Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Baby Mouthing Object Question

I already have a ton of questions since I found this forum but I figured I'd start with this one.

We've noticed for awhile now that DD (6 months) has an insane respect for books. They NEVER go in her mouth even though almost absolutely everything else does. Lately, I've been giving her crayons to play with and she's figured out how to make some marks on the paper but most of the time she spends staring at the crayons and turning them over and over in her hands. I realized today that she's imitating me (because I always have a pen in my hand and twirl with my fingers) after I offered her a pen (with the cap on!) and she tried to imitate me by turning it over and over again.

I say this all because normally after she starts getting bored with the crayons or my pen today she starts putting it in her mouth. I know she understands the word No since we've said it to her before (about mouthing the crayons, scratching us, etc.) and she reacted (she threw a mini-temper tantrum). I guess, I'm just wondering if it's appropriate to say no when she does that or should I just take away the object, which also brings on a temper tantrum? Because she's learned to not mouth books and she doesn't do it initially when she gets the object I'm more inclined to try and teach her no but I'm just not sure? If she was a different baby I just would've never given her these things in the first place...

What did you do with your babies when it came to "discipline" type issues like this? I want to encourage her to explore but she has to be safe too...

Hi, my kids are not pg, I think from a previous thread you are wondering about that range/level of giftedness for your dd6mos...so my advice might be off the mark, but I'd say offer her something else, pacifier if she's still into that, or another toy or book. Try to separate whether she's going through normal teething needs or bored. Some kids are really bothered by teeth coming in, some much less so. 6 months is prime teeth time, iirc.

If it's just boredom, giving something else/distraction works pretty well, but still there will be times when a child is only interested in the one things you've given them and they'll just have a fit when it's taken away.

Oddly, sometimes reasoning with a gt child will work even at very young ages- rather than attempt disciplining them, just explain in a calm voice that the crayon will give you a tummy ache and make a mess if you chew it, so you have to stop now, or I will take it away. You might be surprised with results. Sometimes they will still have a fit. And, even if it does work, in public you will probably feel like a crazy person, but if it works, it works.

Sigh.
Keeping a gt child from being bored and literally climbing the walls, even one on the more regular (mg) end of things, is just hard/constant work.
Very best of luck!

We've tried distractions and they are kind of hit or miss. With the pen thing today it didn't work, she just wanted that pen. I haven't tried reasoning with her about it. I guess, it just never occurred to me. I'll try that out next time and see if it helps. Thanks!

Yes, and the boredom thing is such an issue. For the things that keep her entertained awhile, she normally has a much longer attention span than I do. I can only read Hop on Pop so many times! Thankfully, I have DH and my MIL around to help.

I agree with Chris. DS8 is HG+, and one of the earliest signs was that logic worked with him. If he understood what exactly the bounds of the rule were and why there was a rule, he'd follow it happily. He was in the neighborhood of 8mos. old at the time. It was very handy!

Personalities affect responses, too, though. If you have a kid who isn't into logic, reasoning may not work and the child might still be PG. Don't read too much into it, you know?

But I completely agree that reasoning is always worth a try. What can it hurt?

I agree with Chris - I'd try an explanation, since you never know, it might work, and I tend to feel it's more respectful anyway to avoid doing coercive things (like taking something away) without warning. Only once though - if you tell her not to put it in her mouth, and she does so anyway, calmly take it away. I also tended to try to avoid giving DS the chance to misbehave in the same way repeatedly, by, e.g., not letting him have something I'd had to take away from him the previous day, unless it was something he really, really enjoyed having. It doesn't sound as though she's very into crayons yet (unsurprisingly, even for a giftie!) so I'd tend to just keep them out of the way. There are so many unpredictable things one has to say No to at this age, that I think it's best to avoid introducing avoidable situations where one has to.

If what she's really into is turning the implement over in her hands etc., rather than making marks with it, can you identify something the right kind of shape that she can safely put in her mouth? Then if she has a pen or crayon in future and you have to take it away you can give her this safe thing instead, e.g. saying "That mustn't go in your mouth, but this can."

By the way, I really recommend the Faber and Mazlish (sp?) book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk - it's never too early :-)

If you use the word NO too many times it can loose it's power and stubborn young'ns will often revolt. I usually say "that is not a good idea" and explain why while I am taking it away and replace it with something else. I save No for the important stuff.
As for TemperT's you've got many more of these coming

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. Yesterday I was twirling my pen while working and she crawled over and grabbed it out of my hand. She only tried putting it in her mouth maybe 2 or 3 times. I reasoned with her. I'm not sure if she understood but she tried putting it in her mouth significantly less!

Also, we realized she definitely is interested in drawing/writing. Once she had the pen she kept crawling over to try and grab an article I was writing. I kept trying to put it somewhere else but she persisted. I couldn't figure out why she wanted the paper when she already had the pen... Then it hit me (clearly I'm not as smart as DD since it took awhile for me to figure this out!) that she wanted the paper to practice writing. So I gave her a crayon and a blank piece of paper and she started going at it. She didn't make too many marks on the paper but the couch, her leg, and her diaper had some nice green marks on them. Thank God for washable crayons!