Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional What to expect with ADD?

Arr. Lost a post. Shorter version: we have one much like this, who has since developed (with our help) effective cognitive and behavioral strategies, such that, while checklists still come out high, there is no disruption to major life functions, which is what distinguishes merely an interesting profile from pathology.

Meds are good for some kids, but not essential for all.

That's really what we're looking for. What did you guys do that worked?

newmom21C, I personally have the problem of leaving to go get a tissue and forgetting what it was I was doing by the time I get there. There was an article that got a lot of press a year or two ago for showing that walking through a door was a trigger for losing your train of thought. Since I read that article, if I leave to go do something in another room, I try to be consciously thinking of what I am going to do as I walk through the door. I have no idea if this is just a placebo effect, but it does seem like I forget less by using this strategy. You might want to share it with your DD, and show her the article if you can find it.

For me it's the stairs...our house has a LOT of stairs, and as soon as I am on a different floor - poof...
Then when I am back on the floor I started out from, I may remember...

We started from a philosophical point of view that is strength/asset-based. The ADHD-type traits of a child are only pathological (disordered) when they are not properly managed, or are in a poor fit with the environment. Our objective was not to eliminate or pathologize attributes of our child, or re-name them as character defects, but to restore autonomy, so that our child would be able to employ and appreciate those qualities as a choice, instead of being ruled by them.

Self-determination has been a major theme of ours, with all of our children, which includes self-management, responsibility, understanding and valuing oneself. Because this is a theme that is constant in our house, no one is singled out; each person (adults included) has a different set of challenges and resources. One person is impulsive and highly active: that individual is working on managing physical and verbal activity in such a way that one demonstrates respect for other persons’ physical and sound space, and their self-determination. Another is passionate and emotionally intense: this one is developing cognitive restraints for emotional lability, so as not to be incapacitated by emotional flooding, and also to avoid imposing overflow on unsuspecting bystanders.

Practically speaking, we started from heavily scaffolding behavioral and organizational expectations, designing for a high likelihood of success, and then faded supports gradually from one end or the other of the behavioral sequence as our child became more skilled. We treat every incident instructionally (unless there is clear evidence of a volitional element, in which case we try to separate the chosen from the unchosen behaviors and engage in a different kind of instruction—not always successfully, but at least we make it clear to the child that we are not trying to punish them for something that they didn’t do intentionally).

We use external supports to make internal executive functions visible. For example, using a timer to help define time-on-task/sustained attention. Discussing what it feels like when one is focused. Exploring the kind of internal and external cues that help one to remember tasks. Visual cues for transitions, task lists, and schedules. Constant, frequent, specific reinforcement and shaping of self-management behaviors. Leaving lots of time for multistep tasks and transitions (such as leaving the house for anything), so that we have the time to verbalize planning and organization strategies, and to allow supported attempts at implementing them. Collaboration with the child to problem-solve through difficult-to-change behaviors. Much repetition and patience!

I thought I was an exceptionally patient and gentle person before I had children; I learned that I still have a long way to go before I am the person I would like to be! (And I express this to my children, especially on the days when I am unable to live up to my own principles.) Be patient and gentle with yourself as well.

I guess this is more of a perspective or a guiding principle than a specific technique.

We are already seeing a difference doing edublox/audiblox.

http://www.edublox.com/

Thank you for taking the time to post this, I found it helpful!

Thanks for that! We were thinking about using a timer for some activities and it's good to hear that might help. I'll see if we can make some adjustments to our current routine. Right now homework has been a nightmare because even those she understands the materials it takes her forever to complete it because she's so easily distracted. She's also a serious perfectionist so that plays a lot into the time things take too.

JMO, but I think that I'd focus on "getting her evaluated" rather than "getting her evaluated for ADD". You've noticed that many of the things you've observed in her behaviors fit both ADD and SPD checklists, but you might not have noticed - they may very well fit into other lists.


This sounds like several of the children I've known you have ADHD. It also sounds *exactly* like my older dd at your dd's age… before we realized she some fairly severe vision challenges.

The thing that I think is key is to recognize that as a parent, you suspect something's up, but you're not going to get to the root of what's really going on just researching on your own. You need to have a professional observe your dd, interview you, go through her developmental history etc.


I'd ask her teacher about challenges she's having in the classroom, what the teacher is able to do (and what doesn't work) to redirect her etc. BUT - and this is important - remember that the teacher isn't a medical or psych professional. If the teacher tells you she thinks your dd has ADD, that's the teachers *opinion*. We've been in this situation with our 2e ds and a teacher (teacher was convinced he had ADHD), and also our dd who had the vision issue had a pediatrician who was convinced she had ADHD because she bounced off the walls every time she was in a dr's office. People who aren't trained to evaluate are only going to see what they have experienced seeing. Just as parents are only going to research the things they know about or read about. What you need is an unbiased global look at the whole child, developmental history etc. by a professional who is familiar with a wide range of possibilities.

polarbear

Round of applause for polar bear!

AEH thank you for what you shared. I was so muh better at parenting a full on child hen there was only one full on child :-)