Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help

Hi, I have been trying to get my N.D. public school to work with me on getting my 2nd grader more skill appropriate class work. I have never had him tested for being "gifted". I honestly don't like that term because I think most children have gifted potential. My son is testing at 4-5th grade in math and 5-6th grade in reading. I started having conversations with his teacher and principal at the begining of first grade about challenging him at math in particular. I was told the school could do nothing for him until 3rd grade. Well next year is 3rd grade and I'm hoping you folks out there can help me with my year end conversation with the school on what they are going to do to help him. I worry he isn't learning how to work through challenges because everything he does is school is too easy for him. He is perfectly content doing great without having to try. I have been making him work at home but the kids smart enough to grumble I thought this is what I go to school for. He's got a point I really can't argue with. I'm afraid of making him hate math. He's always been the kind of kid who thrives on approval and works way harder to gain his teachers than his moms. Mom is just being mean and demanding. I have considered home schooling but I don't think that would be good for him plus I think he's going to outpace me in math in a few years. I'd appreciate any suggestions that will help me and the school to see eye to eye on my sons education before I have another conversation with them.

Hi Rosa,
Your situation sounds a lot like mine.

I'm still navigating school so I may not the most helpful, but do know that you are not alone. We did end up testing and while so far the school has not changed much of their curriculum, they are allowing us to drop off late and pick early for enrichment opportunities that we do outside of school.

Testing has also given me peace of mind in knowing my instincts were right.

Good Luck!

Thanks for answering. My goals are to see my child having to struggle with something and I know that sounds bad. He doesn't have to work at anything in school. We are very fortunate in life and he has virtually no adversity he has to work through to overcome. I worry he's not learning to work at learning in school and the effect that will have later when things do get challenging at school and in life. I worry he's becoming accustomed to things being easy and won't be able to adapt when he does face difficulties in the future. Our school has very little to offer for a gifted program and pretty much told me to buzz off until 3rd grade not in those words of course. That was unacceptable to me so we started doing skill appropriate work at home. I know of a few student that they allow to take math classes in higher grades. I'm not to concerned about the reading. He's reached a point where if he advances any more I have concerns about subject matter. My child is very happy other than he has a hard time with friends. Nothing major, just typical how do I fit in stuff.This year he has a great teacher who tries to give him some challenge and seems to agree with me that he needs more. I have emailed her to start the process for next year. If she's with me I know the school will pay more attention. I've been torn about getting him tested on our own but if that's what it takes to get the school to work with me I will get it done this summer. I think my child is gifted at learning easily but im not so sure about him being gifted. His father was considered gifted and there are a few others on his dad's side. I am not gifted to be totally honest I'm not all that smart. I felt it was important and my job to have my child reading, writing, and doing simple math before kindergarten. I never expected my son to advance so quickly, I just wanted to give him the basics. I guess I'm just looking for more tools or info on how to get what I want. Which is to have a say in my sons education. I'm willing to work with the school. I just don't feel like they've been willing to work with me. I intend to change that.

Thanks for responding, I appreciate you taking the time. It was helpful to know it's not just me. I think the school feels I'm a overbearing parent full of misplaced mommy pride but I don't care. I'm going to do what's right for my kid with or without them. It made me so mad when they told me there's nothing they could do. If my child had a learning disability theres no way they could get away with the do nothing approach. Thanks again.

Sadly this isn't the case in many schools (not saying it is right, just saying that it happens all too often at least where I live). I can hardly believe some of the stories from one of my friends who's child has low vision....

In addition to academics we've tried to challenge the kids in other areas which is easier to control/achieve on our own. Things like music, drama, the arts, team sports, individual sports, clubs, 4H, scouting, etc. might be potential things to consider. My DS in particular isn't particularly sporty but we keep him in sports for many reasons beyond the exercise.

Hope you can get some traction with the school. It can be a challenge.

Your battle is partially won if his teacher is supportive. I would grill her in person (might be reticent in writing) for every bit of info about the gifted program in 3rd grade, including qualification criteria, testing, etc. If entrance is not based on testing or even if it is, it may not hurt to have some documentation of your own. Johns Hopkins University's Center for Talented Youth (JHU-CTY) provides SCAT testing for 2nd graders year round for a modest fee (under $100).

From what you write, your son is very likely gifted. Typical students are not testing that far above grade levels. If you dislike the g word (and many of us do), there are a very others to consider "academically talented" or "academically advanced" or "high ability learner."

It is, frankly, appalling common for schools to think it perfectly acceptable for such students to sit around while everyone else learns new material or takes much longer to learn it.

You should find some great case studies of options on this forum if you nose around a bit. Also, the main Davidson website has some great articles on working with your school.

GOOD LUCK!

Wanted to say thank you for the book suggestion. I've been running out of ideas and every time I look in the bookstore there's too many choices to decide. I like the homeschooling aspect too.