Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Teacher doesn't even look at work

This situation seems very odd! I would seriously consider going with Inky's suggestion and sending in worksheets of your own. You will have to spend some time during the weekends to assess where he actually is (there are some links to online assessments posted recently) and then at the very least just buy some workbooks. WITH the expectation that if he doesn't do it there, then he does it at home. My goodness, if you have to do the work of organizing, motivating and monioring the work, you should at least get to choose the curriculum!

I think you can get through this if you DON'T take the attitude that it's ok that he 'work when he wants to' but I wouldn't really force him to do work that is just rediculous, and if the teacher isn't cooperating with communication then why not proced as if this is just 'free babysitting?'

Is homeschooling in the cards?

Grinity -
Thanks.
I said he "works when he wants to" to say that I didn't make him sit down everyday and do school at home or whatever. If we decide we are exploring a topic, then by goodness, we are going to do it.

I do like you idea to find him some assessment or something to see where he really is. His psychologist said (he did not test him, just working with him for his explosive-breakdown thing when he gets frustrated...which has improved immensely) that he was reading at least at a 5th grade level and doing about that at math. TBH I thought he was exaggerating, but now I want to know.

I used to be kind of "anti-workbook," but I can't imagine creating problem sets as well, so I think I will see what they are really made of (rather than judging them).

Although sometimes I pretend it is, HS is not a serious option at this time bc I am writing a dissertation - and I really *need* my two hours by myself in the mornings (DS5 goes to Montessori mornings). I suppose it is always a little on the table, but part of me has trouble with that. I think we will need to exhaust other options first. I think I might be able to pull it off now..but eventually, I will graduate...and probably want a job. Poor DS would be so far ahead and so hard to re-adapt to school...I dunno. Pros and Cons are hard to measure with such an uncertain future.

We used a sitter so I could write my novel and still homeschool.

No pressure--hard sell is not my style! But I would suggest that you not write off homeschooling as impossible if it is something that might solve your problems.

It's also not necessary to homeschool forever. I always say that for us, homeschooling is not a philosophy, it's a practical solution to a real-life problem. When a better solution (or a different problem!) comes along, we'll change what we're doing. I know families who have kids who have been in public school, private school AND have homeschooled at various stages of their education, and they're just lovely kids! Homeschooling doesn't have to be a "forever" decision. It sure isn't necessarily "forever" for our family.

Case in point: next year I'll have one child in public school and one homeschooled (I think, assuming nothing changes between now and then...). I also figure DS7 will eventually wind up in private school sometime. If public school isn't a good fit for DS4 as I think it will be, then we'll figure something else out for him. Those are the best choices for each child, as an individual, so that's what we're doing.

I'm all for exhausting options with the school if that suits you and your child. Go, you! But misunderstandings about homeschooling and how to make it work are common, so I would strongly recommend that you learn more about it if you think it is a potential solution before you decide against it. I hate to see people lock themselves in a box that isn't really there, you know? And just knowing that you *could* choose to homeschool if you want to--even if you decide not to--can allow you to negotiate with the school from a position of strength. You don't have to feel like they're the only game in town. Just having another option gives you courage, you know?

Happy to talk about it further if you want. Or not.

This comment sets my teeth on edge, but maybe you can use it to your advantage. Ask if your son can take the end of year assessments in order to make "student-focused, data-driven decisions."

Your plan sounds good and I second Grinity's modification. As far as workbooks, I found DD does not like the kind that are just pages of calculations. We've had good luck with Addison-Wesley Mathematics Building Thinking Skills Workbook. It includes critical thinking, reasoning, and data analysis. Another one she likes is the Dorling Kindersley Math Made Easy.

I've explained to DD that it's important that she works at the appropriate level and why. I also think children need to have down time, so she understands why it's important to do this at school instead of relying on afterschooling.


Sounds like you have good reasons to vent and I share your anger about this situation. The silver lining may be that the principal will know you aren't a good match for a lackluster teacher next year!

Thanks inky and Kriston!

I guess now I wonder how he will get GT services if he won't "do first grade." Maybe another visit to the learning specialist is in order.

I guess I never stated it...but DS6 is in a public "Montessori" classroom, so his teacher is his teacher for 1.2.3....which probably makes the whole situation seem phenomenally worse (to me). I put Montessori in quotes because the classroom doesn't follow the philosophy, really. There are kids from all three ages, and they do have some materials....but that is the end of it. Maybe this gets back to Kriston's earlier point on neglect vs. self-sufficiency.



I suppose that is an adaptation that may work for us....I will think further about our options. I hadn't really considered still pursuing my own thing if I took him out of school.


I am much more motivated now. I like that, here at least, I don't have to worry about the non-understanding of parents with ND kids.

Good.

