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Hi folks, this is my first post so please be gentle.

We have a lovely, bright little girl, 3 years old. There's a good chance she's gifted - she's hit all her milestones early, is a great talker, and DH and I are both gifted (or were, haha) - but she has zero ability to focus, or even sit still, for the most part.

I've read that gifted kids often have heaps of energy (to the point of sometimes being mistaken as ADHD - something I've often wondered about DD), but that this energy can be a great asset when they find something they're interested in. But I've never seen DD's hyper energy turn into hyper focus. Or any kind of focus. Or even generalised interest.

It's like she's this hyper little sponge, that is noticeably more absorbent than most of her peers, but is less capable of concentrating or applying effort to anything. Like drawing a picture, or how to swing, or sitting still for me to read her a story, or anything really. If it's not easily absorbed then she doesn't bother to try to learn it.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Did your child grow out of it?

Welcome!

First off, remember that she -is- only 3 years old. The range of age-appropriate attention span in toddlers encompasses some pretty flea-sized focusing. That she is absorbing quickly and easily suggests that she has adequate attention for her current needs. In addition, it may be that 1) she finds too many things interesting to stay on one for long, 2) everything comes so easily that she hasn't had much practice applying effort, 3) she prefers figuring things out herself to having someone else teach it to her. All three were relevant in our case.

Familiar, yes, grow out of...sort of. Our child who was most like this is an adolescent now, and is much better at focusing and application, but still prefers discovery learning to transmissional learning, and retains a vibrant enthusiasm about, well, nearly everything!

Welcome.

Let's say there are two kids at a beach. The first one collects shells, asks a parent about what they're called and by the end of the day has collected a lot of shells and has learned a lot of shell names. On the walk back this kid is happy to identify shells along the way and if they're the outgoing type, will share this knowledge with strangers they meet. The parent is happy to have enjoyed an educational day at the beach. The kid is happy because shells are cool and everyone is super impressed they know so much. Being awesome is fun!

The second kid is all over the beach. They like how when they pretend to be a starfish, the sun side of their body is warmer than the side on the wet sand (it makes them think about that time you made toast in the oven). They like running in the water and then in the dry sand to watch their feet get caked in sand (it reminds them of the art project where they covered something in wet glue and then rolled it in glitter and they wonder why dry things stick to wet things sometimes). They notice if they dig a hole the sand is wetter and cooler the deeper they go which is weird because they heard the middle of the Earth is like lava. This kid may or may not share any of these connections.

To an outside observer, the first kid is focused and learned a lot at the beach. The second kid just rolled around getting filthy.

I bring this up because the ability to make connections doesn't "show" as well as the ability to memorize information in little kids.

She might be at a stage of development where she's making lots of connections but doesn't give a lick if she's looking at a conch or a cowrie.

It doesn't mean she won't be into that kind of thing later though.

KJP - so much like!!!

I was thinking the same thing! And it's so much like my two kids.

Wow KJP, that description fits our DS6 almost perfectly! It's no wonder he always surprises us when he starts to describe some crazy thing he learned somewhere along the way. Sort of like this weekend when he launched into the possible geological explanations for how a particular island might have formed. And this was after DS5 innocently asked "Why is this an island?".

LazyMum, welcome. I would also add that if she has a big imagination, it might be difficult to pull her back from that world. I certainly wouldn't see it as anything to worry about for the time being!

Thanks for your replies everyone!

KJP, that's a really lovely way to put it Possibly you could add a third kid to that beach. The kid making balls out of sand and smashing them into the ground, or collecting shells and seeing how far she can throw them into the waves, or chasing birds, or balls or dogs or other kids or anyone/anything that can be chased. And being very loud about it the whole time. That's my girl! Occasionally destructive, but never malicious, and always a little on the crazy end of the loud/energetic spectrum!

I suppose my main concern was that she seems to be behind her peers in some normal stuff, like drawing, or being read to, because she just doesn't have the interest or ability to sit still for long enough. I suppose she has plenty of time to catch up though.

Aeh, thanks for giving me the term 'discovery learning'. I don't have much of a lexicon around this stuff yet, but that sounds very much like her learning style. Just like her father - can't be told.

RRD, I'm not sure if role playing counts as imagination, but if it does, then I think she's probably got a big imagination, given that I've been 'Owlette' and she's been 'Romeo' (from PJ Masks) for nearly a week now. She doesn't drop character, and corrects me if I do. :p

As the mom of a girl with psychomotor overexcitablities I have to say that sitting still is overrated. 😉 She once said to me when she was about 3 or 4 that "Dancing is thinking." I'm learning a lot about the world through this girl.

You might try audiobooks in the car or at bedtime. My son liked those at that age. If you think she's missing milestones, I recommend an appointment with her pediatrician.

My recommendation if you go that route: explain to the scheduler that you have some development concerns and you'd like the doctor to see your daughter. However, explain that your daughter is a sponge (or whatever way you want to put it) and you'd like to speak to the doctor first without your kid present.

We still read to DS at that age even though he was running laps around the room while we were doing it. It seemed kind of ridiculous at the time but it was kind of surprising to realize how much he was absorbing. Over time he showed more and more interest and would sit down with us for longer and longer periods of time. He now sits for hours at a time reading on his own (he's 10).

For drawing we often used sidewalk chalk outside so he could run around AND draw. We also had fun with a big roll of paper and really big drawings/paintings which required more activity than sitting and coloring on a small sheet. If you're more worried about fine motor type things you could always try making a game out of it and adding in some bigger motor energy burning stuff (something like running around and collecting small hidden things for pincher grasp or whatever).

My nephew is a HIGHLY active kid and they do a LOT of physical activity everyday.