Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Perceptions of ability in young children

Something that happened a few days ago...

DD15mos and I were watching a movie when DS3 called out from the bathroom, asking for help. As DD was quietly engrossed, I left her sitting on the sofa and went to DS. I was gone at the VERY most 5 minutes. When DS and I returned, we found DD hanging on top of the kitchen bench, attempting to open drawers (with her feet!) to step down onto. As we have child safety gates across the kitchen doorways, she had maneuvered a toy castle next to the gate, at the base of the cupboard. Then she had placed a big book on top of the castle, followed by a cushion. As I scooped her off the bench (heart still in my throat) she yelled "No, no, no! Over! I get guitar!", pointing at DS's acoustic guitar laying a few feet away.

What my family thought:

DS3: No, that's not dangerous. She was really careful - look, she even put a blanket down there. [I hadn't noticed it in my panic, but eagle-eyed DS never misses a beat]
DH: She's just like her brother- hold on to your seats everybody!
Mother: She thought it all out and executed her plan so quickly and quietly - that's awfully scary as a mother.
Father: So she really likes the guitar too - I will get her one for christmas [He gave the guitar to DS on his 2nd birthday]

Other than being terrified, I was pleased by how well her speech is coming along (as compared to DS, whose hearing was impaired until he was 18mos old due to chronic ear infections and really didn't start speaking til around 2yo) and her resourcefulness. As our house is practically devoid of proof that adults live here, she didn't have much to work with!

This story is by no means remarkable in this house or even GT related, really. I don't *know* if she's particularly advanced, I simply think there's more going on than 'active, curious toddler' kwim? It just fascinated me, how differently members of my immediate family looked at DDs escapade. I guess its somewhat easy to see how others 'don't get it', when 'it' can be so many things, looked at in such different ways.

BTW now that my last defended post has been taken i.e. the kitchen, anyone got any ideas for my next move? We're running out shed space and cupboards high enough to keep the kids out of danger...

I'm not so sure this isn't a GT thing -other people perhaps have stories to share - but DS6 was the same. From about 15-18 months if not before - he was able to swing himself over huge metal gate in bedroom doorway - to get out of nap time and his room! We ended up having to put a plastic gate up and "cage" im in just to get any sleep - and we were at the point of not being able to function safely ourselves - so him napping despite hating being "locked up" -was necessary!

I've caught him piling pillows - every pillow and cushion in the house - even jsut th weekend - to try and reach forbidden toys in our closet that are on the top shelf. He has also climbed on things in the past to reach things on a book shelf - or tried to climb kitchen counters.

The funniest thing is - they must realise it's dangerous - or why place a cushion? But they take the risk anyway. To me - it just shows that their desire for "said object" is WAY more intenese than their fear of injury.

I'm kind of surprised your family didn't freak out!! As a Mom - my heart just races when this type of thing happens.

My mother is always horrified by the bizarre things my kids do IronMom! I'm one of 4 GTs, and she says all of us put together didn't equal the work of one of my children LOL. I guess DH and my parents are sort of sensitized to it, too (by this I mean not shocked anymore). DS walked unassisted by 8mos and DD by 9mos but both were VERY mobile way before we got to that point... Now I'm pretty sure they are both looking to join a circus - DD is turning a somersault to the splits, and DS is saying that if he gets enough practice in, he'll be great on the high-wire!

Yes, I believe you're right about their somewhat short-sighted realization of danger. We basically have a period each day now, where we go through the 'correct' or least dangerous way to any number of things (that children of their age shouldn't be doing IMHO), so at least if/when they find themselves in that situation, I've covered bases as best I can. Today's for DS3 was when/why it would actually be appropriate to undo screws on electrical equipment, and how to do it safely.

I often question how best to deal with my little bundles of energy - I really wish I had a manual!

Sounds like you're doing a great job just being there and taking the time to explain. You make me thankful I only have one just bundle. Couldn't cope with more!

TMJ, I am cracking up at your DD and your family's responses. Love it! Sounds like she is not the first rascal in the family (we use the term rascal liberally around here, with great affection). How great that your family sees the positive in her climbing, ingenuity, problem-solving, and love of music. What an encouraging environment she has.

Good luck to you, keeping her in one piece!

I definitely remember feeling I was going to have to suspend everything from the ceiling to keep it out of DD's reach.

We have other issues now that she's 28 mos. This week, as I was getting DD ready for bed, I (ahem) sat down for a moment myself in the bathroom. The house was totally locked up but as I sat there I suddenly heard DD outside in the back yard. She had apparently followed the cat into the kitchen, tried to get him to eat his food, he slipped out the cat door, and she did, too, carrying his bowl and following him to the back end of our yard in the pitch dark. We're talking two minutes for all this.

I can almost never let this climber/explorer out of my sight.

These stories remind me of a good friend of mine with 3 children, DD5, DS4 and DS3 (yes, she was pregnant for 3 years in a row!). Her youngest, DS3, is absolutely crazy when it comes to his fearlessness. One day, she found him on the outside of the stair banister overlooking their great room (with a cathedral ceiling) so that he was a full story up in the air. Yikes! I think he was only 2 at the time.
She also found him at the top of the stairs at just 9mo -- she didn't think to put a gate at the bottom of the stairs yet since he was so young. Crazy little guy!

BTW, I tell my friend her children are GT but she's in total denial.

Gates never worked for my dds. We ended up putting locks with keys on cabinets as the latch things were useless.

Your dd is one to be watched carefully and seems to know what she wants! My dds used to love setting up obstacle courses across the house at a very young age. As long as it was safe, we allowed it. I imagine your dd would love doing that too.

I learned with DS5 that blocking him from any areas would only increase the chance of him hanging himself from the ceiling fans. Instead, I left everything open, and he had access to most everything (only locking up really sharp objects & medicines, etc). I was lucky that he understood early that certain things are just not for a child to be doing, and even to this day, he will tell you he is not allowed to use knives, etc, due to the dangers.

The creativity of your DD, if nothing else, proves that she is able to look at a situation and come up with a "solution" to solve her "problem", even if it's not the safest.

Your family's reactions sound like how my own family would've reacted.