Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy When and what should I say to new teacher?

Hi,

I think I'm overthinking this so have come for advice. DD8 has just started year 3 in Australia. She's MG with a FSIQ of 138, very even cognitive profile, overall high achievement. Overall doing extremely well. She's been allowed to move ahead in maths by about 2 years last year (would be happy doing more) and this is essential for her happiness - we tested her in the first place because we knew she was mathy and she was irritable and disengaged. She's at the top of her year (about 100 kids) for literacy based tasks but exceptional with maths/science and generally presents as enthusiastic and engaged.

However, her teacher last year said that there was general resistance within the school to subject acceleration and that even though he'd make it clear that she needs it, it was, to some extent, up to the individual teacher to provide it.

So, I've met the teacher, who seems nice and DD has settled in quite well. How long do I leave it before I email her or should I give it a term so she can get to know DD? DD doesn't want to repeat stuff she's already done. The school does offer G and T pull outs but it's not enough - my older DD was part of it but she still asked DD8 when she got stuck.

And what should I say?

Dear -

My daughter seems to have settled nicely into your class. As you are probably aware DD8 has been working 2-3 years ahead in maths and we've found that her enthusiasm for school work is enhanced when she's challenged in her area of strength. I appreciate that it's important you make your own assessment of her, but if you agree that year level maths is insufficiently challenging then I know she'd thrive with harder work.

I'm happy to have a phone conversation or chat about this at any stage.

Yours sincerely,

Etc

Is that a bit too "stiff"? I don't want her thinking I'm "that" parent.

Wish I knew. NZ school starts on Tuesday and I am afraid with ds6 now being one of the oldest in his year and the most advanced all hell will break loose.

The letter sounds fine to me but do you have a parent teacher thing within a few weeks? It may be easier in person.

Maybe just a little stiff in the "I appreciate..." sentence, but then again, it depends on personality. For me, I'd rather meet in person, so I'd be less specific, more open-ended -- perhaps that you would appreciate meeting to discuss the teacher's plans for continuing her growth, and how you might support and assist with her goals. I'm not sure my political politeness tactic works though.

Also, now I'm feeling envious that she's doing math 2y ahead when my similarly profiled DD is lucky to get a half to a year ahead extension with anything more welcomed at home (which DD isn't really up for). I guess I need to be more pushy.

Thanks for the replies. I agree that in person would be better but I'm wary of overloading the teacher so early in the school year when presumably everyone wants to talk about their child.

I know I've been lucky so far and it was actually her previous teacher who recommended her being tested in the first place so that it would be easier to advocate for harder maths.

I'll give it a few weeks, she'll have had a few assessments by then and her teacher will know her a bit better.

Longcut, I hate being potentially thought of as pushy but if I'm not my sparkly, enthusiastic daughter gets belligerent. She's not so gifted that she can't be catered for at school and the modifications, IMO, arent too drastic.

My DD isn't up for anything extra at home and is busy with a whole heap of sport and music.

Good luck Puffin!

It's such a challenge for me; pushy, blunt, and persistent are harder than being concessionary and allowing more time. I would say waiting 2-3 weeks from start date before asking for a meeting is sufficient; then you have the chance to feel out the teacher's personality and how your words might be taken. And I'm impressed that your DD has had her needs met in school -- what a great position to have reached last year! I have met resistance in that regard, but when I see what is possible through others, it really helps me.