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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 58
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DS6 has started first grade, and his experience is atrocious. I'm gonna tell the story, and hope for some advice...read on.
DS6 is clearly gifted - reading, math, science, (everything but sitting still and being a sheep). He will be tested in March.
Anyways, DS6 was going to school everyday and telling us things were fine for the first two months of school (his teacher mentioned a few times that he wasn't always on task). At the PT conf in Nov., his teachers told us he was immature and never did his work and complained when they tried to get him to work. Much more disturbing, teachers (when describing how little work DS was doing) revealed that they hadn't checked to see his work since assigned 6 weeks prior! Teacher won't let DS work on harder material because he isn't "doing first grade work."
Turns out, DS (and his classmates, somehow) meets with teachers once a week or so for a lesson or something (can't seem to get them to explain), and sometimes the kids are given assignments of things they are now supposed to self-direct. He is in first grade, and expected to do several items with no supervision or accountability.
So (beginning in Nov), I tried to find out what all he was expected to do and sent emails and notes safety pinned to DS to the teacher explaining that I would reinforce accountability at home if teacher would somehow communicate DS doing or not doing work..to me. No response. Still in Nov., I created a checklist with few work items that DS would tell me, and DS carried it to school with notes and emails again (notes request teacher to check off work completed). Teacher used twice and considered work "completed" if DS "worked on it." - or I guess told teacher he worked on it or he appeared to be working on it - whatever. No response to try to improve the system. Still refusal to increase challenge for DS - suggests I put him in a gifted class - as if I could do that!
In complete frustration (Dec.), I contacted teacher and asked again about accountability - is DS doing his work....he claims to do his work. Teacher said that teacher hadn't looked at DS planner or notebook (another 6 weeks!) and didn't know if he did anything or not. In Jan., I met with teacher and asked again. She claimed to not know if he had done his work - I suggested we look. So, we look at his work and find he has few entries in his notebook. She says, "I guess we need to work on accountability" OMG!!
In response, I contacted a learning specialist at the school to develop a plan to get DS to do his work.
I am thinking that this teacher doesn't care about DS, or his classmates- probably, and I don't know what to do.
If I were DS, I wouldn't do the work either because it is not challenging, repetitive, and NOONE CARES IF HE DOES IT. (Except me, cuz I would prefer for school to not be a negative impact on his education.)
Sorry for the long post. Any advice?
Should I pull him out of school?
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Accountability for schoolwork without prompting at age 6?! It sounds like there's something wrong with this teacher (lazy?) and she's putting the blame on your DS. Um, if you don't want to spend your time checking and rechecking to make sure your class is on-task and completing their work (and help with gloves and zippers, etc.) don't teach first grade. As far as what to do, it depends on how comfortable you are going over her head and whether you think she would take out any irritation with you out on your DS. One option could be writing a letter and CC it to the principal and learning specialist. In the letter you could include the checklist and the plan for daily work/home communication. If a few days go by with no communication, you could send a letter stating so. It's about accountability on the teacher's part for a black-and-white plan that she herself agreed on.
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Yes, I thought the same thing! That's just completely nutty! There are middle schoolers who have trouble with this, but she's expecting 6yos to just do it?
Even in Montessori, they check to be sure kids are doing the work! And that's the most self-sufficiency-encouraging method I know of. There's self-sufficiency, and there's NEGLECT!
Sheesh!
Kriston
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Jool- Thanks for the reply. I actually am afraid that she may take it out on my DS.
I think I may try meeting with the principle (face to face) hopefully before she figures out who I am. Then, I might get some answers and shield my DS. Thanks for the idea.
I do have email records of my attempts (of course the safety pin notes are gone). I may print them out. Makes me nervous, a little.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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Another thing to consider - could the teacher have memory and organization problems herself? From reading your post again it seems that it's at least a possibility.
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Yeah, I will suggest she see a psych. JK
I thought the same thing.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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talk to other parents, and then go meet with the prinicpal. I doubt you are the only dissatisfied parent, get others to go in too - possibly in groups of two or three. Sadly, I don't know any of the parents of kids in my son's class. I pick him up, walking, everyday, and I don't see other parents. I am not sure how to find them. Any suggestions? What does the grapevine say about other teachers at the school? It would be good for you to know if this is typical at that school. Well, DS is co-taught by another teacher with the same lack accountability practices for DS...from talking with her, this teacher requires slightly more accountability from her *own* students. I have a flashing lightbulb over my head with my DS name on it (it seems), so I am not sure how to approach other teachers. Any advice on how to find / tap into the grapevine would be appreciatedl.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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Thanks, kcab. I like these ideas, and I think I could go to a PTA meeting. I went to one, but it was a mess. I can try harder if I have a mission! We got a valentine list, but it is first names for the kids. I will see if I can get a list of parents. We don't have a room parent. I volunteer outside of the classroom - mostly because DS had trouble focusing with me in his Montessori community last year. What about your son's friends - find out one from the class and invite them over for a playdate, that will require talking to a parent at least briefly. DS doesn't have any friends. He sometimes calls a kid in another class his friend (I dunno when they interact), but when he sees the kid, DS doesn't acknowledge him - even if the other kid says "hey". He is *friends* with an older girl in our neighborhood, but that's it. ...I sound pathetic. Sorry. You have been great. I am motivated to go get the parents in gear.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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Joined: Oct 2008
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This sounds nutty! Have the teachers have all but given up? Can you explain to your son that he has to do work at school and since the teachers aren't checking, you will be checking? I'd go a step further and send in work that's appropriate for his level with the understanding that if he doesn't do it at school, he'll work on it when he gets home. A meeting with the principal probably needs to happen soon. Good luck and it sounds like you've got your work cut out for you.
P.S. You don't sound pathetic. I'm just flabbergasted and probably coming across harsher than I meant to.
Last edited by inky; 01/25/09 01:44 PM.
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inky - Thanks. I have talked with the teacher about appropriate work, but she is convinced that he needs to "prove he can do first grade." ....I think that "doing first grade" means being bored out of your mind and expected to sit still all day and pretend to be fascinated. (LOL...I am so angry that it seems everything I write is a vent.) Here is my plan - added by the posts you guys have given me. 1) Don't take any drastic action until the learning specialist has had a chance to see how insane this classroom environment is. 2) Try to find other parents and get their take. 3) Try to find out what other teachers are doing. 4) Try to convince DS that it is worth it to do the work...in some different way than before. (he seems to think he is doing the work, or at least he tells me he is doing it (For example, he can explain the stories and questions for reading work)..and he doesn't usually lie....which makes me think that he is doing the work "in his head"...just not thinking it is worthwhile enough to write down.) 5) Investigate further the other schools in the area. (We used to attend a private school before moving here, but we didn't find any that seemed any better, on initial search, than the public schools - besides the public schools usually can accommodate GT students better unless the private school already does.) 6) Have a glass of wine and remember that he is at least doing interesting work at home, when he wants to.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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