... four... swimming lessons... wanted him to dunk his head. He refused so they dunked him.
I'm so sorry this happened. Please know that not all lessons are conducted this way! For many swim instruction classes, there is no pressure: when introducing and practicing each skill, the child's participation in each skill activity is considered optional. A child "graduates" to the next level when they have
voluntarily performed each skill, showing the
confidence to
freely choose to do so.
A program which boasts of passing the majority of kids quickly through the progression of skills may be conducted differently than a program which places emphasis on the child's voluntary participation and manages parental expectations that it may be rare for a child to progress through skill levels in one class (2-3 repetitions of a level may be the norm).
I cannot imagine any swimming instructor behaving that way. I hope you made a complaint.
If I understand correctly, the parent was possibly a bit intimidated or swayed by what appeared to be the prevailing views expressed by the other parents present at the time: "
other parents of similar age kids who all told me not to worry, that it would be worse if I took him out of lessons and that their own kids reacted that way the first time, blah...blah...blah."
Dunking, like many risk-taking approaches, may be controversial with strong views on both sides. I would not tend to include dunking among
appropriate risks. My concern is not only for how the child processes dunking in regard to their sense of safety in water (while some may decide being dunked was fun, some may not)... Dunking may role model physically forceful behavior, and hinder the development of trust of authority figures.
