Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Not sure if I belong, but I'm out of help.

I'll preface this by stating my husband and are gifted parents. I am fortunate to be a stay at home mom and work with our three children daily. Our oldest is in kindergarten and was recommended for gifted testing. We are going through the channels and motions. This isn't my issue.

My son just turned 3. And I'm feeling defeated. He has a very different learning style (visual spacial maybe?) than my daughter and I do. I'm having issues meeting him in the middle, to give him the education he is demanding in an age appropriate vessel. He's becoming frustrated, not aggressive or any other behavior problem, because he wants more than I am able to deliver. He has tried to reason with me on his past birthday that he was not 3, but 5 and going to school too.

I cannot figure out how to simplify the topics he wishes to learn at home. I do not know of any other professionals who I can ask for help. I have spoken to my daughters school, the gifted advisor of the county, the state DOE gifted advisor, and his primary doctor. I have called other schools both public and private. I have called preschools to ask about curriculum and if they offer advanced work. I have been continuously pointed toward private school. Private schools recommend home schooling.

Where is a legitimate end point? We have 3 years until he is kindergarten eligible according to state law (FL). He is progressing incredibly fast, and I am hitting age limitations or no/low curriculum. What are my options as a mother to find him age appropriate curriculum based on his ability and want, demand rather, to learn? Would it be beneficial to have him tested? Would I be better served looking somewhere else? Who professionally can help me help my son?

Thank you.

I don't know if I can help, but I sympathize. My daughter is also 3 and we've struggled to find materials that are appropriate for her. It's hard to find things that are complex enough for her brain but simple enough for her fine motor skills -- for example, she can't write very well. She's already doing kindergarten-level material at home and sometimes elementary school material. I work with her part of the time and we have a nanny who used to be a preschool teacher who is with her when I'm working.
I am a curriculum designer professionally, working with museums, textbook publishers, and nonprofit organizations, so I put together my own materials for my daughter, using various sources. I might be able to help you find some materials for your son. Can you tell me more about his interests, learning style, etc? You can send a private message if you'd prefer not to share too much publicly.

What catches my attention is that it looks like he is trying to be just like his older sibling who is in school. Could any of it be just that he wants to be "attending" school? (i.e. instead of focusing on academic preschool, look for either mixed age or play-based where he is really going to his school - and see if this is in part related to the fact that your oldest has moved on to school) Even with DD2, when she realized DS4 was attending a different school from her (they were in same daycare before), she cried for a few days because she wanted to attend the same school as her brother.

As for the materials, I don't have anything to offer (we tend to ignore age recommendations and go by what we think would interest him - so like lego kits of stuff DS loves, mix of books of all kinds of things that we find interesting and in his areas of interest - but without knowing areas your child is interested in, I have no idea).

Welcome!

Have you looked into Gifted Homeschoolers' Forum (GHF)? You may wish to check especially the Homeschooling tab and the Favorite Things tab. GHF offers a great roundup of homeschool resources.

Many families also enjoy Rainbow Resource, DK books, Every Good Book, Resources list on the Davidson Database (DITD), Hoagies' Kids, Mensa for Kids, Library of Congress (LOC) resource lists, free printable worksheets from Crayola, and enchanted learning, to name a few of the many resources available.

As others have mentioned, the resources you choose will depend upon your child's interests and how advanced he is. This may be a great time to let your son lead, and explore many things.

Have you looked at Montessori at home materials? Our oldest was in a Montessori program at that age and the method worked very well for him. YMMV.

On the question of how to teach him... maybe the answer is closer to home. Have you asked your DH? He did supply half of your DS' genetic material, after all.

My DW has homeschooled our DD9 quite effectively, but when she runs into challenges, I've been the one to solve them, because DD's learning style is so much like mine that I've frequently joked, "I have the user's manual to DD's brain."

DD says, "That's creepy."

Apart from solving individual challenges, I've also been able to give DW some general guidelines on what approaches work best.

