of kid/parent unit go down the path of worried mom/manipulative kid. Lots of journaling and venting on that one. Also, check to see if her food is tasty. I tried to give my son 'only the best' natural cheerios, etc. Yeah, didn't want to eat something that tasted like cardboard. I can't tell you the number of kids I know who 'never eat' at their house, but mysteriously eat the 'semi-healthy' food at my house. Potato Chips and Goldfish crakers are both exactly 50% of their calories from fat...Guess which one raised motherly eyebrows in my neighborhood. People are weird. Count the ingredients! I have no problem with families who don't eat either, but what makes Goldfish Crackers normal baby food?

Try and get enough sleep for yourself, even if you have to put a mattress on the floor of her room and lock the two of you in there for your daytime nap.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Hang in there! It's hard when your friends kids aren't going through the same things.

My son (now 10) also had/has? some sensory issues and was the baby from hell. On the bright side he then became the perfect toddler so maybe you'll be lucky. As others suggested it really helped to use some sign language. I think it helped him communicate what was bothering him. We also used the phrase, "How can I help you?" a lot where he'd respond by dragging us over to whatever he needed.

He too was a lousy napper (the 15 minute ones) (he'd cry forever!). When I really needed him to nap (and I needed it!) I wrap him up like a baby burrito and hold him while I napped along side. He'd cry for about 10 minutes and pass out. Somehow it helped keep him sleeping longer if I was holding him. (Means you won't get much done!) But it might help.

He also had trouble eating solids till about 11/12 months. I agree with others, as long as she's healthy let her figure out the eating. It's a good sign that she'll eat some solids.

Good luck--hope things improve!

Wow! Lots to deal with. We experienced a lot of these things with our second. He was a super preemie, so was being watched closely for muscle tone and delays. When he was young I hadn't heard of OE's and just assumed that all of his quirks were from being a preemie. Like Grinity's son, he had OT when he was young and it helped a lot with sensory issues. If he qualifies for any reason for the OT I would definitely take advantage of that. I still to cut tags out of shirts until he was at least 10 and even at 12 he's very picky about which socks and pants are comfortable, but the few months of OT made a huge difference in his ability just to live in his surroundings.

He slowly grew into being able to remain calm with a normal amount of noise (he started at the click of a coffee maker turning off in the next room). He found classical music when he was 5 and has enjoyed that in the background.

He has never become a good eater - but this probably is because of being a preemie, not because of OE's, or maybe some combo. Having read every book about feeding/eating issues I could find, I would definitely follow the advice of others here and not push the food. The fewer conversations and struggles you can have about food, the better chance of growing up with a good relationship with your food.

And also to repeat others, sign language was a tremendous help. I certainly never learned a lot, but the ability to communicate with even a few words calmed him a lot. When he started talking he was calmer, when he started walking he was calmer. I think he was a little person stuck in a body that wouldn't get him what he wanted.

I don't think there are a lot of kids this extreme. I also had people tell me that I needed to "help him adjust." The OT did that, but I couldn't have done it alone - and it didn't help for people to imply that somehow if I just did things differently, he wouldn't be acting this way. So, give yourself a break and say "WOW, he's really something."

He may always be extremely sensitive, but he'll change from what he is right now. That is a guarantee. Don't let the pediatrician be too relaxed about it all. She may not really understand just how sensitive he is. Life is never dull, is it?

Thank you everybody so much for the replies! We�re planning on talking to DD�s doc next month for her well-baby visit so I�m going to bring a list of all the possible SPD things that she is doing. I have some videos too, like one of her reacting badly to the texture of a skirt I had put on her, do you think I should bring that too?

Also, for those of you that have done OT, how did you start it? Did your pediatrician recommend it? Was it covered by your insurance? How long did your children do it for?



You know, after you said that it made me wonder. DD has been ready to walk "any day now" for what seems like forwever. She�ll take a few steps here and there but something seems to be holding her back. Who knows?

Oh, and we used to do baby signing but then got lazy with it. We really should�ve kept up with it because she was learning quite a few signs! I�ll have to try and get back to it...

I didn't get to read all the responses, so sorry if this is repetitive. But, everything you described was my son exactly at that age. We went the SPD route at age 4, but the therapy didn't help him too much. I did use some of the strategies at home, and at times it helped. Others have had huge success with the therapy regardless of whether it is/was true SPD or not.

I personally think my son has significant OE rather than true SPD, but really I wouldn't think it matters what you call it if the behaviors are the same. I'm not sure if the neurology behind OE vs. SPD is any different.

My ds's pediatrician says sensory processing develops at different rates for different people and that it's part of being a child. She also says that if you take a child to an OT to get tested for SPD, he/she WILL have SPD. She's never seen a child get tested and have it ruled out. She thinks it's like taking your car to the mechanic; they'll find something wrong one way or anther. I hate to say that b/c I'm a therapist too! Personally, I think it's more that sensory issues are typical for most kids, so everyone is going to have some area in which they could improve.

My son has grown out of a lot of his sensitivites but not all. He has no really major issues though, other than being highly emotional. I really wouldn't worry, especially if he's reaching milestones on time. Since you've noticed these things, however, I would recommend reading up on SPD strategies and implementing those on your own at home. They're great for any child and should help. Just my two cents. Hope this helps.

