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Also regarding to reading... how sensitive is he to feeling like being a trick pony? DH and I suspect that DS is very sensitive to this and focuses a lot of energy into blending in - we had no idea he could read until months after his shadowing day at the GT school at 3.8, and they said he was reading words off the wall. So DH asked him and he said "I just wanted to surprise you." So we don't push him. Even today, with books I know he can read, if he wants us to read, we just read - and have not pushed him to read to us.

Polarbear, all hugs and advice gratefully accepted! To save space, I haven't quoted your extremely helpful post.

Yes, you're so right about googling. Nothing good is coming from that.

In a nutshell, I think you're right that the "answer" to this will probably unfold over time. I'm trying to disentangle what is probably normally developing EF and frustration tolerance from possible motor issues. DS has easily passed all his motor milestones up to his 3 year well child visit, and was early on several (dragged himself to my breast the night after birth; never crawled, started walking at 9mo; very early hand coordination for pincer grasp and tool use). But he has quirks that stand out, like the stairs--he'll only use his right leg to climb--and the arts and crafts refusal (while eagerly helping me build shelves or do woodworking).

What concerns me is the drop off in motivation in areas of previous interest, like the reading. If it's organic, that's fine. Passions wax and wane. I just don't want to have some physical impediment stymie an interest.

I think it's worth shopping these observations by his ped to see if she feels an OT or development vision evaluation is merited.

My not-at-all-professional opinion is that there are significant contraindications here, so no worries.

NVLD - Whiz at hidden picture game. He can do a puzzle well, he just prefers not to. Some of his food preparation activities are direct analogs to cutting and pasting. Handling a screwdriver requires more coordination than handling a pen or a paint brush. My strength is in non-verbal, and I also had limited interest in Legos/blocks, zero interest in art projects.

ADHD - Well behaved in public. Focused on reading. The bouncing around during TV shows is probably indicative of the fact that it leaves a lot of his cognitive power unused.

So, rather than these two hypotheses, I'd propose that some of your concerns indicate he's exhibiting some task-avoidant perfectionism, he's extremely extroverted, and displays some overexcitabilities/sensitivities. None of these are a second E, but they're worth working on.

As for the social connection with other kids and preferring adults, I wouldn't worry about that for now, although it would probably be worth looking into connecting him with older kids, if possible.

This happened (re reading) with my dyslexic dd. It also happened with my 2e ds who really doesn't have any reading challenges - or so we think. When he did pick up reading he picked it up like gangbusters and was reading at an extraordinarily high level. Now in high school I sometimes wonder about his reading comprehension. Deciphering what's what with 2e kids isn't easy! With my dyslexic dd, it was definitely related to a true challenge that impacted reading. I think it's always worth listening to your gut - if you test and then find out everything's ok, that's ok! And it will save a lot of worry. If you test and find out there is a challenge, then you'll be very happy that you looked into it while your ds was still young.

polarbear

Aquinas, sending you a pm.

Overall, I think it is too early to be concerned; I think Dude's hypotheses have quite a bit of merit.

OTOH, there are things I would keep an eye on, such as the bilateral coordination--not because of any link with dyslexia (yes--since found to be bogus), but for purely OT/PT reasons. I would also be observant about what his actual level of reading decoding skill is, whenever he lets a hint slip out. With his oral vocabulary and cognitive language abilities, it is perfectly reasonable that his own decoding skills, even if they are, say, at a third-grade level, might feel too slow for the level of text that he wishes to access. At the same time, after two years of reading (though covert), some level of automaticity in word calling might be imagined to have emerged (i.e., faster, more fluent reading).

I wouldn't bother with formal testing of the cog/ach/neuropsych type at this age, though, as you will most likely be assessing compliance and time-to-fatigue more than anything else.

Waxing and waning: well, he's still in the age-range for which food jags occur among many NT kiddos. No reason that might not happen for other interests as well.

In any case, even if, worst case, there is something that needs remediation, it is highly unlikely that anything irreversible will happen in the next couple of years without him making you unmistakably aware of it by his distress first.

aquinas, I can understand why you are concerned. More than a 1/3 of what you wrote applies to my DD4.

Her life functions are not severely impaired but I am starting to worry about her a lot. I don't really understand her and she and I are very close. A lot of DD's issues come down to compliance but she also seems very ADHD.

For us, despite some of the problems we've had, sending her to a small school where she was forced to socialize with children of all abilities was the right call in the long run. It hasn't been easy and when she comes home complaining about feeling lonely and disconnected, my heart aches for her but it turns out a lot of the problems was caused by her social rigidity (my way or highway). She can't always pick and choose people she has to work with, even when she is an adult so I wasn't comfortable with limiting her socialization to the few friends she has chosen. We are trying to give her life skills and remediate some of her ADHD traits even if they never become severe enough to get a diagnosis.

So I agree with Dude. Even if the behaviors do not add up to a disability, they still need to be addressed if they are having a negative impact on his development.

This seems normal given his age. When DD10 was younger she would often regress just before a developmental milestone and demonstrate major OEs. Even at 8 she would have spates of over regularizing verbs and saying things like "I amn't" instead of "I'm not". These episodes have become more sporadic as her developmental arc's gradient has flattened. He is probably working on his sense of self as an autonomous being also - which is utterly normal.

Take all of the above with a large pinch of salt because I am a total amateur with this stuff.

I just realized that our YDS (now 5) also did that climbing/descending stairs with one leg first (i.e., that leg moved first each time, the other pulled or stepped after it) and has stopped doing so without my realizing it until just now! He also used to hang onto the handrail for what appeared to be dear life. :-)

Funny - my DD10 still descends stairs this way, and I can't figure out why. She does other things well (riding a bike, skating) but this has always puzzled me. She _can_ use alternate legs but seems to prefer going one step at a time.

OTOH, my DS7 (who may have DCD) does stairs just fine. Although he does share some other similar traits to the OP's DS (hates to do arts and crafts, doesn't really do Lego).