Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Atlantic commentary on a 2e special ed experience

She's about as cynical as I feel most of the time. Teachers can't even differentiate work for students who are in the "normal" range, or students who are mildly gifted, so how would they ever do it for a student who is twice exceptional? I went through a lot of effort to get an IEP for DD and I'm not sure if the teachers have even read it. Things that seem like they should be very basic, like modifying the assignments, aren't done in any sort of regular way. And the communication is horrible.
We have a private 2e school in the area but I don't exactly have the $60k per year for tuition for two kids. Parents who are not wealthy have few options, because even the best school districts can't seem to figure out how to make special education work and it's like a full-time job trying to advocate and negotiate with the school, and then work with the child at home on things that they should be doing in school.

Thank you for sharing the article. I live half-an-hour from Prince George's county where this takes place. I will say, that the schools there have a reputation for having a lot of difficulties. I can only imagine how difficult her IEP meetings were. Most of my friends who live in Prince George's county either homeschool or send their kids to private school- in fact, the last family I knew who's children were in the public school, have since moved away. Some of the families that homeschool have told me they wish they had another option- they just don't see one.

It's not like a full-time job Blackcat - it IS my full-time job. That may be why I have (finally) been successful in getting DD into a good place. But it has taken 5 years of blood, sweat and tears (and lots of time, money and help from the folks here on this board) to get there. Most parents don't have this luxury and most kids don't have 5 years to waste.

At the beginning I was treated like I had 3 heads. DD was "too smart" to even be evaluated much less be deserving of any special services. She was "lazy", "manipulative", "not even trying", "refusing to do her work" and the like. I was "overprotective", "making excuses" and "trying to get special treatment". She and I were both treated *horribly* - her psychologist eventually labeled DD's school situation as "abusive". It took 3 years with that psychologist to work through the PTS she developed just from attending K-2. And this was with having the LD's identified the summer after K. I can't even imagine what kids go through if they are not identified until middle school or later...

Along the way I went from being dismissed, to being insulted, to being tolerated, to being feared and am now respected. Every single issue I have presented, advocated for, fought for has eventually been borne out by experts. Every question I have asked has proven to be legitimate. Every concern has been proven appropriate. But this is only because I have the luxury of working on this full time. My heart breaks for the kids who get dismissed, ignored or abused because their parents don't have this option or don't "get it" themselves.

As DD has gotten older her speech gives her away immediately as "a special Ed kid" so no one seems to resent the special Ed services (and the high price tag that goes along with them) anymore. Now people tend to think I'm a loon about the gifted part because y'know those kids on the short bus are "special" - they just can't be smart. Mentioning that my 5th grader is doing a high school literature curriculum tends to put an end to that and leaves many small minded people dazed and confused. So I guess we've gone from "smart but lazy" to "special Ed but smart". At least now she's getting what she needs but no, it's not an easy system to navigate and no most parents don't have the option of doing this full time.

Thank goodness I have had the temperament for a take no prisoners approach, the luxury to devote significant resources to the battle and to live in an area where the needed resources are available. And thank goodness I found this site at the beginning of this battle. The folks here have really been the driving force to get through all of this. There should be an easier way to allow the average family to access what their kids need but I have no idea how to make that happen.

Our district is constantly cutting special ed. Whenever they find themselves needing to balance the budget, they cut special ed teachers, and I suspect that the spec. ed directors are actually giving out directives to the schools to reduce the number of kids they evaluate, the number of assessments they give, etc. The school fought me when I asked them to test DD for math fluency, which takes just a few minutes (they were giving her parts of the Woodcock Johnson ANYWAY). They actually sent me a prior written notice stating that it is not necessary to honor this request which was infuriating. They might as well scream out to me "We will do as little as possible and you are a nut!" The special ed directors gave the "Ok" for the school to do this. Then in the IEP eligibility meeting they claimed that DD would be pulled out in a group for writing with 5 or 6 other kids, it would be at an inappropriate time, and it wouldn't do any good, so therefore she's better off without an IEP and the teachers could work with her in the classroom. The teachers agreed. Even though DD wasn't writing at all in class her gifted teacher claimed that a lot of gifted kids are like her and "it always gets better." It was a group of 8 or 9 people vs. us, the parents. I asked if DD could get a para for the parts of the day where she is most off task (because the eval showed her to be very off task) and the spec. ed director said "I wouldn't know." Ummm, what? They didn't have a single suggestion of how they were going to help her other than the math teacher suggesting that he could send her out in the hallway to work by herself. So yeah, I am actually flabbergasted that that the school in the article was talking about ANY special services or a special school, even if they were inappropriate, because I couldn't even get an IEP until I fought them, got an IEE (which confirmed all my concerns), the evaluator negotiated with the spec. ed director, etc. But even after all that, I question how much it actually helps. DD is pulled out for writing but it IS with 5 other kids, and I don't think the teachers have bothered to read her IEP. The other day the teacher sent home a test with a score of 50 percent which was incomplete. DD said that the teacher refused to let her finish it, claiming that she had given DD enough time (she made DD turn it in when the next slowest kid in the class turned it in). It shouldn't be rocket science to figure out that this is inappropriate. And every time I have to send an email asking questions about things like this, I get further and further into the crazy mom zone.

We are supposedly in one of the best districts in Illinois and we have the same issues. Our district does fairly well for kids that are neurotypical and gifted (DS15 is an example of that though his instruction has been lacking at times), but not for 2e.

We've experienced all of the same problems and have to constantly fight the school to get them to comply with the IEP. Some teachers and classroom aides seem to intuitively get DS12 and his issues, but others don't, and don't seem to care either.

A couple of things that have worked for us:

1) We hired a special ed attorney who accompanies us to all IEP meetings. This prevents the district from pulling a fast one and denying services. We usually get what we want out the meetings.

2) I re-wrote the accommodations part of the IEP to explain each accommodation in detail, why it exists, and how to apply it. I've also distributed this section to all teachers and aides as an "IEP at a Glance". This is a recent development but appears to be working so far.

I may end up needing to do this, esp. when she goes to middle school. The idea of trying to work with 5 different teachers, rather than just 2, makes me want to rip my hair out.