Oh, just looked up at your last post. Our insurance did cover a portion of the OT, but it was still pretty expensive. I'm a speech therapist, and I work closely with OTs and have some experiencce working with kids with SPD. I have to say, I haven't see one strategy you couldn't just do yourself. Of course, it helps to have the expertise of the therapist to help you get started, but there are lots of books you can buy on the subject and lots of info online if you want to avoid the expense.

I am reading all of this like it's a primer of my daughter. I thought I was going crazy when she was a baby. All of the things you are talking about - no sleep, sensitivity to noise, clothes, etc. She lived in a sling for almost her first year. She cried all the time, loud or unusual noises made her inconsolable. By the time she was two she would say "noisy, noisy, too loud. We used to joke that she didn't like anything. And like your daughter, no one could believe it because she was so sociable and happy. One day just after she turned one, it's like a light went on and she became this happy smiling (although still incredibly sensitive) child. When people would comment on it, I would say - I've earned it.

She is six now, and we are going through early gifted testing at the suggestion of her teacher. She is exceptionally bright and she still carries a lot of her early sensitivities with her. It's been a challenge at school. This is really the first year that everything has clicked for her.

It's been and still is a challenge, but she is an amazing girl. The hardest part for us has been finding teachers who don't simply dismiss her as a "drama" queen or a problem in the classroom. We will see what this year brings. Life truly isn't dull...

Rituals. I tried to repeat quiet time rituals when my son was a toddler. This included using voices in a quiet whisper, turning on classical music with sounds of the ocean, turning down the lights in his room. It was best to start this when I knew he would fall asleep shortly and then, when I needed it for a those times he had a difficult time settling down, I could start playing the music and whispering and it became a bit soothing.

He is a teenager now and finds it comforting to wear those old padded headphones and listen to music when he is studying.

I think I started pre-warning him of things that I thought would irritate him. I would say "oh, it's going to flash" or "here comes the noisy band" and this seemed to help him prepare to cope.

We finally had our pediatrician's appointment yesterday and were able to talk to her about everything that's going on. For the most part she thought that a lot of DD's symptoms had to do with her being so advanced and getting frustrated because she can't express herself better. She thinks when DD starts talking more consistently that things will improve (she knows quite a few words but doesn't say too much yet, mostly she points or uses sign language. However, she does follow commands fairly well). Also, DD is very, very independent and wants things her way (for instance, she never let us feed her but if we put something on a spoon she'll feed herself). She said that some of that is also probably from frustration of not being able to control her environment.

However, she did that that her sensitivity to fabric wasn't usual and she gave me the number to early intervention to have her evaluated. I'm kind of going back and forth if I should make the call. DD's so far ahead when it comes to milestones and that seems to be more of the purpose of early intervention. On the other hand, if it could help her deal with her environment better I'm all for it! But then again, what the doctor said does seem to make a lot of sense, so I don't know! Sigh...

The nice thing, though, is that our pediatrician really sees what we're seeing with DD. She was even asking if DH and I were early readers and said that while she can't say anything for sure 100%, she'd bet that she will be gifted and that she has very atypical development. I guess, it's just nice to know I'm not crazy for thinking this. I think, I keep trying to go through denial...

Also, DD could be getting overstimulated but that it'd probably be impossible to change that considering how hungry DD seems to learn new things.

Hi there-
I just saw this post- My son has psychomotor OE and is sooo busy, was a fussy baby till he could walk, didn't sleep well, etc etc. I'm so glad that your MD seems to be on the same wavelength.
I have to comment on this post by Grinity:
As for sleeping, DS13 was a non-sleeper,and again, I heard that gifted kids don't need to sleep. Looking back, I think that DS DID need to sleep, but was terrible at winding down. Now that he is big, I give him Melatonin, which triggers him to wind down, but never saw that type of behavior before that. Later I read

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg

And wondered if this would have helped at all. Let me know!

I highly recommend The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg as a good alternative to cry it out (CIO).
My son was a terrible sleeper and had night terrors/sleep walking at 8 mos, finally slept through the night at 14 mos, and Tracy Hogg's methods are really what helped my survive it all!
Also, check out this website for more info and help with sleep issues. www.babywhispererforums.com

I promise, it DOES get better!

FWIW I still have some denial of my son's ability and I was seeing signs as early as you describe- you're not alone, and it really does feel good when someone validates what you see happening with your child's development.
Hang in there!

You know, I've been meaning to check this out, but this seals the deal! DD also has been having night terrors for awhile now, mostly it coincides with teething but sometime it just happens.

I do have to say, one trick that has works so well is that we make sure to get her to the playground at least once per day for an hour. She just has so much energy that she needs to get out! She's climbing over everything at this point and loves to climb up to the slide and go down. Plus, she loves to spy on the older kids. However, if we miss a day, watch out!!

That's comforting to hear.

Yep- that website and books have been extremely helpful for me. The book stresses personality types as being important- respecting, and accepting your child's temperament. Basically it helped me to celebrate my son's spirited and superbusy traits! It is really about teaching independent sleep and good sleep habits.

For info on night terrors, I read the sleep disorder section of "Solve your child's sleep problem" by Dr. Ferber. I preferred Tracey Hogg's gentler sleep training methods, but he had the most info on night terrors, sleep walking, etc...

FWIW, my son has outgrown the night terrors- they dissappeared after he was able to run steadily and turn on a dime at 10 mos old. Night terrors are awful- they are asleep and you are up on pins and needles. They wake refreshed and you are surviving on coffee...ugh.

LOL about the playground- I know what you mean!