Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion could lack of "screen time" be a bad thing?

hello,
As I find my family slightly unusual as far as how little time our kiddos get computer/ipad/phone/tv time, I wanted to ask you folks what your thoughts and experiences are. I hope while asking you this, I do not offend anyone as is not my intention to do so and I do not feel that what we are doing is the better way (actually starting to have self doubts) but as I do not really have anyone to discuss this with, I would love to hear your thoughts.

In our household, we do not have cable and what we watch primarily if we, the parents do at all, are programs such as PBS masterpiece, documentaries and movies on Netflix if time allows for that on the weekends. I do spend too much time on the computer however. The kids get very little time in front of the TV as they are usually busy with school and extra curricular activities. My DS8 has never been too interested in TV (unless it is something like how it's made or mythbusters and he has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. After much reading and research on giftedness, I am starting to question this disagnosis, but I digress. He loves games such as Minecraft however, but I do limit this to once a week for about an hour.
My DD6 (recently tested as HG+) LOVES tv. Anything and everything on TV will attract her rapt attention. If she hears a youtube video teaching a recipe, for example, she will come running without fail - well, unless she is reading. It happens in restaurants, waiting lobbies, etc. We often have to strategically seat her so that she is not facing these screens when we eat out so she will get something in her mouth. But that often fails as she manages to contort her body in the strangest position so she can get her screen fix.

Because my husband was diagnosed with ADD (which happened after we got together due to me asking him to pursue this avenue..I mean why else could a highly intelligent person be so disorganized, constantly be late, have trouble with rote memorization at school - this was before I really knew what gifted could mean and so I also wonder if this was a correct diagnosis) I have been determined not to let the kiddos, in particular DD, have to much TV time as I have read that this can contribute to children developing ADHD. Both kids have an incredible amount of energy and they cannot sit still. DS is always fidgeting and DD, well I wonder how she can move and talk ALL DAY the way she does.

The biggest reason for the lack of screen time in our house however is due to an experience I encountered a few years ago, when my DD was about 2.5 years old. Up to then, the kids had leapfrogs games and they would play an odd hour here or there. I was at a playground with her and I saw a mother approach with her young child in a stroller; I would say she was approximately 7 to 8 months old. I was immediately attracted to them because the baby was holding her phone and was intently watching a music video which I could hear coming from it. The mother promptly took her out of the stroller, and proceeded to plunk her down into a swing. I was so fascinated by the interaction between the two because whilst the mother was pushing her on the swing, the baby was so intently engrossed with the phone that she not once looked up at her and indicated her pleasure of being pushed. Up to this point, I had never seen a child with a lack of response on the swing and it kind of unnerved me, simply put.
After that day, I started to notice just how many kids are disconnected with their families, in particular their parents because of their engagement with phones, etc. I almost always see kids on phones in restaurants, while waiting for their food, or even playing with them when they should be eating. I see ipads snuggled in "child friendly" cases with stands, placed right in front so that parents can eat in peace. I often find for us, that these moments are prime for having interesting in-depth discussions with our kids and we also like to play words games such as come up with a new word from the last letter that the previous person has said, etc. I noticed how most if not all kids in my kids Taekwondo class are immediately on their phones whilst waiting for a sibling to finish their lessons. I sometimes see kids reading or doing their homework but those kids tend not to ever have phones on. One of my best friends has a DS that is constantly watching TV or playing with the phone. When they came over a sleepover last year (they live about 3 hours away), her DS cried and asked why he couldn't have the his phone to watch videos before falling asleep like he usually does. My son was quietly watching and observing this. I have never said anything to her but she tells me how he doesn't like to read and is really behind in reading at school, and that makes me want to tell her to shut the things off, but I feel I do not want her to think I am judging her parenting style.

My kids are both advanced readers, and I am not sure if it is a result of the lack of screen time in our home. However, getting to the main point of this post, I am starting to wonder if I am excessively withholding "technology" from their lives. We just moved to an fairly affluent neighborhood from the SF bay area and many of kids have their own devices at home or school. Most kids I see in my DS classroom are pretty saavy on the computer and I can see how far he is behind on navigating on the computer, typing up reports, etc. I also started letting my DD have a litte time on the ipad everyday so she can explore brainpopjr. I still discourage them from going on the computer the local library in order to play games, and I can see they think it's totally unfair when so many kids are on them.

