Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Follow up to DS's behavioral issues

So we've made a few adjustments, and things have definitely improved. (If you recall, our DS-almost-6, suddenly started acting out in school after returning from winter break. We met with the teacher & principal to see what we could do. And to top it off, we're in the middle of establishing our GIEP.)

Here is what we've done:

1) Very strict towards bad behavior, especially in school. Loss of privileges, additional chores, etc. VERY strict. It was a pretty rough first week.
2) Behavioral book that has a summary of his behavior at school. Each day we get this book back and DS can look at it if he wants.
3) I wake up a little bit earlier in the morning and "snuggle" with him for 5 - 10 minutes before starting the day. We have had much better mornings since starting this. I think this helps him "ease" into the day (we do have transitional issues).
4) Rewards like "family fun day" or ice cream for goals met (so many days in a row, etc).

The behavior isn't perfect, but it is definitely improved. At least now we're giving a lot more positive praise than negative consequences. He acts out at home, but his class behavior has been pretty good. So we're on the right path.

Just thought I'd share...

JB

Great! Thanks for sharing, it definitely sounds like you are on the right track. And I like the fact that while you still have extra rewards for positive behaviors, there are some bonding things that you will do together regardless of behavior (cuddling in the morning). I think a big mistake that parents often make is they take away bonding special times together because their child doesn't earn it. And then you get anger, resentment, and they don't even care about pleasing parents or behaving because they don't have much of a relationship with them. While I agree that that is very good to an extent (like earning the family fun day, ice cream, special trips, etc.), I think it is good to do at least something bonding together each day to show them you care like you have been doing. I was teasing my DS4 last night about hurrying up to get to bed because the snuggle monster was going to get him. He is so cute. He kept saying "monsters aren't real mom." and I kept saying "I don't know, snuggle monsters may be." He was cracking up when I did my impromptu theatrical "snuggle monster" performance. It is fun to see him just crack and up be a kid sometimes...He thinks so much that sometimes I miss that. Anyhow, hope things get better and better with your DS!!

Good work, JBD!

Thanks for the update. I've been thinking about your family and wondering how it's going.

Snuggle on, dude!

Well, he was getting nothing but negative feedback for so long, we were just trying to find a way to give him some positive experiences. He still is very young, so bonding with him like that goes a long way I think. Technically speaking this might not have been GT related. But I will say that I'm pretty sure our hunch was right in that he was going through some type of intellectual/emotional growth. He's started asking lots of deep questions again.

JB

Yes, positive reinforcement is a lot better, I think. Kids really need that.