Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Letter to teacher

DD7 enters 2nd grade in two weeks. She attends a charter with a gifted standards focus, where we homeschool every Friday and extra days to add up to about 25% of instructional days. The past two years she's had long term subs coming and going due to teacher maternity leave. And both years we've ended up finally requesting a meeting and hearing new info about math instruction and how she was doing, in the spring. We are adamant that we not let things drag out any longer. But we don't want to jump on the second grade teacher before she gets her own crack at things! DH is incredibly frustrated with the school not doing more to really know DD and challenge her. But he gets most of his knowledge of the school filtered through me. I'm starting to worry DD is not meeting her potential (she read Shakespeare for kicks last summer. DH insists she's a "genius" and I'm probably just too close to her to see what's normal or not. Anyway!) DD clearly is gifted verbally and she's been patiently waiting while everyone learns to read, and doesn't really complain but jumped at the Emily Dickinson I left strewn out after she mentioned the poems on offer at school are silly/babyish. And I do find it odd (but not surprising) that no one from school has ever talked to us about DD's abilities or how we could adapt stuff for her, unless we started the conversation. The one thing last year's teacher noted was DD needing to work on not freaking out but calming herself, finding a solution, etc (DD would need to do this very occasionally at school, when rushed, etc, and did improve.) Again, this is a school with a focus on differentiation, the gifted icons of Sandra Kaplan, etc. The staff just attended a gifted conference this month so hopefully they'll be receptive!

So DH insists we hit the ground running this year. We want to have a meeting where we just establish that we want to communicate more. We want to know what assessments are happening (and what they mean, what we should do if DD misses zero questions, as apparently was happening last year, so we never got personalized math communication like others it turns out), what math instruction is going on, and how we can get her help adapting work for DD. I'm done making DD do the easy work and then trying to convince her to tackle more, which she's asking for, but cuts into precious time to play. But I can't adapt what I don't really understand, and I still keep finding out key info about instruction it seems. DD is also much more receptive lately to learning suggestions from anyone besides me. Or at least with me, she unloads her anxiety (like not wanting to write stories for fun anymore because they don't turn out like how she imagines, but all babyish. Ya know, rather than like the prose of Dahl or Rowling!) I'm hoping the teacher will actually make DD reach a bit, inspire her with a few new ideas!

Long story short (too late!) here's my draft:

Dear Mrs. Second grade teacher,
We are so excited that DD is going to be in your class this year! We are really looking forward to working with you, and hope to communicate about what we can work on with DD, and how we can all help challenge and inspire her this year. We're very interested in meeting sometime before too long to discuss learning goals. We have felt a little lost (first child going through school, lots of long term subs, and hey I'm still learning how math is taught these days!) and we really want DD to have a great year. Thank you so much ahead of time for all that you do!
Best Regards,
Us

DH says it's way too vague and kind. I'm hoping to be clear but positive. It's a small school and the teacher works closely with the other grade level teachers. I don't want to go in ragging on what went down. Anything jump out at you?

Psyching myself up to type in the email address and hit send before the weekend!

Well, you can't be too kind in a first letter (nothing has gone wrong yet, after all), but it is a bit vague.

I would slip in some casual mention of what DD is interested in, in the interest of acquainting the new teacher with your child.

"DD would love to share her favorite Dickinson poem with the class if you can help her find an appropriate time for it. She gets frustrated with writing sometimes, because her expression hasn't caught up with her ambition yet -- for instance, she struggled with a story about (her favorite characters) from A Midsummer Night's Dream and hasn't finished it yet; perhaps you will have some advice that will help her. She's very happy to work on new things in math, and we look forward to hearing from you about what comes next for her and how we can help to keep her excited and moving forward."

Thanks! I can really use these ideas. The good thing about common core is that they've started reciting poetry on a weekly basis in first grade--perhaps I'll ask if they continue in second.

My aim is to assume all will be well, but be more proactive.

I empathize with your desire to improve the school year for your daughter. I too often feel pangs of impatience myself at the beginning of the school year but I'd second the point that you need to have some concrete goals that are achievable to make the letter worthwhile. If you just want to meet the teacher and get the relationship going then I'd try to have a casual conversation at the school perhaps during pickup/drop off as a starting point instead.

Also, its a lot of work getting a classroom going and understanding 20+ odd new students so you have to allow some time for that process to occur before you're likely to get much traction on something new you're springing on them. If you do continue with a letter I'd add a nod to that like "I know that the beginning of school is an extremely busy time for teachers but ..." Do you have a curriculum night/open house at your school early on? That's about the time I'd spring to action and in the meantime I'd provide opportunities at home to fill the gap.

Agreed. Some schools may ask for 6 weeks or so to become familiar with students prior to meeting with parents.

...or "I know that the beginning of school is an extremely busy time for teachers and I'm willing to assist with..."

Some may say that Ben's letter is more kind as it communicates empathy or perspective-taking for the teacher's likely viewpoint. Meanwhile the original letter may be seen by some as enthusiastic (generally a positive) or emotional (often a negative).

I wanted to say thanks, I convinced DH to hold off two weeks til BTSN. He's still really wanting to communicate more (I'm going to start off with asking if second grade does curriculum chats, which we were supposed to get last year to teach parents about instruction in key areas, but they never got to thanks to the sub). He's starting to get than any approach this early would come across wrong, even if he really just wants to open one on one communication.

As a teacher, I would be a bit put off to receive that letter before any introduction or experience with the child. Please keep in mind that to go in defensive or aggressive with someone you have never met, makes for a rocky start to a constructive relationship.

As the parent of a gifted child who is in a gifted program, the most beneficial thing I have found is to provide teachers some keys to my child at the beginning of school. It is challenging to get to know 20-30 children and what makes them tick. Some children don't share much at all so it is helpful when we can provide this and teachers can draw from it. I prefer not to focus on telling a teacher what not to do or what other teachers have done wrong. I'd rather give them some keys to my child. I try to be realistic and communicate strengths and weaknesses and also do so with a sense of humor.

I try to let the school focus on going deep on the standards with a gifted focus and we supplement at home based on individual interest. Back to school night is a good night to ask the math questions as well. Ask if there are any programs such as Moby Max that sync with classroom work and that you should have your child work on at home. Also ask how homework/classwork is communicated. Once she gets to know your child, I would talk about differentiation in reading/writing assignments. She should be able to incorporate her reading/writing up several levels within whatever structure she's working with.