We are thinking of getting a laptop for them soon, and due to common core, teachers are expecting a certain mastery on the computers these days. My question is how much is too much? Did I inadvertently hold them back by preventing them time for self discovery on topics of interest on the web? I guess I am concerned that once I allow more computer time, they are not going to want to read as much. Would love to hear any of your thoughts on this. Sorry this post is so long!

Screen time is a big issue for me too. IMO, it simply can't be a good thing that some children are growing up not knowing how to entertain themselves, without a screen, for little stretches of time. Also, what I have noticed, is that my kids come up with some of the most creative ideas and projects when they are "bored" without any devices.

In our house, we teach moderation. So that means 1 hour a day of screen time. You get to choose how you use it: TV show, Minecraft, youtube, games (with adult supervision of course). We also teach moderation of other things. You get to have soda once a week and ice cream once a week too (not on the same day though!). Of course there are some times when exceptions are made, ex. during illness (lots more screen time) or birthday parties (ice cream and soda in the same day).

My kids will absolutely NOT be getting their own devices until they can pay for them. I expect around 12-13 they will be motivated enough to pay for a device.

As far as not reading as much if they get computer time - my son does his 1 hour on the computer and then proceeds to read 4-5 hours straight on the weekends. Doesn't seem to be making a dent in reading.

And no, I don't think you have held your children back by not allowing them screen time. I always explain to my children that every family is different. My son has a friend who has to bathe every day. This is one of the most horrible things that my DS7 can imagine being inflicted on him, at this point. This same friend can seemingly play unlimited video games. But it's the bathing once a day that sticks out to my son. My son is happy to be in our family, where you only get 1 hour of screen time, but you are not forced to bathe every single day. Different family, different rules.

I do believe that electronic usage can be both abused and neglected, with significant negative consequences for both, and achieving moderation is key. Being overly restrictive can sometimes backfire, too... forbidden fruit.

I generally do not police my DD's usage because she self-regulates well. She's very outgoing and active, and those forces pull her away from the electronics after more than an hour. She sometimes has friends over who want to watch TV or play Minecraft all day, and after a while she loses her patience with them and drives them outside. Naturally, we monitor this balance, we commend her when she's doing well, and we send her off to do something active on the occasions where she gets out of whack.

Each parent has to regulate it as appropriate for their own child's nature.

First of all, using a computer is part of nearly every job nowadays. It is how we communicate and how we express our thoughts. While mediums such as watercolor and calligraphy are beautiful, the practical norm--the fountain pen and manila paper of the 21st century so to speak, or the typewriter and post office--is a net-connected computer.

For this reason both of my children learn appropriate skills.

That said we also have no screen time, other than typing school projects, on school days, and it's limited on weekends.

But they both know how to use a menu, a mouse, a touch pad, how to save a document and retrieve it, how to make a capital letter, and so on. That's important. Those are life skills now.



Lots of people are like that. To me ADD is when you cannot function in life--when you cannot compensate for your procrastination with other tools, when you cannot have a relationship, etc. It's a disorder because it prevents you from functioning, not to your "full potential" (whatever that means) but from making progress towards normal life goals, such as passing 7th grade. That might have been your husband. For me, I was everything you describe, and the main consequence were slightly lower grades than my SAT scores predicted, and lots of late nights due to procrastination.

Imperfection is not a disorder. That's just life. Nobody's good at everything.

I have trouble understanding how a highly intelligent person could allow their brain to be limited by rote, disconnected material without deep semantical contexts, or shackled to a schedule that requires consistency and constrains spontanaeity, or numb their creativity by living in a dead space with things hidden and organized. It baffles me, but I know there are people like this. Maybe it's OCD?

As to electronics, we have full on buffet with no limits. I so rarely see any studies that actually are design to included gifted and especially highly gifted as a part of their design in evaluating potential impacts of anything on kid's development. If they don't, I take their results with a grain of salt.

If schools have a technology class, I don't imagine any harm in limiting electronics outside of school.

