Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion First day of summer camp was a disaster!

I'm so sorry this happened. Please know that not all lessons are conducted this way! For many swim instruction classes, there is no pressure: when introducing and practicing each skill, the child's participation in each skill activity is considered optional. A child "graduates" to the next level when they have voluntarily performed each skill, showing the confidence to freely choose to do so.

A program which boasts of passing the majority of kids quickly through the progression of skills may be conducted differently than a program which places emphasis on the child's voluntary participation and manages parental expectations that it may be rare for a child to progress through skill levels in one class (2-3 repetitions of a level may be the norm).

I think it's important not to put eggs in one basket regarding a friend at camp. Sometimes kids who are close at one place are not close at another. For parent and child both, relying on this can be risky. It is okay if the other boy does not want to play with your son...KWIM? I would want to have a discussion about this, because it will probably happen again.

I also think, and this may sound very pessimistic, that depending on your educational plans, you may need to talk to your son about how environments may not provide the kind of challenge or the level and depth he wants and can get at home. It is a lesson gifted kids have to learn unless exclusively homeschooled or in a very unique environment, I think. It's important to be able to enjoy environments despite this.

Another advantage of staying in and trying various programs is that you may meet other parents and kids who you may connect and/or who may be able to tell you where to find a more appropriate experience. I know and my kids know that we can't expect much from a general age-based science camp, but sometimes we get surprised by a good instructor or just a really fun activity--it's out there. For challenge, you might look for a lego or robotics league or chess.

ITA with ultramarina -


I'd also suggest thinking about this from the other child's point of view - would you expect your child to be expected to always play with the same friend?


Realizing that expectations may not equal reality also happens with non-gifted kids and camps too. And fwiw, my kids have had good experiences and a lot of fun over the years in camps that weren't specifically for gifted kids. I've also found that with two of my three kids, when I ask them what they did or how their day went when they were at a camp or in any type of multiple-hour activity, their first inclination is to tell me about what they *didn't* like rather than what was fun or interesting. I think it's important to dig deep enough to find things that a child can look at as positive and really know for sure that the camp either was or wasn't as negative as it sounds.


The other thing that may happen is that your child may make a connection with another child. The interesting thing I found over the years watching my kids go through our area's science/outdoors/etc type summer camps was that, even though they weren't "gifted" camps and even though they didn't have admissions requirements etc - there was a basic group of children that my children landed in camps with repeatedly - not all the same children at each camp, but there would be children throughout the years that my children would be in camp with and know from previous camps. Quite a large number of these children turned out to be the same kids who were in gifted classes/etc once they were in school. So I wouldn't assume your child is out there all in his own little lonely land just because he's intellectually gifted and the camp isn't teaching kids high-level stuff.

Best wishes,

polarbear

We had a similar crash and burn experience at summer camp last week.
To give us something fun and creative to fill our time, my son decided to sign up for the online school of wizardry through https://diy.org/camps. It started last Saturday and has been a good experience so far--a new activity every day, which is a big help to me as a non-crafty mom.

I would withdraw him if it's a bad experience. Just because every other kid loves it doesn't mean your kid will love it, or that it's the right environment for him. We have had some really up and down camp experiences.

It's important to keep in mind that a lot of camps are staffed by high school or college kids who need a summer job. They may have no experience with kids like yours. They are rarely teachers, and a most camps aren't going to run like a classroom. So you aren't really going to teach your kid how to survive in elementary school by sending them to camp.

When DD was younger we had a lot of trouble with camps being too loud/busy/chaotic and with counselors who expected that a kid who could talk like an adult ought to be able to behave with maturity, too. She isn't an introvert but has a lot of sensory processing issues which get pounded on in loud, busy places.

I've found it easiest to pick the "right" camp by calling up whoever's in charge and asking them a lot of questions about who they hire to staff the camp, how many kids are in a "class", what the schedule and environment are like, and so on.

Yes, I agree with this also, and it's kind of what I was trying to get at.


I think adjusting to camp is actually pretty applicable to adjusting to school. You have to meet and figure out how to hang out with new kids; you have to work with new authority figures; and there are new routines and experiences to adapt to. You're not expected to perform educationally or learn much, but in a way that just makes it easier to practice those "soft" school skills.

I wanted to provide an update. After three days of misery, I let my son withdraw from the camp. He was so unhappy when I picked him up from the third day of camp. He seemed zoned out and really sad. I found out that most of the third day had been spent on all-camp activities, so about 100 kids were all chanting and playing a huge all-camp game of dodge ball. My son was hit in the head and just fell apart. He wasn't injured, but rather in sensory overload and couldn't cope with it. He also complained that the camp didn't follow the lesson plan for the day (posted on the website). He said the kids just sat in a room and spent hours gluing paper and cardboard together, added an LED at the end and called it science. They apparently did the same activity all three days.

I talked to a psychologist who works with my son on social skills and she agreed there wasn't any upside to keeping him in the camp if he was miserable. She said that camp is too chaotic and unstructured for introverted or sensitive kids. I wish she had told us before we signed up!

My son is open to trying another camp so I signed him up for a quiet, nature camp where he will only spend three hours a day with a small group of children learning about bugs, soil chemistry and wilderness survival skills. The psychologist said it's a good fit for sensitive kids. My son loves spending time in the woods so I think he will be happy even if the camp content isn't particularly engaging.

I'm glad that I let him leave the camp after trying it out for a few days. I think that he is willing to try a new camp because he knows I will listen to him if it doesn't work out. He seems like he really does want to go to a camp and have a positive experience.


Thanks again for the range of perspectives you provided. It really helped me to be thoughtful about this decision.

Personally, I would print the lesson plan from the camp website and inquire about the schedule of activities which took place, and how these activities fulfilled what was posted. If they do not provide an answer and/or if the answer does not match facts your son observed, then they are engaging in false advertising and deceptive practices. If they did not deliver what they promised, then I would ask for a refund.

Bait-and-switch is unethical, and an observant kid might develop trust issues from seeing this type of behavior ensue behind parents' backs. IMO, this is *not* about a kid being sensitive, this is about a system being disingenuous.

Please praise your child for telling you what he observed.

Not a fan of dodge ball. I understand there are versions with soft, squishy balls to avoid injury. Center for Disease Control (CDC) has a document explaining about concussion, including signs and symptoms. Your description of "zoned out and really sad" might be a sign that he could be checked for concussion.

I would still talk with the people who run this camp before it starts-- get information from them about how they handle children who don't instantly fit in, and give the person who will be with the children a sense of who your child is.

Preparation can help ease the way-- adults who run camps can't always be expected to "get it" but often will try hard if they know there's a challenge.

That sounds like a good fit. I hope it works out better.