I guess one thing I am struggling with is the feeling that I would be holding her back is I send her to a play based school. She is a smart girl and she loves to learn. I don't always have the energy to teach her everything she could happily absorb. In fact I rarely teach her! Grinity made a good point about letting the preschool be about playing/socializing and doing the teaching at home (something to that effect) and that is a wonderful idea, I just hope I do as good of a job as the Montessori school could potentially do.
Two suggestions, and I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here:
Don't think of play-based preschools as necessarily being "not learning." According to child development experts, 3yos usually learn best through play. Many of us had wonderful experiences with kids in half-day play-based preschools. The painting and drawing, the board games, the time for imaginative play, the building with blocks, the play with textural toys like clay, "space mud," and rice and sand, the playground time (and so on) are all good experiences for 2-5yo kids of ANY level of intellectual development. They're flexible with what a child is learning at the time. And they're often mostly absent from a Montessori experience. Are they better than a Montessori experience? Well, that depends on the school, the teacher and the child. But I definitely wouldn't recommend assuming that a child will just be killing time in a play-based pre-K. I don't think that's true. Again, it depends on the school, the teacher and the child!
Also, don't think of it as "teaching at home," but following your daughter's lead. Do you read to her? Do you talk about things that interest you? Do you answer her questions? Do you take her to stores, museums, the zoo, the park? Do you let her help you cook, do laundry, clean house? Do you have puzzles and books and games for her to play with? All of these are great ways for a preschooler to learn. Just because you don't have a workbook open doesn't mean you're not teaching.
The Montessori method is great, but please don't think that it is necessarily "better" than other pre-Ks just on its face. I'm afraid you're buying into the method more than thinking about what will work best for your particular child. If the school and the teacher are better, great. But if you are assuming that Montessori is about learning and play-based pre-K is a waste of time, I think you have it wrong.
No offense intended there.
I just don't want you to think about this in a way that maybe isn't productive for your daughter.