Just to tick off some benefits to technology access:

- Technological awareness - bridges the "digital divide"
- Excellent learning tool, particularly for visual learners
- Social grease - provides children with opportunities for shared experiences/interests to foster relationships
- Computer games are linked to development of advanced, creative problem-solving skills

So, just as excessive access to electronics can crowd out important things such as social interaction, imaginative play, and exercise, excessive regulation of electronics can crowd out some of the benefits indicated above.

Likewise, I'd be genuinely worried if my DD was reading for 4 hours a night, because that's time that she's not getting exercise, interacting, etc.

I know we all as a family have way too much screen time but that's simply who we are. Our TV is always on except for when we're doing school work (homeschool) or when we're reading. We would enforce stricter rules if the boys really didn't want to do anything else but they are both really good about dropping the screen and playing with toys or doing something creative. And I LOVE having iPad for homeschooling. We have Kindle fire and Nook for fun and iPad for learning. Our kids don't have the patients to learn from people, including me, but they instantly absorb information that comes to them from the screen. I was the same when I was a child. I couldn't stand people trying to explain things to me. I had to figure everything out on my own. And all this technology gives them a chance to do just that and beyond.
That said, we do have friends whose kids will just sit in front of the TV or computer and get this blank stare on their face and they are in trans. They don't seem to be learning anything, they are just there to watch. If that was the case with our boys, we'd just turn the screens off. At that point I'd find it useless and even harmful.

I'm reluctant to limit screen time because screened devices now occupy several of my formerly non-screen activities, like reading the news, correspondence, banking, and research. Where DS is active in engaging with technology, like reading, solving puzzles with me, or discussing interesting videos, I see screen time and non-screen time as effectively interchangeable.

DS2.25 enjoys digital hidden picture puzzles and apps that offer interactive content comparable to material found in high quality children's nonfiction. We turn to YouTube or Wikipedia several times a day to investigate new concepts as they arise organically from discussions or books. Because of the relevance of accessing the content when it first comes up, I think my DS has a much richer concept of many topics than even children who are several years older than him. He has two shows he loves, and he watches these with rapt attention, and he's showing the ability to attend to and enjoy/appreciate some nonfiction adult programming, like Nova and National Geographic.

That being said, our media time is sprinkled throughout the day in small doses. It's seen as a tool and information portal, not a stand-alone source of entertainment. Our approach may well evolve as DS matures, but this approach has worked well for a 2 year old.

Agreed, in fact I'm not sure I've seen any really good studies of the negative affects of computer usage on kids, other than the obvious affect of not being active at that time.

We have allowed our ds to use his handheld games for connecting with other kids when other avenues appeared exhausted. Social connection via computers might be weird to some people, but it might be one of the most powerful uses of computers for gifted folks.

Just saying. (here. on the computerized forum.)

Personally, I don't care if there are studies or not. When I see adults or kids so involved in their online life that they lack the common manners of engaging with the humans around them, I know there is a thing as too much! I'm bothered when my son goes to friends' homes to play and the kids doesn't even interact with him because they won't get off their iPods. Or sitting at the Thanksgiving table and the relatives are more interested in carring on a FB chat than being polite. I don't want to raise a child like that, and I know only too well that too much screen time leads to an inability to concentrate. Reading on the screen, multi-tabbing, has made me struggle to concentrate on dense reading material. I'm too used to "reading" things in little snippets. My brain only expects to have to think in little jaunts anymore.

And forget the argument that they will be behind with technology. Using an iPad doesn't exactly involve having technological prowess. Hand one to any toddler and see how fast they pick it up. Using Word or the Internet doesn't take much skill either. Sure, there is a lot more than that to technology, and I'm all for kids learning programming, and not being afraid of turning on a computer (like my dad). But I've seen that disengaged baby too many times myself. I've been that person online who is to engrossed with worthless garble to pay attention when my sweet boy just wants to play with me.

Oh sure, it's so easy to get sucked into the line that there is so much wonderful useful information online. But in the end, I don't give a crap if my DS learned to read in 20 different languages because of some unprecedented technology and access to information, if he can't even look up and smile, and step away from it when I enter the room. I want to raise a human--loving, connected, and present. I want to model being that human to him as well. It is so hard in this day and age and I am more and more for limiting technology as time goes on.