Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Need Advice on Almost 3 Year Old

I just recently found this forum and I'm so glad I did.

My daughter will turn 3 in a few weeks, and we're pretty confident she's gifted. Not going to go through a long list here, but she memorized a map of the United States for fun, prefers to have us read her 100+ page books, and corrected my husband about which phase of the moon we could see in the night sky.

I need advice because my daughter will choose whether or not to demonstrate her abilities. She will get answers wrong on purpose or simply not answer if she doesn't feel like it. We're pretty sure she can read, but we can't tell for sure because if we ask her to read something, she'll refuse.

Okay, so she's quirky and has her own timetable for doing stuff -- we've accepted that with potty training and some other "typical" kid behaviors. What's starting to worry me is how that might affect schooling options for Kindergarten and beyond. She's already doing kindergarten work now, so clearly a normal K class isn't going to work for her. We have some private schools in our area that might be a better fit, but they'll want to test her before they accept her.

Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? She tends to become a discipline issue when she's bored, so just letting her go into a regular K class could have negative consequences.... Thanks for any advice/support you can offer!

Bump!

My son will be 3 this fall and is similarly a concern in terms of fit for kindergarten. I've read through our province's curricula for kindergarten and grade 1, and he has been able to meet all the milestones for the last year. I shudder when I imagine him in an age-linked class.

DH and I are interested in the possibility of my homeschooling DS for kindergarten. I'm working to launch a private gifted magnet in our area to accommodate DS for first grade, when he turns 6, which will put off testing until he's 5.

As for encouraging compliance in a test-setting, I have no answers. Do you know which tests your schools provide? The format of the test might guide your strategy.

Welcome! My daughter is 2 1/2 and one minute she acts like a terrible two, and the next she will say something that is so appropriate and intelligent that I swear she acts like a little adult. She also will often not answer a question that she does not feel like answering.

The way I see it is that she is in fact a two year old that sees world extremely clearly, but has not been seeing it for very long.

I suspect that mine might be able to read more than the few words that I know that she knows, but because she has such a good memory for memorizing stories that she has had read to her before ... who knows. I know that she can't completely read fluently because there have been times where she is trying to read a novel book with words that I know that she knows (She definitely knows the words: "Jake", "and" ,"the", "Neverland", "Pirates", "me", and a few other words) and then gets stumped on a word (one of the common English words.) But where her reading level is I have no idea for the same reason that you had mentioned.

We have had her in daycare since she was 3 months old. She is very natural around her age mates. I am keeping a very close eye on her in case problems arise. I suspect I will just need to keep a close eye on her, talk to her a lot, and try to gain insight from folks on this forum. I do wonder what she will do when they start teaching in a more structured manner.

Hi! We are in the same boat. Our DS is 3.5. He is reading at a first grade level and is in the mid 1st grade level for math. When I imagine him sitting in a K class, my stomach turns.

I'm a former teacher, now stay at home. I plan to start him off at our local elementary school. But I am unsure if early entrance is a good idea or even an option. I am exhausted. His needs are high, his emotions are big. We also have a 1 y.o. The thought of homeschooling is unfathomable for me. But I know it's something that might be the best choice in the future.

Don't worry about how her intelligence is fluid, it's normal for all people and with gifted kids, I think sometimes they need relax from their own minds going a million miles an hour.

My advice to you is to take comfort in these forums, read any information you can and try your best to not let the anxiety of it all take over. This Kindergarten anticipation is killing me and has been for the past year. I manage it by talking to my husband, reading on the topic of giftedness and checking in on these forums. It's easy to feel alone on this journey, but there are many nice people on here going through the same life.

I'm not sure if our DD's case would put you at ease or would make you worried but when she was 3, I was convinced that homeschooling was the only option. She was very academically driven and all she wanted to do was learn more and more and more. I assumed as she got older, her needs would only increase. Her father who was similar to her growing up kept on saying, "Wait and see. She's not always going to be this little child who wants to study. She's going to grow up and have other priorities."

