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DD4 has been drawing stuff (namely people) and writing her name what I think is pretty well for awhile now. She has recently told me that she doesn't want to do it because she can't do it like it looks in her head. She gets very frustrated and wants us to draw things.
Not wanting to push her, but am a bit confused because this was an area she excelled in. Her older cousin (6) has told DD4 that all she does is scribbles, which kind of ticks me off, but hey, that's kids I guess. I think this is playing big on her. She sees herself as older than she is and compares herself to older kids/grown ups and I keep telling her she just needs to chip away little by little and she'll get there. She knows the pictures she drew of a horse doesn't really look like a horse, and she gives up.
Similar thing with reading, I got the impression she was what I call sneak-reading some site words several months ago, but she clams up now when I ask if she knows some word in a book.She says she can't read. I tell her that she's 4 and she doesn't need to read but she says she wants to. So I tell her we can work on it if she wants, but she doesn't seem to be up for it.
Perfectionistic tendencies may be a sign of developing a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset. One aspect or application is that gifted kids may stop taking appropriate risks in order to always be "right" or always be "smart" or never be "wrong", and this may work against them. The concept is nicely summarized in these youtube videos: Ashley Merryman & Po Bronson: The Myth of Praise (link- ) Teaching a Growth Mindset (link- )
Parents may wish to read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck for tips on promoting a growth mindset.
A book which seems to understand perfectionism very well and which many find supportive is What To Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough. Another book you might like is Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good. While insightful, these are written gently for kids, in a style that is fun and engaging. With any of these books it may be wise for a parent to pre-read and decide if it seems to be a helpful tool to use in guiding their child.
Procrastination can be closely related to perfectionism.
A child considering "worst case scenario" and finding various work-arounds to keep moving forward may in some cases help reduce anxiety and add an element of self-confidence, even a sense of looking forward to taking on the challenge.
All that having been said, possibly a good drawing book would be of interest to your daughter. There was a recent thread on drawing books.
For your child, regarding the drawing... maybe check out the book called "Ish" By Peter Reynolds. She may be able to relate to that.
It is interesting you mention about your DD getting frustrated because it does not look like what is in her head... because my kids were just watching a Creative Galaxy episode (Amazon prime show) where the main character messed up the portrait of his sister, or so he thought... and how art is really about what you like, not about having everything perfect on canvas.
My daughter (just turned four a few weeks ago) does the EXACT same thing with drawing often. Normally when she's trying to recreate an image she sees, but sometimes just drawing something specific from her head. Last June she was trying to draw a picture of my husband eating eggs for a Father's Day book (3 yrs 5.5 months at that point) and she was getting so angry that it would not come out exactly how she wanted. What I personally do if I feel she's getting too emotional over it is try and redirect her. I suggest she takes a break and do another task or play with something or what not to break the focus there and let her cool down. Sometimes it works and sometimes she just goes into meltdown mode. It's certainly been a lesson for me, because I am the same way!
