Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Going Crazy in Indiana

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum, but I'm SO glad I have found it. I have been looking for some kind of support and conversation with other parents of gifted children. Here is some quick background on me.

I have two DD's, 2.5 and 8 weeks, and I live in Indiana with my DH. My DH and I suspect my DD2.5 is gifted, but it's been hard to talk about this with friends or family. She learned her letters (upper and lower case), colors, shapes, counting to 20 and letter sounds before 2. In the bathtub, she'd pick up the letter "P" and say, "P," then turn it to make a lower case "d" and "b", naming those letters respectively. She does other things that I feel are unusual for a 2.5yo, but I'll save that for another day. . .

The reason I'm going crazy is because my husband and I have virtually no support system about our concerns about how to handle school, socialization or simple behavior issues with our DD. After doing some research, my DH and I figured out we were both GT, too, but did not get the opportunities or recognition from our parents to fully excel. In fact, when we first mentioned to our parents about our DD's abilities, they said, "Well, I hope she's not so smart that she's weird."

Then there are the behavior issues -- she has the intellect of a 4 or 5yo but the emotional responses of a 2.5yo (I believe they call that asynchronous development). And of course, she's sensitive on top of that.

Has anybody else felt this frustrated or alone when it comes to talking about this to others?

We have a hard time keeping our DD engaged with activities. She has a long attention span when it comes to something she's intent on learning or mastering, but other than that, she hardly plays with regular toys. Is this normal?

Okay, this post is entirely too long and I've rambled in a very unorganized fashion. I promise my future posts will be more direct and succinct -- I just feel so overwhelmed and confused about all of this.
Any comments or suggestions would be great. Even just a "I've been there before!" would help.

Thanks for listening!!!

You are definitely not alone. Here's my "been there" story. I think it was just before my DS was 3 that I started worrying about things such as future education issues, because he seemed to know the entire kindergarten curriculum (he's now 4.5).

I am sorry you have no support system near you, yet. But I found that a lot of the friends I made in my town (we've been here 5 years), turned out to be GT and with GT kids. (I think you find friends who are like you.) But this board is by far the most helpful in venting all things gifted. Before I found this forum, I felt quite stifled. Even DH didn't quite get that our son was different until after he agreed to have him tested to see if he qualified for early kindergarten. It is sad that your parents seem to have negative attitudes toward giftedness. Perhaps they will change with a bit more education.

I have felt very free to discuss many concerns here that I didn't want to bring up elsewhere because either people wouldn't believe me or they would think I was bragging.

As for activities - I find having a gifted child rather exhausting at times. Especially up to age 3. Your DD sounds similar to how my DS was - long attention span, and yet, if not interested in something, will not give it the time of day. We finally found that computers and legos were lifesavers for getting DS to do something on his own for awhile. (The computer thing came back to bite us, though, because he's a little bit obsessed at the moment.) As you will likely hear from others, just continue following your child's leads as to interests, and expose her to many different types of activities. Most kids love outings to parks and zoos and museums.

The other thing about "regular" toys - maybe the toys you have are too young for her. Try some toys for older kids that you think your DD may be interested in.

I'm rambling now. Welcome to the board. Your daughter sounds delightful.

I've just found this forum too, and my 2 cents' worth is that isolation is one of the most stressful parts of raising a child who does not fit into the conventional pigeonholes.

Talking to others is important. Reading is important - and the Davidson site has some excellent resources in this regard. If you are just starting, I'd suggest the six articles by Julia Osborn (just do a search on the site) as an excellent starting point. The more you read, the less isolated you'll feel. But ... it's a big research job.

My only other personal suggestions would be to listen closely to your child, and trust your heart and instincts.

Welcome to the board!

Welcome! And please, feel free to talk all you need to here. Brag, complain, worry, plan, ask for help...whatever you need. We all know EXACTLY how you feel!

BTDT! (Been there, done that!)

P.S. I just sent you a private message.

Welcome to the board. Good for you figuring out things so soon. It took me at least a year longer till I finally realized that DS5 could be gifted. Doh.

Follow your child lead is one of the best advices. As for preschool and such, find a place where she would be happy. Forget about academics at school, the less the better. She can get all the academics at home. That worked great for DS5. We tried it the other way around for DS4 and his last year in Montessori turned out to be a bad choice.

I bet she likes toys for older kids and 2-3 year old toys don't really do it. I was concerned when DS5 at this age didn't care too much about certain toys and other kids. One of his favorite "toys" was a computer where he typed words he had memorized and copied others from books. Not really a typical 2 year old pastime Looking at him now my worries were laughable.

...and I think you were WAAAAAAAY ahead of the curve, LMom!

I knew DS7 was GT from pretty early on, but my concept of how GT was way off. It was when he hit first grade that we realized that he wasn't the MG kid who would succeed easily at school with little-to-no accomodation, as we had thought him to be. Surprise!

Knowing at 2.5--or even 4.5!--that he was unusual would have cut way back on the grade school shock factor.

(And thank goodness for all my random and strange online buddies! Sooooooo much help here!)

Oh, don't worry I didn't realize how gifted he was when he was 3. Only last September after 7 days in Montessori when I was told that they never had a child like him I started thinking HG. The test results from last December were a real eye opener. Shows how little I knew when he was 3.

I think it goes in stages. First you realize your child is gifted, then you move onto little bit more gifted than your average gt child, then HG ... I am almost over the "They will kick him out of Davidson once they realize he doesn't belong there."

Now I can concentrate on DS4. My logic is completely screwed up by DS5. Who cares that DS4 is reading 2nd-3rd books. His math is nowhere close to his brother's abilities. Therefore he cannot be more than MG.

LOL! Nah, I met him. He's totally safe!



DH keeps saying things to me about DS4 (in private, of course) like "There's something wrong with him. He's so slow!"

I probably tell him as much as a couple of times a month that DS4 is NOT slow, but instead DH's yardstick (namely HG+ child DS7) is just really screwy. I don't think we have any clue yet what's up with DS4.

In particular, DS4's writing before he's reading is still messing with my head...If he would just read already, I'd feel like I'd have a better sense about whether he has LD issues or not. But as verbal and imaginative as he is, still no reading!

I know, I know. Patience. All in their own time and they're all different and yatta-yatta... *sigh* But it's so nerve-wracking! Not knowing anything drives me mad! If he's having trouble, I want to get him help sooner rather than later. If he's ND, I'd like to know that so I can quit worrying about LDs.

*double sigh*