Well, what a difference a year makes. She is 4.2 now and while she still loves books (especially nonfiction and comic books) and comes up with crazy math ideas, her priority is to play with age-peers. She doesn't even really like being with older children anymore. She wants to go to school full-time and is horrified by the idea of being homeschooled. She tells me to go to work so she can go to school.

She has been honing her reading skills since age 2 (she could read when she started talking) and math seems to be her natural first language so a typical elementary school isn't going to be a great fit. We are looking into a private GT school that does almost no teaching until middle school. I have serious reservations about this school and I'm not sure if DD is what they are looking for but if she gets in and we can afford it, I think she'll have fun. She might not learn much but she won't be bored out of her mind for 6 years. I can live with that, I think.

I think the quirkiness and the reluctance to "perform" on cue are both very age appropriate and very typical for little fifties. I would not ask her to read or show what she knows at this point, just let her learn and grow confident in her abilities. If you don't make a big deal out of stuff she can do, just show her you enjoy conversing about the moon phases with her as if it were the most natural thing in the world (and try to shield her from people who will either gush or be put off) she may grow into her abilities so that she'll enjoy testing even, because it is fun and challenging and she can have interesting conversations with the tester. Remember, she's very young!
I'd try to find out how far exactly testing dates for the schools you have in mind are into the future (with the option of early entrance, which I recommend) and then take a deep breath and let her grow.

We have a similar situation in our house. I have a DS8 (PG) and DD4 (some kind of G). With DS8, before he was in school, I didn't think one minute about giftedness. He seemed ahead, but I just wanted him to play and enjoy all the wonderful things about being a little kid, so didn't think at all about what would happen when he got to K. K was fine, 1st grade a disaster (when we discovered that he was PG). Honestly, I am very glad that I didn't stress for 1 minute over what school was going to be like for him. I was blissfully unaware. I think it was the best thing for him (and all of us).

DD4 seems even farther ahead than DS was at the same age. To me, she is clearly at least HG, is not nearly as smooth socially as her brother and is not typically girly. At this point, she is clearly a huge misfit for any school situation (except her current preschool, which is a divine gift among preschools - they accept her lovingly as she is and they encourage her to learn what she wants and play as she wants). But I am not stressing for 1 minute about K for her. She deserves and needs the same preschool experience as her brother (she goes very few hours and spends plenty of time at home playing and creating).

She does what apparently a lot of other gifted kids do - she pretends that she doesn't know things. She's been asking me to teach her how to read and so we've being doing bits here and there. I ask her to read some words back to me, she tells me that she can't read at all. She even fake sounds out the words incorrectly. While visiting another friend, she read a book to her. The dad says to me, "Wow she reads so well." She's never read for me. It's all a delightful game to her. I'm playing along. It will all unfold in time.

The cynical part of me tells myself, "the sh-t will hit the fan anyway when she gets to K, why stress about it now." There are no private or public programs that will likely meet her needs. I can homeschool her too, if that's what she needs.

Thanks so much, everyone, for the advice and support. It's comforting to know that other gifted kids do the same things -- sometimes I thought I was going crazy because I knew I had seen her do something and suddenly she "couldn't" do it.

The public schools in our area are not an option -- weren't an option even before we realized she was gifted. There is a nearby school solely for gifted kids, K-8, that looks amazing. Insanely expensive, of course, and requires testing for entrance. That's what got me thinking about it -- otherwise I wouldn't worry about testing at this age.

We don't push her on anything academic right now, but are working hard to keep her intellectually stimulated at home. She is a real discipline problem when she's bored, and the only preschool around here that seems like it could stimulate her is a Montessori that wants kids potty trained. She refuses to potty train (though she's clearly capable of it) and we aren't interested in making that a battle. So for now, it's basically homeschooled preschool.

I am considering the possibility that she would need homeschooling for a longer period of time, but my husband really wants her in a school environment for the socialization. Also, homeschooling would be challenging since we both work full-time (although I am an independent consultant, so I could adjust my hours somewhat).

Anyway, it's so great to have other people to talk to who "get" it. I'm worn out by conversations with other friends who look at me like I'm crazy when I try to explain why the methods they use with their kids just don't work with mine.... Thank you!