She's definitely a visual learner, and when she was 3, she sat in my lap at the computer desk as I pulled up relevant images for whatever topic she had expressed an interest in, and talked her through what we were seeing.

Yes. We did some Montessori-at-home, then transitioned to a modified (okay-- heavily modified) Charlotte-Mason method (if not curricular goals) which meshed very well with the age-appropriate motor skills that my preschooler possessed.

That smoothly transitioned to more academic types of educational materials and curriculum as DD got to about five years of age. Until then, we didn't push/emphasize writing at all. You do have to be reasonably comfortable with the idea of asynchronous development of academic skills, though.

My 4yo couldn't cut out shapes, or color detailed pictures, but she could (and did) read chapter books, and work symbolic math problems, and could give an ORAL book report worthy of a child twice her age.

That asynchronous web didn't start to coalesce into something that looked more even until late into secondary education, by the way-- so you'll need to accept that you may be signing up for long-term scaffolding of age-appropriate/weaker skills if you support learning at the child's proximal zone of development/readiness in the strengths.

Welcome, and good luck!

Can you explain in more detail what "topics he wishes to learn at home". I might be able to give better suggestions if I knew what he is craving to learn.

At 3 I mostly helped my son by providing lots of books, and non-fiction videos when relevant. (My son's passion at that age was animals.) Taking him to museums, zoo's and other such places out in the world. Giving my son open ended toys like boxes of legos (without the directions) for him to create. And mostly not assuming that material was too hard for him, although I did keep an eye out for adult content.

Welcome! At that age, my DC attended a few hours of pre-K a week for socialization, and we read many, many books at home. We also explored topics that were of particular interest to them, visiting various museums, planetariums, and zoos. We also spent a great deal of time at the library. When we could find them, we signed up for "special interest classes," although these can be challenging to find at that age.

Does you son have special interests or talents that you could start/build on - chess, art, etc.? Is he interested in learning to read or is he already reading (I wouldn't push it if he's not interested, but if he is, it is a GREAT way to start to explore various topics)?

Welcome, glad you found these forums. I, too, have a 3 year old who insists he's five to attend school. But so sadly, what school is in his mind is not what it will be when he gets there in 2 years.
Our daily life basically runs like this: usually bright and early he wants to read, write, do math or art. I have boxes and a cabinet full of materials. I have friends who give me workbooks from schools or I find them as cheap as I can. He changes topics/skills/interests so often, I don't know what to invest in most of the time, either he learns a skill in a day or he skips it, or he is no longer interested.

I used to have a visual schedule of his day, which helped his emotional regulation, therefore, behavior. It went something like this, Get Ready, Breakfast, Homeschool, Outside Play, Snack, etc. Then he knew there was a designated time for homeschool and he didn't have to beg me all morning to start.

He knows what materials we have so now he just asks me to get him whatever he's into that day. I roll with it. I do have it put away and organized, otherwise it takes over the house.

However, I am helping him write. He spent two months writing on his own, about 5 hours a day, practicing inventive spelling and writing story books. I now sit with him and help him. I know we are looking at a future grade skip so I try to help him with skills I know he will struggle with some so that when he is grade skipped, it will be an easy transition.

We do watch videos of topics he's into, he attends preschool two days a week for 3 hours, story time at the library, tons of park time, backyard time. He requires a lot of attention, always discussing experiments, inventions, ideas.

I can assure you that you I am not enough for him, I'll never be. A school plus us won't be enough. I have dishes, errands, another child, myself, my husband-a whole life to attend to, and he needs interaction/stimulation 18 hours a day. He's old enough that I discuss with him how he will need to learn to be alone sometimes because I have things to do. There have literally been moments where he screaming at me to show him how to spell X or do a math problem while I am doing the dishes. When he needs an acadmice fix, he's in full anxiety mode, as if life depends on knowing this thing.

I hope you find comfort in knowing there are many people on these forums who are here to listen.