Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advice needed for routines and chores

Thank you! I am trying to help the kids practice their routines but some days it feels ridiculously frustrating. It's really helpful to know that I am not alone and should keep trying.

I realize my son (possibly both of them) is different from our friends' kids and that large parts of his day have been frustrating as he tries to figure out why others do not think like he does.

It's easy for me to think about how I can make changes when I'm not in the situation and DS7 will also come up with ideas. Unfortunately, nothing we've tried works for very long and we both end up very grumpy in the morning.

Any suggestions for how to add humor to our morning routine?

My first post was rushed and I wanted to elaborate. We used to take things away when my kids didn't do what they were supposed to. DS10 forgot the trash barrels? No TV. DS14 didn't clean the bathroom? No sleepovers etc. You get the idea.

Now the kids get up every morning with a clean slate. Over the course of the day they earn their rewards. Schholwork, chores etc give them access to what they want. If they make the choice not to do their chores, then there is no TV, or Computer or whatever. The difference is that it puts the choice in their hands. I don't nag or stomp or get frustrated anymore. The secret is is to use the thing they like best to inspire them to make the right choice. Even my 3 and 4 yo boys take their plates to the sink and put their clothes in the hamper.

It makes for self correcting behavior and even though the end result (ie no TV) is the same, in their minds it's not because one is controlled by you "mean mom won't let me watch TV". The other is controlled by their own personal choice "If I want to watch TV, I need to get this done".

It's amazing how well this works.

Re: Any suggestions for how to add humor to our morning routine? Volcano Mom

I am reading a very good book "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk" buy A.Faber and E.Mazlish.
I have found some great tips in it for dealing with my DS who resembles all above.
I get very frustrated with repeating myself all the time and this book has helped.
Trying to get my DS to lift the seat when he goes to the bathroom has driven me mad! We've now got a little note on the toilet that says
"Lift the lid, lift the lid, before you do your wee. Otherwise your dear sweet mum will sit down in your pee. Eeew!".
He thinks it is hilarious and giggles everytime he sees it. (He also runs around the house singing it at top note (I'm hoping that will pass.)
I haven't said 'lift the seat' in over a week!!

I have10 year old twins girls who still do not understand the concept of shampooing their hair brushing their teeth and matching their clothing. Every day is like Groundhog Day in our house when it comes to personal hygiene. They cry when I ask them why they don't want to do these things on their own. I go to work early in the morning leaving the girls home with my husband. He doesn�t seem to care if they are wearing one purple sock and one green one or if they have a big old rats nest in the back of their head. He usually drops them off to the babysitters dressed in winter clothing on a hot summer day or with a milk mustache that has been there since breakfast. When I get home from work I have to pick them up at the babysitter�s house and I never know what condition they will be in. It is so frustrating to see my beautiful identical twin daughters who get straight A's in all subjects in school dressed and looking like crazy people. It was so nice when I was staying at home with them taking care of there needs and helping them take care of this. They will correct my bad spelling but I cant get them to brush their teeth >.<