I am mostly remembering the complete panic I felt when seeing just HOW BAD the fit was for my DS7, and recalling the complete lack of control over the situation that I felt. I felt like it was their world, and we had to fit into it, one way or another. It was a horrible, desperate feeling. I think that virtually ANYTHING you can do to take back control of your child's education that works for you is good. For some people, advocacy does that, and hallelujah if it does! I support that choice 100%.

Given my personality and school situation, however, the thought of prolonged advocacy in a rigid school system with little chance of success made my feelings of panic and hopelessness worse, not better. Realizing that I didn't have to deal with the school at all if I didn't want to was what helped me. It was really the best feeling I can ever recall: I went from desperation and deep despair--Oh, the tears! And I'm not much of a cryer--to joy and relief. From night to day in the blink of an eye.

<shrug> Different strokes for different folks. Thank goodness we have options! That's why I definitely think you're smart to consider all possibilities, no matter how far-fetched they might seem to you now. You might be surprised what works for you.

That does make it phenomenally worse!
In that case, I'd try to get a teacher change. Talk to the parents of children in higher grades about what they thought of the different teachers. If you can any find parents of gifted children, that's even better.

Do kids stay and play after school on the playground? This could offer you the opportunity to strike up a conversation with another parent. This is how I found out that DD's 1st grade teacher would be the best match for 1st grade (and probably the best match I'll ever have at this school).

Even with a gem of a teacher who has been receptive to some of things I've advocated for, I've been second guessing whether I should have gone with my original plan to homeschool this year.

The teacher lets my daughter work on the challenging math after completing daily class assignment in the 1st grade workbook. She's also started giving her books to read that are at the appropriate level and more challenging spelling. Even with these accommodations, I know DD is spending much of the day reviewing things she's already mastered.

Knowing that I do have the alternative to homeschool helps keep the panicky and hopeless feelings somewhat in check. This allows me to be a more effective advocate. That's why I'm glad there are people on this board who've made public school work and people who've made homeschooling work. Unfortunately, either way it's a lot of work!

Update (not much of one).

I decided this morning that Friday's examination of the work went over so well, I would just look at his work everyday! So, I graded all the worksheets that I had sitting around (it is my volunteer job), and I headed off to pick DS6 up from school.
Again, no parents. I guess the other kids get in cars or ride the bus or something; I am not saying I see no parents, that would be crazy..just none from my son's class. It doesn't help that his class is released from a different class each day (Monday - Music..Tuesday PE, etc). [You know, when I write it down, it seems crazy-er than it seemed previously.]

Well, I found DS6 and set off to his classroom to check his work; sadly his teacher was not there (can we add a DT - dear teacher?). But, I had him show me his work...he didn't claim to do much, but his SRA that he showed me was unfinished, as expected. He said that he told DT100 he wasn't finished, but I guess time was up or something, and she was like "whatever...you can finish another day."

Another parent came in the room - so happy I was, really - but it turns out that her kid is in the co-taught class and didn't have the same frustrations as I did. I was pretty direct (well, she came in while I was quizzing DS6 about his work and all, so it was a good opening), but I managed to ask while the kids were distracted with each other (DS5 is quite the socialite). Sadly, I didn't find a comrade, but I did make contact with another parent..who now knows my concerns ---and just might know a parent in DS's class.

Tomorrow is another day.

Update 2.

Sadly, none of the parents (of 4) that I have now found and questioned (creatively in some cases) share my concerns. Either their kids do the work as assigned, or they don't have a clue what their kids do.

Monday, I received notice from the specialist (who I was counting on to finally force some accountability/positive reinforcement) that DT100 doesn't think DS needs any sort of help or accountability record since he is "improving so much." Heartened by this improvement, I went to see what indeed had changed - that I hadn't noticed in my after school work examination time with DS. As far as I can tell, NOTHING has changed - improvement or otherwise. Even in talking with DT100 yesterday, when it wasn't appropriate to bring up these concerns directly, it was blatantly obvious that DS was not meeting expectations or doing self-directed work as assigned.

So, I am thinking that I need to talk to DT100 in person with a clear goal of finding out what it is that DS is supposed to do, how DS is supposed to report/note what he did, and what DS is "improving" on exactly.

My plan is to send an email to request a meeting. I plan to say:
I am hoping that we can set up a time in the near future to meet about DS' work and reporting-of-work-completed habits. I had met with *specialist* about the same topic, but *specialist* suggested that DS does not need a specific plan or chart at this time.

Does anyone think I should say more or less? I am trying to avoid one of those email flubs that get teachers so angry

Oh...note I am trying not to say:
DS6 is so ubersmart that the activities you give DS6 are dull and repetitive, thus he avoids them. If you continue to ignore DS6 and let him sit around reading all day and playing math games without writing down the problems or solutions so you know what he knows, his love-of-learning spirit will slowly be smothered by the activities that you make him do during lessons that are beneath his academic level.

Instead, I am going with ... let's get DS6 to show how much he can do to force DT100 and counterparts to let DS6 work on more interesting things.