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Given the opportunity would you choose to send your child to a school for the gifted?

I know some of you already do. What has been your experience? Are your kids happier? Have you found any drawbacks? What about socially?

I'm really interested in your candid answers. DD7 is in 2nd grade now. Her school has tried hard to meet her needs but with any public school there comes a point where the options are limited. At times I wonder if having dd in an environment where she can learn at her speed would be the best thing for her. Would she flourish in a place where she can learn subjects when she's ready to regardless of her age, ie: chemistry, foreign language, etc.

Her school has not suggested a grade skip. I'm not sure if she's even ready for one since there are things in 2nd grade that she has not learned yet. The thing about dd is how quickly she absorbs information. If she doesn't know how to do something it takes one instruction and she has it mastered. Her 2nd grade teacher has commented on this many times. This leads me to wonder how well she would do when allowed to learn at her own pace. Am I making any sense? My dilemma: Is public school with adjusted work the best for her or is it ultimately a disservice?

I know you can't answer my specific question of which is best but hearing your personal experiences helps me think through these questions.

My ideal elementary school would have block scheduling where the children could move comfortably from room to room, age group to age group, and pace group to pace group in each subject. The teachers would have wonderful sences of both humor and decency. Writing and Reading would be uncoupled, so that an age appropriate writer who is ready for big books could easily be accomidated. The blocks would be long, and perhaps not everyday, so that children could work on projects. Working in groups would be supported, and children would be taught how to do it, but it wouldn't be a required thing. It would be recognised that some children aren't ready for group and academics together at this age. Memorization would be approached as an important skill, but not the only important skill, so that a child who was having trouble with Math Facts wouldn't be held back from learning Math Ideas. Perhaps no homework, but maybe in school study halls so that children would learn to work independently, with support. Maybe independent study projects for kids who didn't need the study hall time?

It would be recognised that for some students 8-3 daily is too much, and partial programs would exist to support homeschoolers. Afterschool activites in sports, dance, music, karate, art, lego leauge and drama would exist on-campus so that children with two working parents could us their time well. The afterschool programs would be of such a high quality that other children from the community would attend and broaden the population of children that the kids get to interact with.

Given all that, DS is in an academically oriented private school with no pretensions of being "for gifted." The nearest "gifted" school is 1 hour away. I would strongly prefer to be gradeskipped from early elementary school to paying for private school, but that wasn't offered. The fear with gifted schools is that they can be to "full of themselves" to recognise the difference between level 2+ and level 4 kids. Flexibility is the key, key, key thing for any school.

Smiles,
Trinity

I'm really afraid that I will offend someone with this post, but it has been on my mind a lot as I go to help out at my son's public school and just wanted to say something. I know that many of you have tried public school and it has been a disaster and you have done what is best for your kids and I respect that. I just hate to see people give up on ordinary public schools; free public education is one of the foundations of our democracy and I think we should support it whenever we reasonably can.

For my DS, who is very social and adaptable, I really like having him in an ordinary public school. He meets a broad variety of people that I am sure I would never be able to find anywhere else. There are homeless kids, immigrants (many whose families don't speak English), migrants, working poor etc.

When the district started a full time dedicated class of gifted kids, the gifted class was suddenly filled with white middle class boys. No doubt this is a ascertainment problem since there are plenty of gifted poor/female/spanish-speaking kids, but still I really hate the idea of putting DS in a class of people that look just like him and I hated to support a system that was clearly biased. So I kept him out of the gifted class. (There were other reasons besides this, like the fact that he was still way ahead of what the gifted class would be doing and the teacher was brand new. By keeping him in the regular class I got to pick a teacher who was fantastic with DS and gave him tons more challenges than he would have gotten the MG class.)

DH is a teacher and I work in advocacy/couseling/health care. We both went to public schools with demographics similar to what DS's has. The exposure to people different than us has helped us be more effective in our jobs and, I think, contributed to our understanding of the world in general. For us, this exposure is an important part of why we send DS to public school.

Soap Box Warning! I have also watched a lot of middle class families leave the public school and as a result there are very few school volunteers, the percentage of kids with high needs is higher, and funding for the school is lower. DS's class has over 50% Title 1, and 6 kids with developmental problems, and no aid. This is wrong! I want to have my school work for everyone and one thing I can do to help the school and the kids and teachers who are there is to keep my kid there and volunteer! I think I have a civic responsibility to send my son to his local public school. OK, getting down now.

