Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Slow Processing, Can You Grow Out Of It?

Sydness - thanks for posting! Your ds sounds similar to my ds10. He's been tested in the 98-99.9% too, but has visual deficits (convergence insufficiency and others), has dyspraxia, SPD, issues with handwriting (possibly dysgraphia), etc. - which has presented a conundrum. He was misdiagnosed with PDD and ADHD.

Ds, too, read early, but initially through sight and whole language. He struggled with phonics until I got him to memorize it with humorous cartoons. He might have stealth dyslexia but if so it has flown under the radar on various tests (same could be said for the dysgraphia and possibly dyscalculia as well). Some of your dh's issues may be related to dyscalculia too.

Interesting about handedness because my ds was completely lopsided, abnormally early right handed abnormally due to some physical conditions from birth, which also affected his neurological wiring. Similar to others, though, dh is right handed but kicks with his left foot. My sister is a leftie. Ds10, Dh, and my sister were all breech babies, though dh flipped in the last 24 hrs. I don't doubt there's a similar situation in terms of neurological wiring with preemies or other babies.

I often think the development in utero can greatly affect the neurological wiring, particularly with my ds and sister, that cannot be fundamentally changed so to speak. It becomes more a management issue and a matter of ways to compensate. OT, vision therapy, neurofeedback, and other therapies can help a lot; my son has had all of them for years on end.

At this point, I'd suggest having a behavioral/developmental optometrist assess your dh if you haven't done so already and possibly an OT. Both could help your dh manage and function more smoothly and make life more manageable and less frustrating. I think you may see more results with vision therapy if it's warranted; the one drawback would be that it's often expensive and not covered by insurance. But even with vision therapy or neurofeedback, there's a limit to what can be accomplished and you'd have to set parameters on expectations, goals, and objectives.

From a long lens perspective, I'd say look at various famous 2e people (celebrities, etc. - admittedly a lot of them will probably men though) to see how they've succeeded despite their limitations or special needs to alleviate anxieties. Google - famous people with dyspraxia or famous people with dyslexia. You'll find everyone from Daniel Ratcliffe (ie. Harry Potter) to Henry Winkler.

Take heart. While there are definitely disadvantages to dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc. (and I do have empathy and sympathy as a 2e parent!), there is a flip side as well to these diagnoses and conditions. Some believe that it helps to enhance creativity and would not still be in the proverbial gene pool if there was not some evolutionary advantage to having them. I think the trick with being a parent here is to concentrate on the strengths and to diminish or find ways around the deficits and weaknesses, which isn't always easy or fun.

That's wonderful that your dd has continued her ballet and is serious about it! y dds both gave up ballet - older dd discovered tap and other dance which had a lot of motion and she preferred it, ballet didn't work for her, she needed something that allowed much more energy release and motion Youngest dd had been serious about it but then discovered gymnastics and that is now her life. My older dd is one of those kids who's not incredibly passionate about anything (although she does have sports she loves), younger dd is just simply quite obsessed about gymnastics and it's tough dealing with the amount of time it takes away from everything else, academics in particular.


I don't find myself feeling sad for my ds at all - he has a very happy life and he's able to participate in most things he really wants to. He's in a rigorous academic program in hs with other gifted students - he has accommodations but they don't define him or his day. He isn't going to be a prodigy in sports or music but he participates in both and enjoys both. He may never "get over" DCD/etc but he has grown in the things that I think matter most to *all* of my children in life - he's kind, he's got a great sense of humor, and he has self confidence. That last part is *huge* - he struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I think we were very lucky in that we were able to find a school for him for middle school where he was accepted for who he is (the challenged part and the braniac part), and where he had teachers who were interested as much in supporting growth in character as they were in academic knowledge.

It's tough seeing our kids struggle with challenges, but those same challenges can also eventually lead to tremendous strengths. Hang in there - things will be ok! And you're doing exactly what you need to do - thinking through the questions, figuring out the path ahead. Your dd will be fine

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

Weakness - Not crossing midline

Strength - the ability to raise each eyebrow independently..and make people think you are cool.

