Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Introduction

This forum was recommended to me by a gifted psychologist.

I've mostly been lurking and listening for the last few days, but I thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm 40, married with two kids. DS#1 is 6 and DS#2 is 4. DS#1 skipped kindergarten this year to start lower elementary (first grade) at our local Montessori school. (He was in the primary classroom last year.) He's working at the third grade level in that classroom. His classwork is fine, but we're having some problems with social/emotional fit. He's the youngest in the classroom and can be disruptive. The other kids think he's weird. His teacher says that he is socially isolated.

We're currently having DS#1 tested by a private psychologist to see where he falls on the scale and if there are any 2E issues. We just got his first year Iowa Basics back and they were all over the place -- 99% math, 98% verbal, 3% listening, with subscores all over the map. He also has had some issues with eye contact and verbal communication, but seems to be outgrowing them.

We think he is gifted, mostly because he's a self-taught and self motivated, early learner. DS#1 was an early reader -- sight reading before age 3, reading fluently by age 4. He more or less taught himself to read. His math skills are around the 3rd grade level.

We're not especially happy with our Montessori school right now, due to the social issues, but we don't know what else we can do. Our public school district has no gifted program before 4th grade. We don't want to home school because we think that may make the social/emotional issues worse.

When we get his scores back from the psychologist, we'll know more about what to do, I guess.

Welcome! We too are waiting on some info from our psychologist to hopefully help with social concerns for our ds8, so I know that can be a long wait...sometimes it seems like his listening is around a '3' too.

Your feeling that he might be outgrowing things is a good point, something you should not disregard despite the piles of data your are about to receive (I am saying this to myself as well!)

Hope you find some answers here, there are lots of great folks around!

Welcome DawnKO; I have a DS (almost 7) and a DS4.5. Hopefully the psychologist will be able to point you in the right direction when you get the results. Do your DS's play well together? My older DS seems to find it harder to make friends, as he said to me "it is hard to get a conversation going about a subject that they are interested in and that I am interested in". Fortunately he gets on brilliantly with his younger brother and is fine with one-on-one situations, so he does enjoy playdates. We are still deciding whether to grade skip him, I think that he will have much more in common with the older boys, but whether they accept him is anyone's guess! There is so much help and support available on this site and it is a great place to bounce ideas off people. Please keep us all updated.

Welcome DawnKO!

I was skipped in Montessori as well - to 4th grade from 1st. I recall being socially isolated the first few days ( I was so small), but recall having fun after wards. I went back to public school - who did not skip - after that and recall it was a very painful time with a lot of clashes with the teachers. So don't think PS will be a step up.

I was involved in a lot of sports at that age - baseball, football, soccer, etc - so I had age peers I could find common ground with. I was also involved in Cub scouts. This helped me a lot. Later on I got involved in adult-level clubs that matched my interests and found adults who I could relate to. There could be programs at local museums that your DS would like along these lines. Once he finds someone he wants to interact with, he will listen..

Welcome DawnKO!

I just wanted to pipe in to say that just because your public school may not have any official gifted program until 4th, don't write them off just yet. Sometimes even the official gifted programs aren't really enough, but there are other options such as acceleration (whole grade or class) and differentiation that might help, even without an "official" policy. Although our DS5 is not yet in public school (slated for kindy in the fall), our school has no official GT programming until 3rd. However, we first approached the school's gifted coordinator (for the higher grades) with IQ test results showing HG+ (highly gifted +), and the school then decided to give him achievement testing. The gifted coordinator was a great liaison between us and the principal. The principal is now hand picking a kindergarten teacher she thinks would be a good fit, and they will offer differentiation for DS in the areas he's advanced.

I think flexibility in any school is really key for GT kids.

Hi DawnKO
Our public school doesn't start the gifted program until 4th either (because they aren't gifted before then? :))but they were able to work with DD beginning in Kindergarten. I would agree with St Pauli girl about contacting the GT coordinator, some of them are quite willing to work with HG children to make public school an option. I wouldn't hurt to get some feedback from them.

Welcome, Dawn.

Thanks for the suggestions.

I've talked with the gifted coordinator for our public school system. After describing my son to me, her response was that they really couldn't help us. She told me that in our district, the elementary teachers are pretty untrained in working with gifted kids, and that there is no funding to train them. There is no enrichment program or in class differentiation, for the most part. Our of the three 2nd grade teachers at our home school, only one of them does anything to add enrichment or differentiation. The gifted coordinator did suggest other public school systems that might be able to help us. She wasn't being mean, just honest.

We are looking at other public school systems. I've talked to the GT for the school system that was recommended to us by a friend. I've also talked with teachers and parents in my hometown's school system. I have a tour scheduled with another local public school in two weeks in another town.

Part of the reason for seeing the psychologist for testing is to determine where we can place DS#1 in the public school systems that are available. (If we move. If we can move in this housing market.)

It sounds like they were really up front with you. Better to know before you get started at the wrong school. Good luck, I know its hard to make these kinds of decisions.

Good Morning Dawn,
I'm wondering how thing have been going with your DSs...isn't hindsight an amazing thing?

Love and More Love,
Grinity