If, however, my son was very unhappy, getting depressed, or in physical danger, and I could not find a way to make the public school work, I would look for other options. I do understand that public school will not work for everyone and I am glad that private schools and homeschooling are options.

I hope I haven't offended anyone. I just want people to give public schools a chance.

Trinity I wish i could have gone to your ideal school! I wish my dd could now.

Trinity - your ideal school sounds wonderful. For kids at ALL levels!

ACS - I agree with you. My son is at a regular neighborhood public school. We are on a waiting list for a public gifted magnet. The gifted magnet actually has more poverty and minority populations than our neighborhood school. And if public school doesn't work, I'd actually rather homeschool then send my child to a homogeneous, expensive school where I feel sometimes kids can get a sense of entitilement ("But mom - all the kids are driving Beamers to school talking on their IPhones!"). But I totally understand where people get to the point of pulling out of public school. I'm very new at advocating (I have a 1st grader and a 3 year old) and I'm finding it very painful. And the no child left behind hasn't helped the situation for kids on this end of the spectrum.

acs - I understand your ideals about public school. I think you are correct on many levels however I personally would have a hard time keeping my child in a school that is not doing all they can to meet his/her needs just to try and keep them surrounded by diversity. Does that make sense? I am all for giving public schools a chance but I dont think I'd continue to do it if it was not what was best for my child and their education. I'm sure we all probably feel that way! I do agree that making sure your kids are exposed to diversity is essential to them being well-rounded and prepared for life in general. I just also believe that there are certain situations that require more than the public school system can support but I do agree with your points.

Asc, I'm not at all offended. I "believe" in a strong public education. Unfortunatly, public education didn't believe in DS11! If wishing made it so, he'd still be there with an early gradeskip. I'm hoping that by sharing our story here, other parents with younger kids will be better able to get the early needed gradeskips that can make a public school actually work for some Level III kids. BTW, our public school has less diversity all around than our new private school. That's a whole other sad tale, isn't it.

I've torn my hair out trying to "have my cake and eat it too" - still got my eyes wide open for opportunities, but haven't gotten as far as I would like. Yes the solutions start at home, but yes the solutions are much bigger than any individual. Paradox Alert!

Smiles,
Trinity

One of my biggest problems with public schools would be the lack of intellectual peers for my daughter. Also, one of the beauties of attending a school for the highly gifted is that my daughter actually doesn't feel different or special. It is hard to get arrogant about being gifted when everyone around her is gifted. So far as the children goes, their school is as average as any other school.

I don't have a lot of money, but I decided that having her attend this school was a sacrife worth making. We have to drive 45 min. each way, but even this did not discourage us. We just use the time to talk, sing and some times catch up on sleep (my daughter only on the last one).

My daughter's school is not perfect and they still have a lot to learn, but it is much better then most and it is definitely where my daughter belongs. She is thriving and growing by leaps and bounds. Most importantly, she is happy.

I wished the school trinity described existed, I wished it would be a free, public school and that every child had access to it. Unfortunately for us, our public schools are not equipped or sometimes even willing to accomodate these very special little people we call our gifted.

I went to a school for the gifted--it was University Laboratory High School in IL. http://www.uni.uiuc.edu/

In grades K-6 I was an outcast and I actually thought something was wrong with me. My self-esteem was very low. I blossomed going to Uni. I had friends, I got involved in activities, I didn't feel like a freak, and I loved my classes and teachers.

I would love to give my kids that kind of opportunity but there is nothing available here. We would have to move and that probably won't happen anytime soon.

I like diversity. Interestingly, the HG/PG kids in our public school stick together on the playground and outside of school. They are comrades. They're from diverse backgrounds economically, but there should be more hispanics considering our population (clearly id process needs improvement). I think this has been a good early exposure for my kids. However, once in high school, I agree with CFK that I'd prefer higher level academics and the deep philosophical discussions, debate teams, extracurricular activities that are not all about athletics that seem to come with expensive private schools. I can say it easily when there's not a high caliber private school around here that's not a boarding/military school--but if I had to really cough up the money, I might change my mind.