URGH - not crossing midline that was the bane of my existence for years and years!!! That's cross lateralization of the brain or lateralization of brain function. Like I and others have said, it's the neurologically wiring. You can improve or enhance it but you cannot put more bits in or connect A to B when the neural pathway goes from say H to P instead.

Ds was born with something like hemiplegia so he didn't have 'normal' use of the left side of his body. Unfortunately for me, this enhanced ds's cognitive abilities in ways I never expected/anticipated and with whatever ds already genetically inherited. Ds learned to compensate extremely well within nanoseconds since he was a baby and this has created a real roller coaster experience with him as a result.

Swimming and/or water therapy can help with lateralization of the brain. Ds had water therapy at 6.5 years old. No one said ds had to be an athlete or suddenly be coordinated, but the ability to swim and be in water therapy was non-negotiable. A lot of water therapy involved making the equivalent movements of snow angels in the water.

Swimming requires the use of both legs and arms and core body muscles. Plus, being the water is more energy efficient and provides more buoyancy or less chance to fudge using both sides of the body and brain. Now at 10, and after many years of getting ds to swim, ds actually enjoys swimming. So there is hope.

Raising both eyebrows independently is a pretty cool trick. How many people could do that? I'm sure there's other cool stuff your dd can do too. Start making a list of them.

Keep focusing on the strengths and don't try to drown in the weaknesses, I say. Try to avoid staring at that midline rabbit hole! Oy vey. Better to flip the negative into something more positive and how the wacky neurological wiring may be a real boon for creativity and life in general. Make light of it and see the funny side of the topsy turvy situation.

hm, we are still struggling with this for our dd, who has been through vision therapy 1x, and is now back to doing computer based vision therapy to get the last small bit of conversion issues dealt with - it is only 7 minutes a day so , so far, that makes it bearable.
ALso found out my son had some convergence issues that had been previously undiagnosed, very glad to get it identified before starting back at the regular school. He is still not a reading speed-demon, but at least not falling behind.

This vision stuff is sneaky!!

cdfox! The world needs more of you. Making light of the situation is something I love to try to do..:)

She has a double uvula. She is trying to operate each one separately. Imagine she manages that? lol

She swims 4 days a week. I just bought her private lessons because to breathe, she rotates completely onto her back and the rotates her whole body back into the water. It's so funny. Sometimes she after she is on her back to breathe, she continue the way she was turning and does a complete rotation.

It's ridiculous!

There, making light of the situation right?

yes, agree with this, however still is not always going to be fixable, but easier perhaps to deal with when and if the underlying cause is known. (Or causes)
Very best of luck to you.

Chris1234,

Interested in computer based vision therapy. She went it for another round of VP and finished the first section, but there was so much homework and she wouldn't do it.

So I stopped paying.

They also took away her prism glasses, which she wouldn't wear anyway.

She has distance glasses now, and she wore them all the time and lost them.

I'm really not sure how much I believe those vision therapy people who said that the reason she couldn't see distance was because she was over focusing close up causing her eyes to weaken. But she clearly needed the distance glasses 6 months later.

It's all so confusing! I will let you know if she gets that double uvula working independently!

Just thought I'd pipe in that young kids can work really hard to focus, and it can lead to weakness in one or both eyes (things like strabismus and amblyopia). When you give them glasses, they finally don't have to work so hard, and after a while, you might think the eyes have gotten weaker because they can't really see without the glasses any more. But what really happened is the eyes aren't having to work so hard, they let the glasses do some of the work. Hopefully it means fewer headaches from eye strain, and no mis-aligned eyes.

Just wanted to reassure you that wearing glasses likely didn't make her eyes weaker. At least, that is what the several doctors (both ophthalmologists and optometrists) I have dealt with for myself and my kids have said over the years. :-) My DD actually wore far-sighted glasses for a year at age 6, and then didn't need them any more -- developmentally her eyes strengthened. DS, however, has a very strong far-sighted Rx, and has since he was just over a year old.

Not completely ridiculous to rotate on your back to breathe. One popular learn to swim technique when my daughter was young was to first teach them to roll on their back. Only when they had that down pat move them to only rotating far enough to breathe. The claim was this taught better habits & provided a pool safe kid younger then kids who try and yank their heads straight up.