Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Underlying issue to investigate or normative?

it may be something as simple as asynchronous development or something to monitor... DS4 is not quite as high LOG as your son is displaying, but at 3, he hated anything to do with drawing, writing, art and from what we seen, DS is very age average physically but mentally ahead. We plan to do an OT evaluation this summer since his motor skills are his weakness and we don't want it to be a weakness that holds him back or frustrates him - I understand from our discussion with the psychologist we consulted (the one we did testing with) that as long as his motor skills are age appropriate right now, the gap between his motor and mental levels is not an issue, but if his motor skills fall below age appropriate, then it is a cause for concern. The earlier you catch specific gaps, the easier it is to correct... but we do have family history with LDs like dysgraphia hence we need to monitor more closely.

However, having said that - as I mentioned, DS at 3 hated, hated anything art, playdough or paper related. I don't know if it was his daycare environment or just he was not ready yet... but this year, he is in a GT school, and now, a year later, loves art and loves doing drawings. He is still age-appropriate for writing but he does not hesitate to draw (trucks, scenes etc - he happy finds the markers and pencils and gets busy, and his art club is one of his favorite activities at school now). I do not know how much is simply being in an environment where they do not push him to finish paperwork, but they expect everyone to put in best effort and simply make it fun. But whatever it is, at home, he is constantly drawing scenes and comes home with drawings that he made and writing they did in school.

And this was the year where suddenly, he really got into Lego and doing the Lego kits himself - even though the kits are for 7+, we just give him the book and kit and he does it all himself now. He used to ask me to help with stickers and now he figured out how to get them onto the tiny legos himself - so the only time we get involved is if there is something he can not do yet due to a motor skill or if something got slightly out of alignment and we need to trace back where it is. Before this year, despite all the blocks and duplos (we have a younger child so we limited certain toys until this year due to choking hazards when she was in the mouthy stage), he was eh about blocks. His sister at 2.5 has been way more into the duplos then he was at the same age.

Also regarding to reading... how sensitive is he to feeling like being a trick pony? DH and I suspect that DS is very sensitive to this and focuses a lot of energy into blending in - we had no idea he could read until months after his shadowing day at the GT school at 3.8, and they said he was reading words off the wall. So DH asked him and he said "I just wanted to surprise you." So we don't push him. Even today, with books I know he can read, if he wants us to read, we just read - and have not pushed him to read to us.

My not-at-all-professional opinion is that there are significant contraindications here, so no worries.

NVLD - Whiz at hidden picture game. He can do a puzzle well, he just prefers not to. Some of his food preparation activities are direct analogs to cutting and pasting. Handling a screwdriver requires more coordination than handling a pen or a paint brush. My strength is in non-verbal, and I also had limited interest in Legos/blocks, zero interest in art projects.

ADHD - Well behaved in public. Focused on reading. The bouncing around during TV shows is probably indicative of the fact that it leaves a lot of his cognitive power unused.

So, rather than these two hypotheses, I'd propose that some of your concerns indicate he's exhibiting some task-avoidant perfectionism, he's extremely extroverted, and displays some overexcitabilities/sensitivities. None of these are a second E, but they're worth working on.

As for the social connection with other kids and preferring adults, I wouldn't worry about that for now, although it would probably be worth looking into connecting him with older kids, if possible.

[quote=aquinas]never crawled, started walking at 9mo; very early hand coordination for pincer grasp and tool use). But he has quirks that stand out, like the stairs--he'll only use his right leg to climb--and the arts and crafts refusal (while eagerly helping me build shelves or do woodworking).
This happened (re reading) with my dyslexic dd. It also happened with my 2e ds who really doesn't have any reading challenges - or so we think. When he did pick up reading he picked it up like gangbusters and was reading at an extraordinarily high level. Now in high school I sometimes wonder about his reading comprehension. Deciphering what's what with 2e kids isn't easy! With my dyslexic dd, it was definitely related to a true challenge that impacted reading. I think it's always worth listening to your gut - if you test and then find out everything's ok, that's ok! And it will save a lot of worry. If you test and find out there is a challenge, then you'll be very happy that you looked into it while your ds was still young.

polarbear

Overall, I think it is too early to be concerned; I think Dude's hypotheses have quite a bit of merit.

OTOH, there are things I would keep an eye on, such as the bilateral coordination--not because of any link with dyslexia (yes--since found to be bogus), but for purely OT/PT reasons. I would also be observant about what his actual level of reading decoding skill is, whenever he lets a hint slip out. With his oral vocabulary and cognitive language abilities, it is perfectly reasonable that his own decoding skills, even if they are, say, at a third-grade level, might feel too slow for the level of text that he wishes to access. At the same time, after two years of reading (though covert), some level of automaticity in word calling might be imagined to have emerged (i.e., faster, more fluent reading).

I wouldn't bother with formal testing of the cog/ach/neuropsych type at this age, though, as you will most likely be assessing compliance and time-to-fatigue more than anything else.

Waxing and waning: well, he's still in the age-range for which food jags occur among many NT kiddos. No reason that might not happen for other interests as well.

In any case, even if, worst case, there is something that needs remediation, it is highly unlikely that anything irreversible will happen in the next couple of years without him making you unmistakably aware of it by his distress first.

aquinas, I can understand why you are concerned. More than a 1/3 of what you wrote applies to my DD4.

Her life functions are not severely impaired but I am starting to worry about her a lot. I don't really understand her and she and I are very close. A lot of DD's issues come down to compliance but she also seems very ADHD.

For us, despite some of the problems we've had, sending her to a small school where she was forced to socialize with children of all abilities was the right call in the long run. It hasn't been easy and when she comes home complaining about feeling lonely and disconnected, my heart aches for her but it turns out a lot of the problems was caused by her social rigidity (my way or highway). She can't always pick and choose people she has to work with, even when she is an adult so I wasn't comfortable with limiting her socialization to the few friends she has chosen. We are trying to give her life skills and remediate some of her ADHD traits even if they never become severe enough to get a diagnosis.

So I agree with Dude. Even if the behaviors do not add up to a disability, they still need to be addressed if they are having a negative impact on his development.

This seems normal given his age. When DD10 was younger she would often regress just before a developmental milestone and demonstrate major OEs. Even at 8 she would have spates of over regularizing verbs and saying things like "I amn't" instead of "I'm not". These episodes have become more sporadic as her developmental arc's gradient has flattened. He is probably working on his sense of self as an autonomous being also - which is utterly normal.

Take all of the above with a large pinch of salt because I am a total amateur with this stuff.

I am going against the grain here. Given that he is 3, I would say he just went through an intellectual growth period. Many of the concerns seem focused around sensory and visual/motor to me. I think a thorough evaluation from a sensory OT that addresses gaps would be a worthwhile Investment. The growth period appears uneven to me, which is why I feel gaps would be important to address. I, personally, feel if these gaps are not addressed, then secondary delays may develop.

I am normally a big advocate for vision therapy. However, I feel your son is too young at this time. I would keep my eye on vision development for the next several years and readdress after age 5, if relevant.

Hugs and deep breaths being sent your way, Aquinas! I have to run out the door now, but expect a more in-depth response later. Until then, have a glass of wine and try not to stress!